Thursday Night Mowing League: New Blood Joins, Changes Their Lives Forever

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Commissioner’s report:

It was an interesting week for sure. This past weekend we finally got a break in the weather to get a load of dirt for the flagstone path project I’ve been rambling on about for what feels like a month. Saturday, the dirt was delivered and we put in about four hours that night and then about four hours Sunday to complete (yes, there are a couple of gaps that will need to be filled) the basic frame of the path and raise the bed along the fence for plants.

Correct, this isn’t a mowing report, but it’s part of the long-range plan to no longer mow a shaded patch of grass that was a pain in the ass.

We have been dealing with washouts in this area for a number of years. Water would come off the raised patio bed, wash into the grassy area and then the area along the fence was void of topsoil. Before last weekend, it was clay.

Now there’s a base to come in with plants that will (1.) love shade to part shade (2.) root and suck up the water and create a tight border for the rocks (3.) look a helluva lot better than blank areas filled with garbage off the trees.

Just like any new bed, we’ll have our work cut out for us this summer, but the early results are favorable.

BTW, yes, the neon plants were there from a previous homeowner. We never thought much of them because they never looked this good. They just saved us several dollars by coming back to life and looking nice.

And yes, the flagstone border on the fence side was purposely left without a straight edge so we can plant in the openings to make things interesting.

Stay tuned. It’s a work in progress.

As for the league, what a performance out of America last night. The beauty of last night is the fact that there were reports from coast-to-coast. Connecticut and Rhode Island are represented along with Oregon and San Diego, California. That’s awesome.

I can’t say enough great things about how you guys treat this league. The emails, Facebook messages, the tweets are awesome. It’s appreciated. Keep it up.

Next Week’s Mission:

I would like league members to work in the red, white and blue in your photos. Show us the stars and stripes in honor of Memorial Day Weekend.

Week 5 Power Rankings:

  1. Matt Schmitz
  2. Fink in Illinois
  3. Andy G. in Toledo
  4. TJ Bollmer in the 513
  5. Dave Holmgreen in Texas

Also receiving votes: Colton Lippert, Canoe Kirk, Beau in Toledo (for reminding all of us he uses jet fuel), Northside Ynzr (for his DIY stripe show).

Need a ruling


As always, if you are stuck needing to mow on a different day due to rain, Wednesday is fine. Friday and Saturday should be avoided at all costs. Please adjust your schedules accordingly.

That’s it for this week.

Have a great weekend.


Buy! Buy! Buy!

Thursday Night reports from across the United States:

• Dave in Rhode Island writes:

So the wife says to me this week, “We’ve been married for 25 years this coming October, can we maybe spice it up a little bit?”.  That really got me going!!  What could I do for her to bring back that lovin’ feelin’??!!

Thought about it for a bit, then it hit me – I raised it up to the 4″ max, got it warmed up, and BOOM! – – REVERSE 45 UPHILL WITH SLIGHT CONVEX CURVE!

Funny she hasn’t seemed to notice yet, but the night is young!

And a reminder of why we mow on Thursdays – my other wife gets slipped this weekend!  Cheers!  Dave

• Matt in Nashville writes:

Saw rain on the radar around 5-6 today so had to get in an early mow – no worries things went smoothly – aside from 85 degrees and almost 100% humidity. The carpet is really starting to thicken up nicely so that’s a plus. And to top it off I got to sport my Mow Like A Champion Today T for the first time. I hope the neighbors took the message to heart. 

On the sad news front, I have a (hopefully solvable) mystery on my hands. Everyone has their Mowing Shoes ™, but I also have Mowing Shorts ™ and they have seemingly disappeared. Like straight up disappeared. I have worn these bad boys every Thursday (and the occasional off day mow) for at least 7 or so years now. They have a solid drawstring that keeps em tight with the phone in the pocket, a nice burn mark where the exhaust from the backpack blower got a *little* too close, and even a green stripe that perfectly matches the League unis. Somehow last week they just vanished – eaten alive by the same washer/dryer monster that steals one sock from a pair, only they are way to large to just disappear like this.

An investigation is underway, but it prompted me to wonder if their are any other garments of clothing League members swear by and wear as reliably as their perfect pair of shoes or their trusty League uni shirt. Anyone care to chime in? Just don’t rub salt in the wound of my (hopefully temporary) loss.

As always, thanks to the sponsors out there. #Honda #Ryobi #Stihl #CoorsLight. Other than the shorts fiasco, tonight was a W. 

• Mike T. writes:

Greetings from beautiful Eagle Idaho!

Back in the game after an unexpected 3 week hiatus. I’m glad to report one of our daughters filled in and got a couple mows in for me in my absence!

Spring has sprung in the high mountain west and everything is full speed ahead.

I planted my seed garden before I left and will plant the tomatoes and peppers tomorrow!

6 catchers of grass trimmings today, a new record!

• Rob in NC writes:

Joe week 5 in the books…glad your boy is on the mend.  Had to go up and clear the gutter guard off of the pin oak whirly gigs.  Got a couple aerials to share.  Team effort on the nasties tonight with my son.  Working on getting the rest of some mulch down and getting the backyard amped up for pool beers and all. 

Shout to Husqvarna v554/Bobcat/stihl 650 blower fs90r weedeater…I love mowing in May…keep it up….Rob NC

• Sean C. in Granger, IN writes:

After last week’s DNP – User Error, I’m back. Technically I did mow last week, but it doesn’t count if you don’t sign your card and turn it in, right? I’m not making that mistake this week. I’m firing this one off right now.

First off, let me say that I’m glad to hear your son is doing better and that you have a handle on things. When SC didn’t come out on Tuesday, I knew something was up. Usually we get a heads up when you might miss a day, so the hope was that it was nothing too serious. Continued good health for you and your family.

I don’t know if you remember an old Saturday Night Live skit (back when it was funny) with guest host David Alan Grier. Will Ferrell and Mrs. Steve Carrell (Nancy Walls) hosted a morning tv show, ala the Today Show, when the teleprompter went out. It devolved into Lord of the Flies. That’s what I imagine happens in the community when Screen Caps unexpectedly doesn’t come out.

Anyway, back to the mowing. Another beautiful night. We’ve been really lucky the last 4 Thursdays. Perfect mowing weather. The sun hitting the neighbor’s trees gives me a little shade in the backyard by around 6pm. Makes for a comfortable walking mow.

One last thing. I love seeing you mess with the bots on Instagram and Twitter. Since I’m not on either, the best chance I get is the spam callers when I decide to play ball from time to time. However, in the last couple of months I’ve gotten a couple of, at least what seem to be, LinkedIn bots. Usually an attractive woman with a “profession” in finance. Once you connect, they are quick to respond and quickly goes from “thanks for connecting” to “Do you have WhatsApp?” So I get this message below the other day. Her message was “you come up as someone I should connect with, so…”.

Now, I’m not a LinkedIn snob. I’ll pretty much connect with anyone. I’m in sales. Connections are how I move product. How can it hurt? In her profile, it mentions she’s a “Gardner”. Perfect opening for me.

(Now, I haven’t gotten the push for WhatsApp from this one, so on the chance that she’s a real person, I did black out her name to avoid putting her on blast).

I see next week is going to be a scorcher. But best to get it done in order to enjoy the quickly approaching Memorial Day Holiday next weekend.

• Brian B. in Madison, CT writes:

Weather:  Sundown, 55 degrees, and overly dry lawn.

Pattern:  ‘A’ (same as week 1 and 3)

Mowing sponsors:  @HusqvarnaUSA and @newbalance.

Post-mowing sponsors: @yuenglingbeer (RWB cans – FJB / FU BL / FU ML) and @Kleenex for helping me clean out the pollen and dust.

Included two different views of the lawn.  Trying to document the benefits of the cross cut and how it catches any misses / high spots as well as any clipping rows.  While not perfect, it does look a lot better despite almost doubling the mowing time.  The overhead view just doesn’t capture it.  Maybe for week 6 I will stop before the second cut and take an overhead shot of it before and after the second cut.

• Jim M. writes:

Joe, Little Red decided to break her deck/blade cable. I had a hillbilly fix,  (vice grips!), but when I put the gas tank back in….no go…..this might take a while to find a part , she’s a 2001. I’ll check back if I have to go on the DL.

In the meantime, I bought a couple tomato plants that could produce a big tomato. I built an 8 foot planter for my deck where I grow 12 plants  What’s the biggest tomato that anyone in Screencaps Nation has grown?

Anyone for a friendly TNML big tomato contest? I’m going for over 3 lbs! 

Joe R. in Virginia writes:

Week 5 – beautiful day for mowing! 

Here are the quick hitters:

– Grub Killer and Weed & Feed going down,

– It’s going to be time to prune the hedges, 

– Anyone else seeing a lot of leaves dropping from your trees? Did we get a late freeze?

– Going to miss league night next week, hope I don’t drop too far out of the power rankings. 

• Johnny R. writes:

Good morning Joe! Opening day here in NE Oklahoma. We finally strung together enough 80 degree days for the bermuda to take hold and do its thing. There have been a few soft openings to cut spring weeds, but the lawn has come in now and it’s officially game time!

• Jason in Far Nor Cal writes:

Had to go hybrid schedule this week. Front yard on Tuesday, back yard Thursday after my kiddos school play. Worked out well. Thankful. Now I’ll have time this weekend to celebrate my brother’s birthday at the base of Mt Shasta “glamping” in McCloud, CA. Far Nor Cal.

• Pat G. in Gaston, OR writes:

Hey joe: been a capper for at least 8 months. Hell maybe a year. My go to when i wanna chill for 15 to 30.

1st time reaching out from Gaston Oregon (1 hour from the Oregon coast and 1 hour from libtown [Portland] where the mayor let’s the street campers, Antifa and other leftwing wackos run amok).

Dude has finally been getting some pushback, from alot of the wingnuts who voted for him.

Just a couple of quick hits.

Put in 3 hours of maintenance tonight after work on part of the 22 acres, half of the property has Filbert trees or hazelnuts (same thing).

Couldn’t finish everything tonight so gonna put in some more time tomorrow and free up the weekend for a nice ride on the road glide.

Read article yesterday talking about our recent vote which was dominated by school board elections.  The woke liberal crowd has been migrating at record numbers from the shit show towns they helped ruin into the more blue collar  farming/working communities. Guy from Canby oregon knows what I’m talking about.  His school board is now left leaning and another nearby town (newberg) voted out 3 members who caused a stir last year just because they would not allow all the BLM and rainbow flags and banners to litter the hallways and school grounds. Guess they can be prideful now!!

I like alot of the dad vice sayings that I’ve seen this week.  I’m past that era,  but now can use many of them on the next generation of Littles.

I think just be a good example, kids are sponges and will tend to copy what they see.

Last thing, I didn’t know what to make of that shitty Miller commercial. High life was my first drunk and puke show 46 years ago and then had a bit of everything else since.

15 years ago or more I revisited the clear bottle and has pretty much been my go to in the spring/summer months.

I did thing it was a pretty shitty commercial but not sure if it was woke enough to go kid rock on my half rack.

• Beau in Toledo writes:

MAN!! What a beautiful WeekWhateverItIs for Mowing!  Yeah, it was a tad chilly to start here in the 419, and I did make sure I covered up the kids that are perched on the herb rack to protect them, but once it hit around 1300, it was GAME ON!

Of COURSE, there were no start-up issues… made a run to Toledo Suburban Airport on Wednesday for a 100/LL fuel run… $6.25/gallon, but it sure beats carb and piston ring rebuilds mid season.  $75 well spent, as far as I’m concerned.

 It’s that time of year where the grass is Thicc (not a mis-spelling, TNML Editors) AF here… clippings will make for a good weed barrier in the garden, but WOW is it getting deep in the compost pile… another #3MowThursday that filled the 6ft @RamTrucks bed full today, too… Legs are starting to get used to this routine, so that’s a win.

Then again, we’ll be begging for this “wet/rain”  problem after THE Birthday of the USA.  Keep your rainbarrels full, Kids.

Anywho, the @BriggsStratton on the @TheToroCompany fired right up, after @StIHLUSA managed the trimming and edging, and the @HusqvarnaUSA did itt’s thing, as always..  Am I shocked?  NAH. 


• Jim from Liberty TWP, OH writes:

I can appreciate your story of Welcome Stadium men’s bathrooms having used them when my son’s high school was in the playoffs. If you gotta go, you gotta go.

Finished up early last night to get to my grandson’s baseball game. I keep a 15 pack of Garage beer from Braxton in my garage fridge all the time. Best “lawn mowin” beer I’ve found.

• Mark W. writes:

Stripes are down and everything is slowly recovering from some brutal winter freezes. Still have to replace a few plants, but it is getting back into shape. Thanks to Toro for the cut, Echo for the edges and trimming, and Stihl for the clean-up. Refreshmwas a Jackalope Brewery Love Birds ale.

Written by Joe Kinsey

Joe Kinsey is the Senior Director of Content of OutKick and the editor of the Morning Screencaps column that examines a variety of stories taking place in real America.

Kinsey is also the founder of OutKick’s Thursday Night Mowing League, America’s largest virtual mowing league.

Kinsey graduated from University of Toledo.

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