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Nice, I want to read about a guy hitting a massive lottery jackpot and telling his boss to shove it.
Hell yeah, I’m going to click on this link, get all fired up about hitting the lottery and what I would do with all that money.
I was cruising the Internet this afternoon when a headline grabbed my attention: “Lottery player tries to work after jackpot win in Iowa. He ‘lasted about five minutes(.)’
It was hook, line, and sinker. My brain was fully invested. It’s not that I hate my job as a blogger and I have dreams of hitting it big and installing an insane backyard to throw massive sports ragers for my kids. Actually, the last part is on my brain, but I do like my job. However, I would quit and disappear IMMEDIATELY after hitting the lotto because I could.
That’s where I thought this story from Yahoo!, via the Kansas City Star, was heading.
“Kelly Als was on his lunch break when he headed to the gas station that’s kitty-corner from the auto body shop where he works,” Kaitlyn Alanis writes in her lede.
YES, I’m rooting for Kelly here. WIN BIG! WIN A BIG PILE OF F-YOU MONEY! Do it for all of us who want to tell our bosses to shove it (actually, I like Clay and the Fox News Corp. team, so I would graciously tell them I’m going off the grid and it was nice working with them) after WINNING BIG.
“While there, the Mason City man bought a couple InstaPlay tickets, according to a news release from the Iowa Lottery. One of those tickets was a big winner, officials said,” Kaitlyn continued.
Here it comes…tell me Kelly WON HUGE…I want to celebrate with this guy. I want to feel jealousy rage through my body.
“Als had won the $21,251 jackpot prize with a $2 “Cherry Twist Progressive” ticket, according to the release,” the Kansas City Star writer concluded.
Are you kidding me? The lottery, the Kansas City Star and Yahoo! gave me a story about a guy winning $21k?
That’s right, it was one of the biggest scumbag headlines in the history of journalism.
It turns out that Kelly went back to work, started getting jittery and told his boss he needed to take the rest of the day off. The guy was on a heater and needed to smoke a cig or do whatever he does to chill out.
After some quick data entry work on TaxAct.com, it was determined that Kelly will owe around $6,375 in taxes on his winnings which will leave him $14,876.
Shame on the Kansas City Star and Yahoo! for this stunt they just pulled. There is scumbag clickbait and then there’s getting one’s hopes up that this lottery guy hit it so big that he can afford something like this.