The Woke All-Star Challenge Elite 8 — Vote NOW!

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The votes are in, they’ve been tripled checked for cheaters trying to rig the elections and the 2023 Woke All-Star Challenge Fairness & Equality Division can confirm the Elite 8 is set and voting IS NOW LIVE as we work our way towards adding a new name to the Mount Rushmore of Woke.

Without question, the biggest news out of the Sweet 16 had to be woke hustler No. 4 seed Bomani Jones pulling off a major upset over No. 1 seed Elle Duncan. Some are saying the seeding committee didn’t do Duncan any favors by giving her such a high-level woke battle in the regional semifinals, but folks, this one wasn’t even close. With a whopping 84% of the vote (we triple-checked the count after multiple complaints from Duncan’s camp), Bomani Jones and his brand of woke is moving on to what some are calling the Greatest Regional Final in Woke All-Star Challenge history.

Cop hater Mark Jones and big-brain woke race hustler Bo will now battle it out to represent the #MeToo Region in the Identity Politics Final Four. This is as big as it gets. For Bo, making the Final Four of Woke just might be the biggest accomplishment of his career that has seen him use race privilege to tank TV show after TV show.

There are huge matchups across the board. You look at the Gaslight Region and we have that fool Rex Chapman against MLK memorabilia collector Rovell in a vintage matchup that woke analysts love to see. Down in the Nonbinary, you have woke rising star Kendrick Perkins versus Mina Kimes, who has woke tendencies, but she’s gonna need to crank it up a notch to beat the No. 1 seed. She barely beat Ryan Clark in the semis and it feels like that was just on name recognition.

Finally, over in the Toxic Masculinity, Steve Kerr survived a battle with his fellow off-the-charts woke NBA coach Gregg Popovich, who should’ve been able to keep it closer than 57-42%. Now Kerr must face Dan Wolken, a guy who is barely known nationally, but he’s so damn woke that he beat the piss out of Kaepernick lover Mike Florio.

You see the bracket. Now things get real interesting. Can anyone stop Bomani Jones? Can Dan Wolken continue his historic run? Is Rovell’s MLK autograph collection enough to take out Chapman?

It’s time to find out who wants it more.

Let’s get to the rules:

  1. Voting will consist of Twitter polls and one other online poll for those who refuse to use Twitter.
  2. Our voting system is the most secure, and most respected in the online bracket industry; there will be no shenanigans or ballot harvesting here.
  3. Voting will run for 24 hours. That’s it. Our Director of Voting will drop the hammer at 24:00:00.
  4. Yes, wokes are encouraged to go woke AF during the competition in order to influence his vote counts. That’s the name of the game. Woke never sleeps.
  5. The Woke Sweet 16 voting takes place Thursday, March 16; Elite 8 voting takes place Friday, March 17.
  6. Then it’s onto the Identity Politics Final Four on March 23 and March 24.
  7. The 2023 Woke All-Star Challenge winner will be announced Monday, March 27 (because we want to maximize the clicks and eyeballs and Monday morning before the national championship makes the most business sense).
  8. No purchase necessary.

Written by Joe Kinsey

Joe Kinsey is the Senior Director of Content of OutKick and the editor of the Morning Screencaps column that examines a variety of stories taking place in real America.

Kinsey is also the founder of OutKick’s Thursday Night Mowing League, America’s largest virtual mowing league.

Kinsey graduated from University of Toledo.

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