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Two years ago Outkick the Coverage named West Virginia the eighth dumbest fan base in America, and the state — at least the parts with Internet– came undone. It led to an epic hate mailbag filled with the most grammatically challenged emails you’ve ever seen. A year later this cycle repeated itself when local news in West Virgnia, not realizing the story was a year old, led their newscast with Outkick’s dumbest fan base ranking, leading to another cycle of Mountaineer abuse.
Everyone who wasn’t a West Virginia fan was united in a core belief — I’d vastly underrated the Mountaineer fanbase’s stupidity. How had I only ranked them eighth? Many people wrote in with truly damning insults that cut right to the core of West Virginia. No, it wasn’t that they were statistically the dumbest state in the union, or the fact that they are the only state to lose population since 1940 — do you know how hard it is to lose population while the rest of the country has nearly tripled its overall population? — it was this: the state’s John Denver national anthem, “Take Me Home, Country Roads,” is actually written about western Virginia, not actually West Virginia.
Quoth an emailer who requested anonymity because he currently lives in the state: “Not only is John Denver’s ‘Country Roads’ the University song, it is the unofficial state song of West Virginia. The comical part — it was written about west (western) Virginia. Ask someone in Morgantown to point you to the Blue Ridge Mountains or Shenandoah River. Nothing like some West Virginians collectively singing a song about a different state. Specifically an area relating to Virginia Tech, one of their rivals.”
This was mind blowing.
But the craziest thing of all is this — ask anyone the most recognizable part of West Virginia athletics and they all agree — it’s couch burning.
This happens when you don’t ever win anything; you’re known for destroying things instead. Do you know how many men’s national championships the school has won in its history? One, the 1938 boxing title.
To be fair, West Virginia has won 17 national titles in coed rifle shooting. Honestly, I’m not making this up. Their rifle team is even a part of something called the Great America Rifle Conference, which, I’m sure, features a ton of Democrats. The school does boast, however, that its football team has the most wins ever without winning a national championship. Which sums up West Virginia perfectly. Win some, lose the games that matter.
At least things are going well with the coal industry.
With all the hoopla surrounding Outkick’s dumbest fan base rankings, I decided it was time I head to West Virginia for a game. And by “head to West Virginia for a game” I meant “burn a couch.”
Turns out there were only four stores that sold couches in Morgantown and buying a couch was more difficult than I anticipated.
After that I went out to talk to the fans. Here’s a quick hitter of fans discussing whether they are actually that dumb and how safe Clay Travis would ever be if he showed his face in Morgantown.
It’s totally clear I underrated them.
Here are the rest of Outkick’s ten dumbest fan bases:
10. The University of Tennessee
9. Outkick the Coverage/Clay Travis fans
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