The Perfect Gift For Every Bama Fan On Your Christmas List

Videos by OutKick

Merry Christmas from Outkick the Coverage. 

I know how difficult it can be to find the perfect Christmas gift.

In fact, with just two days remaining before Christmas, most of you aren’t working today and many of you are scrambling to find the perfect gift for everyone on your holiday lists. 

Well, you’re in luck. 

How about an Alabama bench?

This is the perfect way to honor your Crimson Tide fandom while also supporting the 85% in its eternal quest for a portable heater.

It’s only $40!

How do I love this bench?

Let me count the (five) ways. 


1. Half of the coaches names are spelled correctly.

This actually qualifies you for Bama fan MENSA. 

2. 85% of Bama fans see this and think, “You know, when we sit down to eat on visitation day at the local prison, we do need to support the Tide.” 

And right now we’re not doing that at all. 

3. This bench actually survived the 2013 Iron Bowl without being broken. 

Because you know a Bama fan definitely hurled it off the front porch of his trailer. 

That proves it’s sturdy.

4. I like the way it toggles between capital and lower case letters.

It gives the bench the requisite gravitas, like a ransom note that you can sit on!  

5. The fact that someone even thought to do this.

Most of us would see a bench and think, “You know, that bench looks pretty normal.”

Not the 85%.

They have to demonstrate their sub-literacy everywhere.

On their tattoos, on Twitter.

On the very bench they sit on while they fill out their unemployment claims.

Role Tyde, y’all.   

Written by Clay Travis

Clay Travis is the founder of the fastest growing national multimedia platform, OutKick, that produces and distributes engaging content across sports and pop culture to millions of fans across the country. OutKick was created by Travis in 2011 and sold to the Fox Corporation in 2021.

One of the most electrifying and outspoken personalities in the industry, Travis hosts OutKick The Show where he provides his unfiltered opinion on the most compelling headlines throughout sports, culture, and politics. He also makes regular appearances on FOX News Media as a contributor providing analysis on a variety of subjects ranging from sports news to the cultural landscape. Throughout the college football season, Travis is on Big Noon Kickoff for Fox Sports breaking down the game and the latest storylines.

Additionally, Travis serves as a co-host of The Clay Travis and Buck Sexton Show, a three-hour conservative radio talk program syndicated across Premiere Networks radio stations nationwide.

Previously, he launched OutKick The Coverage on Fox Sports Radio that included interviews and listener interactions and was on Fox Sports Bet for four years. Additionally, Travis started an iHeartRadio Original Podcast called Wins & Losses that featured in-depth conversations with the biggest names in sports.

Travis is a graduate of George Washington University as well as Vanderbilt Law School. Based in Nashville, he is the author of Dixieland Delight, On Rocky Top, and Republicans Buy Sneakers Too.