The Bronx Zoo Gorillas Have Had A Bunch Of Sex This Week

“Hey kids, let’s go over to the gorillas and see what they’re up to today…OK, I understand…yes, they’re probably just sitting around the enclosure waiting for little kids to ragdoll in honor of Harambe!” 

10 minutes and 25 yards later after fighting through strollers…DEAR GOD THAT GORILLA IS BLOWING A FELLOW GORILLA…HOLY S&^%!

That was the scene at the Bronx Zoo where customers got more than they bargained for as a couple of gorillas enjoyed some basic, natural oral sex as they would in the wild if they weren’t holed up in the Bronx putting on a show for the paying customers.

But such is life for a gorilla that’s confined to an exhibit space where there aren’t too many oral sex hiding spots. Hey, this looks like a good place to be blown. Let’s do it here.

In a 2006 New York Times story, Jason Rowe, who was the gorillas’ senior zookeeper at the time, explained that his gorillas don’t even look for a hiding spot. “It’s no mystery. They don’t go off in the corner — it’s any time, anywhere.”

Don’t believe Rowe? Over on Reddit, a user was at the Bronx Zoo over the weekend and the gorillas were taking a trip to pound-town. Let this serve as your warning the next time you take the kids to the gorilla exhibit. One minute they could be flipping off your kid, the next minute they could have you answering multiple questions in the minivan on the way home.

Your kids wanted to see nature. Well, here it is.

Written by Joe Kinsey

I'm an Ohio guy, born in Dayton, who roots for Ohio State and can handle you guys destroying the Buckeyes, Urban Meyer and everything associated with Columbus.