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I’m not sure there has ever been a more perfect time for a drinking game than the Alabama-Michigan State playoff game on New Year’s Eve night. Sure, the college football playoff leaders are idiots for playing the games on December 31st instead of Saturday January 2nd when there are no scheduled games and everyone is off work, but this is the kind of idiocy we’ve come to expect from the leaders of college football.
And the benefit — you can drink a ton and not have to work in the morning.
It’s Outkick drinking game perfection.
I will be broadcasting Alabama-Michigan State live on Periscope and Facebook. So I hope y’all will play along live with me and you can always play along with your Internet friends on Twitter by using the hashtag #outkick.
Okay, here we go, with 16 drinking game rules for 2016.
1. The SEC is playing the Big Ten, drink each time this is mentioned.
Whenever the South or the North, the SEC or the Big Ten, is insulted at your party, the insulting party, if Southern, may assign seven drinks, in honor of the SEC’s seven consecutive national championships. If the insulting party is Northern, he may assign one drink, in honor of the Big Ten’s one consecutive national title.
2. Whenever anyone in your house says, “Can we check the New Year’s Eve show?” that person must drink to a count of ten for being an asshole.
It’s a ball dropping.
It’s no big deal, it happens to all men at some point. Even Lane Kiffin.
If it’s your girlfriend or boyfriend, wife or husband, who asks for the channel to be changed, then you have to drink to a count of twenty for being the asshole who brought them to the party.
3. Despite what Sports Illustrated says Mark Dantonio and Mike D’antoni are not the same people, whenever the lack of respect for Dantonio is mentioned, drink.
If the lack of respect is accompanied by a graphic of Dantonio’s wins and losses or a mention of him coaching under Saban at Michigan State, do a shot.
4. When Alabama’s loss to Ole Miss or Michigan State’s loss to Nebraska is mentioned or highlights of either game are shown, drink.
Did you know both teams lost? Really, they did.
5. Connor Cook was not named a team captain.
When this, his personality, or his playmaking ability is mentioned or discussed, drink.
6. When someone at your party asks, “Is Kirk Herbstreit married?” drink.
If it’s a guy, do a shot as well.
7. If the people at your party can’t come up with a distinguishing characteristic between Chris Fowler and Rece Davis, aside from their names being different, drink.
Note: everyone will drink.
8. Nick Saban is always upset with Lane Kiffin.
When Nick Saban is shown upset with Lane Kiffin, drink.
9. When Derrick Henry’s Heisman is mentioned or his stats are referenced, drink.
If they show his high school stats — which they should — everyone has to drink in honor of the 150 pound sophomore safety in north Florida who had to spend an entire game tackling Henry.
That player is now dead, but he had a fulfilling 16 year life.
10. Urban Meyer isn’t coaching in this game. Whenever Urban Meyer is mentioned, drink.
When the highlight of Michigan State beating Ohio State is shown, drink while everyone extends their middle finger at the Buckeyes.
11. When Alabama’s loss to Ohio State last season in the playoff is mentioned, drink.
If Derrick Henry’s lack of carries is mentioned in conjunction with this mention, do a shot.
12. If Kirby Smart’s new job as head coach of the Georgia Bulldogs is mentioned, drink.
If it’s accompanied by reference of “two defensive coordinators sharing the same office” do a shot.
13. Did you know Jacob Coker is a transfer from Florida State and this is his first year starting?
Whenever either is mentioned, drink.
14. When they show an Alabama fan in the crowd and you think, “How the hell did that dude afford tickets to this game?” drink.
It’s amazing how often this happens.
15. When they show a hot girl in the stadium, drink.
If she’s from Michigan State, do a shot.
16. Alabama is going to blow out Michigan State.
When Kirk and Chris start to discuss how Alabama matches up with Oklahoma in the title game, you can switch to the ball dropping.
The only way to make this drinking game better? By wearing your own Outkick gear — pants are $20! — while you play the game.
(If you have on Outkick gear you get to assign ten drinks in the pre-game. If this seems unfair, it is, but how else am I going to pay for all these vintage Ghostbuster toys my five year old is making me buy?)
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