The 10 Dumbest Fan Bases in America: #6 the Notre Dame Fighting Irish

Notre Dame has more fans that didn’t go to Notre Dame than any school in the country, a whopping 96% of Fighting Irish fans on Facebook didn’t go to Notre Dame. 

96%!

This is an insane stat. For instance, we all know Alabama fans are dumb. But according to Facebook 8% of Tide fans actually went to Alabama. This means that Alabama fans were twice as likely to have gone to Alabama as Notre Dame fans were to go to Notre Dame. This means that Alabama fans can make fun of Notre Dame for having twice as many dumb, bandwagon fans. 

Does this not blow your mind?

This means Notre Dame has the most fans in all of college sports with no connection to the actual school. So why is Notre Dame not the dumbest fan base? I’ll tell you, because the 4% of fans who actually go to Notre Dame are smart. Because, you know, they’re actually capable of being admitted to Notre Dame. This means that Notre Dame probably has the largest gap between average intelligence of graduates and average intelligence of fans in the entire country. This schism is an unholy fanbase alliance that cannot stand. 

Once you realize that Notre Dame “fans” aren’t capable of being admitted to Notre Dame, the Fighting Irish social media presence makes so much more sense. I used to read Notre Dame fan tweets like this:

“Your gay. ND rules. #rudybitch”

And I’d think to myself, “Oh, okay, this is pretty funny. Notre Dame fans are ironically pretending to be as dumb as SEC fans.” Then I’d click on Johnny from Jersey’s Twitter profile and realize that he was totally real and wasn’t being ironically funny. 

As if the fans weren’t dumb enough, Notre Dame media is dumber. We’ve all had to be subjected to Lou Holtz picking Notre Dame and South Carolina to play for the national title for the past 14 consecutive years. Even the Fighting Irish media makes you want to smother your face in a leprechaun hat.  

Notre Dame fans are infuriating and dumb for five primary reasons, which I will now itemize for you below:

1. They live on the East Coast and aren’t actually college football fans.

Notre Dame “fans” are the least knowledgeable in all of college football. They make Arkansas and Tennessee fans seem like geniuses. Most dumb fan bases at least pay attention to what’s going on in the rest of the sport. Notre Dame fans have no idea. They all live on the East Coast, which is a wasteland for decent college football.

When they aren’t “rooting” for Notre Dame they’re big Eagles or Giants or Jets or Patriots fans. In fact, how bad are Notre Dame fans? Think of the worst characteristics of NFL east coast fans. Then imagine all these guys rooted for the same college team.

Yeah, that bad.

Lest you forget, remember when Nebraska went on the road at Notre Dame and bought out the entire stadium? This was a perfect storm of fans who are obsessed with their team and have nothing else to do with Notre Dame fans, people who don’t really care at all.  

2. They root for Notre Dame because they are the same religion.

Which, you know, is the same rationale that fuels terrorism in the Middle East. 

Bravo. 

Fortunately, “Beat the Protestants,” isn’t a very popular cheer anymore because no one knows what a protestant is. Only in South Bend could a football team’s fans violate the sacred separation of church and state in our first amendment by commingling them on Saturdays. 

Of course, most of your players aren’t even Catholic.

Hail mary.  

3. Notre Dame makes Ohio State seem underrated. 

There is no team in the history of college football that has been more consistently overrated than Notre Dame. No team surges more based on mediocre wins or is rewarded more for “good losses.” The Fighting Irish are a poll rocket propelled by the idiocy of East Coast college football fans and the media who cover them. 

In fact, if we were writing a Notre Dame football biography of the past 25 years it would be titled: “Good Losses: The Notre Dame Story”

Hell, Charlie Weis and Notre Dame lost to USC in the greatest loss in the history of college football way back in 2005. That loss was so spectacular and presaged such historic days to come that it got Charlie Weis a billion dollar contract extension.

When Brian Kelly, the coach who has mastered the national title contending 8-5 record at Notre Dame, loses to Clemson on a late field goal in October, he’s going to get a ten year extension on the spot.

“Did you guys see how well these guys lost?! It’s impossible to lose that well! This loss is more important than any win.”

Notre Dame, the school that keeps Clemson from Clemsoning.  

4. You admit the same kind of players as everyone else.

Whenever they lose — which is frequently — Notre Dame fans always try and say they’re doing things, “The right way.” As if their football players are going to step straight off the gridiron and all become neurosurgeons.  

Guess what, your players are all at academic risk according to your own coach. 

“But, but…”

You admit the same kind of players as everyone else. Your players just aren’t as good because the best players don’t want to go to college in middle of nowhere Indiana and slog around in snowdrifts all winter.

Fun fact, do you know what the most boring state east of the Mississippi is?

It’s Indiana. 

Fun fact number two, do you know where the only Heisman finalist to ever have a fake dead girlfriend went to school?

It’s Notre Dame. 

Wake up the echoes!

5. “Is Notre Dame back?”

No, the answer is always no. 

Notre Dame is the Tiger Woods of college football, only the sucky Tiger Woods, the one that hasn’t won anything in forever and lives off the reflected glory of his past successes. The moment Notre Dame beats some tomato can from the MAC, everyone starts asking the question: “Is Notre Dame back?”

This culminated in the 2012 national title game when Alabama could have beaten Notre Dame 154-0 if the Tide had wanted to and everyone who argued with me all season that the Fighting Irish were back slunk off into dark corners and quietly cried into their Fighting Irish t-shirts. (Which had been purchased the week before).

The 12-0 Notre Dame team from 2012 was the exact same as Notre Dame under Brian Kelly always is — it was just an 8-4 team in disguise. The Fighting irish are a perpetual 8-4, a soft six that struts around like she’s a ten.   

How overrated is Notre Dame?

If they beat Texas to start the season they’ll surge into the top ten and everyone will be talking about their playoff chances. 

Texas!

Just wait. 

Outkick’s ten dumbest fan bases in America:

10. The University of Tennessee

9. Outkick the Coverage and Clay Travis fans

8. The Arkansas Razorbacks

7. The University of Texas

Written by Clay Travis

OutKick founder, host and author. He's presently banned from appearing on both CNN and ESPN because he’s too honest for both.