The #1 Dumbest Fan Base in America: Outkick the Coverage Commenters
Anonymous Reader Submission
What would happen if the most ignorant and intolerant group of sports fans all got online to (attempt to) read the same sports blog?
You’d have the comments section of Outkick the Coverage.
OKTC commenters are the most illogical and hypocritical people ever. They love their local college football teams, despite the fact that most of them did not (ok… weren’t intelligent enough to) attend that college. They will immediately believe that any scandal involving a rival team is true, while denying any wrongdoing by their own team and crying foul against anyone who pursues the story. They are utterly incapable of understanding sarcasm and using proper grammar. When questioned, teased, befuddled or overmatched, they can only resort to insults and dismissal. They fear what they cannot understand. Which includes almost everything.
Honestly, it’s amazing that they actually have internet access and the ability to type.
What’s the Dumbest Stereotypical OKTC Comment Writer Like In His Element?
He’s already missed the point of the sentence immediately above this one. This section of the article already labels itself as “stereotyping” the “dumbest” member of the fan base. That means it is only describing him if he is a hypothetical moron. Don’t worry, though, that won’t stop him from taking everything personally. He’ll call the author of the article an idiot and insult him for using stereotypes, despite the fact that the author already admitted to using them to achieve a humorous result. This is all part of his overwhelming inability to understand even the simplest concepts. He’ll demand that OKTC fire Clay Travis, even though it’s pretty obvious that OKTC is owned by Clay Travis. He will say that he doesn’t care what anyone else thinks about his team and then whine like a baby when someone makes fun of his team. He will say the article was too long or the whole thing is a waste of time, and then he’ll spend the next week fuming about some guy he doesn’t know sarcastically insulting the only thing he cares about besides his dog and his VHS porn collection.
When Clay writes something he doesn’t agree with, he will call him a bad journalist. This is the same guy who thinks that Glenn Beck is a journalist. He cannot understand jokes. If Clay says that he is from a dumb state, he will demand tests scores as proof; even though his own high school transcript is evidence enough. Then he will say he is smarter than the guy with the law degree and misspell the word “homosexual.”
His element can be almost anywhere. It’s possible to get free WIFI in some Stuckey’s stores now. He’s probably goofing off at work. Maybe he’s in his mom’s basement eating Frito Lays and drinking warm Bud Light. Maybe she just finished looking at pictures of her sister’s kids on Facebook and her friend with a sense of humor shared an OKTC article. It really doesn’t matter where they are; it only matters that they don’t get the joke. And they’re dumb. And they’re angry. Not angry enough to quit reading the site, though.
The dumb fan has seen people who also cheer for his team do dumb things. He’s seen them poison trees, set couches on fire, and film themselves rubbing their balls on passed out drunks. He knows that people in his state do stupid and criminal things, but he is totally willing to defend them as long as they wear his team colors. His entire identity and all of his fragile confidence is based on his connection to his team. It’s all or nothing in his book. He thinks the number one rule of being a Republican is hating Democrats. He thinks the most important part of being a Christian is judging everyone who isn’t. He thinks that being straight means he has to hate gay people. To him, sports and life are about competition, and if you’re not winning, you’re losing. And that’s what makes him a loser.