Exactly one year ago, The Pole Assassin’s monkey bit a trick-or-treater. Now, 365 days later, she has shared what this year’s Halloween haunted house looks like.
For those who are unfamiliar with The Pole Assassin and have no idea what is going on, let me catch you up. It’s one of college football’s weirdest and best stories in recent years.
Jeff Banks, 47, is considered the one of the top special teams coordinators in college football. He is serving in that role on Steve Sarkisian’s staff at Texas after being hired away from Alabama in 2021 with a contract that makes him the highest-paid coach with his title in the sport.
On a personal level, Banks has a daughter and two sons with his ex-wife Kori. He left his ex-wife sometime between August of 2017 and February of 2018 and started dating a woman by the name of Dani Thomas not long thereafter. They even married recently.
Thomas, professionally, is known as The Pole Assassin. That title has been bestowed upon her because of her unbelievable skill as a stripper. And I don’t say that facetiously.
The Pole Assassin is an incredible athlete.
Forget everything you might know or assume about a stripper. All of it.
I’m not talking about a woman in a skimpy outfit dancing around on stage. That isn’t enough for me to care — that’s not my thing. I’m talking next-level athleticism.
The tricks and stunts that Thomas does while at work are insane. Don’t just take my word for it, check it out for yourself— though be warned that it is very NSFW:
Thomas is such a big deal in her field that she has even performed on The Jerry Springer Show.
The Pole Assassin is a tremendously talented athlete. In addition, on occasion, she brings out Gia.
Gia is Thomas’ emotional support monkey who sometimes joins her at work. No, seriously.
Thomas often brings Gia on-stage (click here to see) and the two of them rake up the big money. She can make up to $5,000 for just one performance.
And apparently she is friends with Cardi B.
All of this goes to say that Jeff Banks has an incredible eye for talent. However, his relationship with Thomas, and in turn Gia, found him at the center of controversy last Halloween
The Pole Assassin’s monkey bit a trick-or-treater.
On October 31, 2021, Thomas and Banks opened their Austin-area home to the children in the neighborhood. They do a haunted house in their backyard every year and last year was no exception.
At some point during the evening, one of the trick-or-treaters was bit by Gia. That part has been confirmed.
How it happened, however, depends on who you ask. A lawsuit against Thomas alleged that a group of children were invited to her home for a haunted house.
“Afterwards, the children were taken to a monkey that Thomas kept in her backyard and told the monkey was trained to give high fives. [Minor plaintiff] attempted to high five the monkey, but the animal aggressively bit his hand and caused injuries.”
Thomas claimed that was not true in since-deleted tweets.
She also tweeted the following:
I had a haunted house on one side gated off/ he had no permission to go pass the gate i had no idea he went in my back yard. neither did i know anything about a bite ! Until a doctor of neighborhood told me the treat a small bite. No parent have contacted me about it !— Dani Thomas, aka the Pole Assassin
The lawsuit said that she was lying. It claimed that Thomas “later falsely stated on social media that minor plaintiff did not have permission to be on the property.”
Thomas disputed the allegations and posted a since-deleted video account of her side of the incident:
Regardless of what played out, the child was bit. The lawsuit also stated that an adult was forced to “manually pry the monkey’s jaw open” after Gia bit down.
And when a doctor came over to treat the child, the lawsuit claims that Thomas offered a hilarious reason for why there was no cause for concern.
“Danielle Thomas stated to the physician that the monkey had bitten her before and that she was fine, implying that the monkey therefore did not have rabies,” it states.
There you have it! No rabies!
Although the full story remains unclear, Gia bit a trick-or-treater. That happened.
Last year’s monkey bite is not stopping Jeff Banks and The Pole Assassin from having another haunted house in 2022.
As trick-or-treaters make their way around Austin, Texas, Banks and Thomas’ home will be open. They are not letting last year’s incident hold them back and their haunted house decorations are legit.
Here is what their haunted house will look like on Monday night:
What Thomas did not show is where Gia will be held during the Halloween festivities.
Will she be in her cage like last year? Will Banks and Thomas keep her inside?
Regardless of where Gia is held, the Pole Assassin is surely being extra careful to make sure that her emotional support stripper monkey does not bite another trick-or-treater.