TAMU Road Trip: So Many Traditions, So Little Time

Let’s just go ahead and clear something up before recapping Ole Miss at Texas A&M. Until this weekend, I found A&M fans to be just as annoying as Auburn fans, which is saying a lot for an Alabama alum.  First, I didn’t like when they joined the SEC because my naive little heart thought we would get Texas. Looking back, this was top 10 most moronic things I could’ve hoped for.  They came into Tuscaloosa and beat us during my senior year with some QB that they had given a nickname, like he was in the “cool girls” group in high school. I went to their bowl game last year for said QBs last game, their cheers during the game drove me insane and I swore I would never willingly go to another game of theirs. That all changed this weekend.

Getting ready for these trips requires work throughout the week, I’ve got to figure out where I’m staying, when am I getting there, which boutique am I going to use for my gameday outfit, what will be going on to write about, how to get a ticket, etc. Since moving to Texas I’ve met some friends who went to A&M and while some of them are male and wear rings that are not their wedding rings (that I religiously make fun of them for) they’ve been determined to convert me to a fan of Aggieland. The thing I heard the most about? This website called TexAgs.com… which I assumed is where their fans would go and troll each other. I was not impressed, but I may or may not have just gotten a subscription. Let’s see what this small Texas town brought to the table this weekend.

THURSDAY

Through various Twitter accounts I got in touch with Gabe Bock from TexAgs and went on their radio show fan hour on Thursday to get some advice on where to go for the weekend. These guys became my “unofficial” hosts for the weekend, besides my friend Courtney. Their radio show was hilarious and so much fun to do and I’ll be back on with them this coming Thursday. My thoughts on TexAgs being a place for trolls was changing.

Additionally, I was given a crash course in all of the TAMU traditions: Ring Day, Midnight Yell, Bottle Cap Alley, the War Hymn, and the Corps, seriously I’m forgetting a ton, but you get the point. I was slightly overwhelmed.

FRIDAY

I got into town and headed to see the sweet ladies at Sabi Boutique who were so wonderful to me! They had all sorts of outfits pulled for me to choose from. Since it was supposed to rain and finally be below 90 degrees I went with pants and a top. I know I’m not in college anymore when I care about possibly being cold. Thank you again Natalie, Meredith, and Janis!

After picking out a great neutral outfit, I headed to the premiere of the TexAgs SEC Ready documentary premiere that they were showing on campus. While on the way, we ran into this car, and if you don’t know what movie this is from, just stop reading now. I didn’t need to see another thing, weekend made.

I had no idea what to expect from the film. I had been told was that our favorite homophobic racist gay Muslim wore a horrific pink shirt during his interview. The documentary is details how Texas A&M came to join the SEC and it is exceptionally well done. So well that I nominate it for the 30 for 30 treatment. In summary, we should all be thankful TAMU joined the SEC, thus leading to the SEC network, Clay still needs fashion help, and Dan Beebe is a moron.

At the premiere, I met someone whose name I had heard a few times before, Billy Liucci. I quickly realized Billy IS College Station, and he let Courtney and I know where to head out to. Where was our first stop? Chimy’s… the bar that Johnny built. Yes, this is the same bar where Johnny had prepaid for the entire bar to have a shot and beer when he got drafted. They also have margaritas, at all times. I was sold. While at Chimy’s it was time to leave for Midnight Yell, which is just something that no matter how neat it is to watch, I can’t get behind. After realizing we probably couldn’t walk there in time, I made the executive decision to not go to Midnight Yell and instead get the full Friday night tour of College Station. Chimy’s was a blast, but then we made the rounds with my new tour guide Billy and some of his friends, who might be the funniest group of people I’ve ever met. All in all, we made about 6 different stops, all of which were a blast.

Why did I not have a voice Sunday morning? Because Lionel Richie, N*Sync, and Gary Allen’s greatest hits were calling my name and who was I to let them not enjoy my voice of an angel? The great thing about Texas- you can get Mexican food at almost any hour. It’s incredible.

SATURDAY

I was staying at my friend Courtney’s friend’s house, along with, I’m not exaggerating, 21 other people. It was basically a modern day brothel, without the inappropriate stuff. I woke up to someone saying, “Hey, Clay Travis is sending some girl here this weekend. We need to find her.” I’m such a big shot he didn’t realize I was in the same house. Pretty great.

Saturday morning and early afternoon were filled with rain and storms and put a delay on the tailgating. I was nervous for these TAMU fans and an 8pm kickoff. I know the Ole Miss crowd can handle it, and I believe they were still drunk from last weekend. We made our way to Northgate for lunch and then bar hopped some and I was introduced to the Dixie Chicken, which is a local landmark. If you’re hoping for something pretty, it’s not, but I get the appeal. I was also shown Bottle Cap Alley which is filled with beer caps that nobody ever picks up, because who needs recycling? Texas forever. After my daylight Northgate tour we headed out to the tailgates where I asked random girls and groups of tailgaters for pictures and they looked at me like if this girl really writes for Outkick why haven’t we seen her on TV. I’ve been wondering the same thing, you guys. My only complaint of the entire weekend is that TAMU tailgating is spread WAAY out and that another sing-a-long session didn’t occur.

After touring the tailgates I stopped by the TexAgs office where Billy and his heart of gold had gotten me a field pass for the game with him and his two guests, who may or may not have been JJ Watt and Shane Lechler. Now for those of you who follow me on twitter, I’m a HUGE fan of the show The League. While most people would have all kinds of questions for JJ about his career and the Texans, I just needed to know how Ruxin, Jenny, Kevin, and Taco were and if he had contracted Andre-ids. Ladies, he hasn’t. JJ is exactly what you see on and off the field, a class act guy, even if he did continuously tell me I was an Ole Miss fan in my neutral outfit and say “Hotty Toddy” in his Wisconsin accent. Shane is a legend and absolutely hilarious, but overall I think more people wanted to talk to Billy about recruiting and all things TAMU. The beautiful women instinctively flock to JJ like the salmon of Capistrano. 

I can’t really explain to you how great being on the field for a game is. It doesn’t matter how many times I’ve been down there before, it never gets old. To see all of the Aggies do their pre-game swaying and cheer gave us chills. Yes, even this Alabama alum. The corps marching out was so neat to see and it’s what makes A&M unique, even if they do have swords on their field. During the game I made a new friend in the honorary captain of the game and Texans WR Uzoma Nwachukwu. He could not have been nicer and when I needed to use the restroom, it helps to have an Aggies legend with you, because then you get to go see the new locker room and all of the upgrades they’ve made.

After the game, I brought my new pal Uzoma back with me to TexAgs for pizza and to decide what the next move was. Everyone except Uzoma, or “The U” as I have now named him, decided on a late night house party and off we went to shoot fireworks and guns (because Texas), and recap how some of the guys managed to save an overly served fan’s life. The 12th man really is there when you need him. It was during this that one of the guys told me to tell Clay that we are doing the work of disciples, helping those lost in the midst of their workdays escape. Y’all, this was one of those a-ha moments that really puts life in perspective and makes me take pride in my job. Just saving you cube bunnies one dumb fan picture at a time.

All in all, I could not have asked for a better trip to College Station and will be back on TexAgs radio Thursday to talk about it. I will absolutely be attending another TAMU game, next weekend in fact. I’m returning the favor to my incredible tour guides and heading “home” to Tuscaloosa to watch the Tide probably find a new way to fumble the football and give me a panic attack. So 85%, I’m expecting big big things from y’all for our guests. Don’t let me down.

Written by Clay Travis

OutKick founder, host and author. He's presently banned from appearing on both CNN and ESPN because he’s too honest for both.