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CDC Issues Super Bowl Party Guidelines: No Cheering, Limit the Beers

If the host of your Super Bowl party is a CDC guideline-follower, either cancel plans or forget about cheering. No, really.

The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) issued newly-released guidelines that say Super Bowl party attendees should not cheer. “Avoid chanting or cheering. Stomp, clap, or bring hand-held noisemakers instead,” the CDC says. Got that? When Tom Brady throws his first touchdown, stomp your foot.

In addition to this rule, the CDC says you should limit your alcohol consumption, explaining that “consuming alcohol may make you less likely to follow COVID-19 safety measures alcohol consumption.”

One beer and a few claps. Fair enough?

Another interesting guideline says you should bring your own food. “Bring your own food, drinks, plates, cups, utensils, and condiment packets, if possible.” This does suck if your buddy promised you a nacho dip or has mastered his wing sauces. Remember: that one is just “if possible.”

Those who are truly looking to enjoy a Super Bowl party should have thought about all this months ago. By that, I mean getting on Gavin Newsom’s invite list. Newsom’s Super Bowl party could get wild.

At least you can use your hand-held noisemakers when the Bucs sack Patrick Mahomes. For that, thank the CDC.

Written by Bobby Burack

Bobby Burack covers any news story that deserves attention but focuses on media. His interests include reading Stephen King novels, avoiding traffic on the road, and pretending to solve true-crime mysteries. He still believes Cersei should've won and encourages everyone to always question the news.

14 Comments

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  1. Dr. Fraud-ci….ooops, I meant Fauci……says to wear 3 masks while watching the super bowl. Oh wait, now today, Dr. Fraud-ci……ooops, I pulled a Britney Spears and did it again….says if your healthy, there’s no need for any mask…..but wait, Dr. Fraud-ci….dang, did it again, my keyboard must have covid…Fauci says you have to wear a mask, goggle and hazmat suit.

    – Happy Super Bowl Sunday from Dr. Fraud-ci

  2. *I’ll be instructing my guests to snap their fingers or use jazz hands for celebrating.
    *We don’t need to worry about food, because we’re not serving any. If they need a drink, they can just grab some water with their own hands from the bathroom sink.
    *We’ll have TVs going in several different rooms, so that we can social distance, but masks are still required; face shields are optional.

    Sounds like a blast, right!?

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