Come Sunday there’s a good chance Super Bowl 46 will become the most watched television event in American history.
Many of you will be drinking.
Many of you will also be drinking heavily and Tweeting.
Just ask Colts owner Jim Irsay, that’s always a great idea.
With that in mind — thanks for the Tweet and email demands for a new drinking game you lushes — we’re off and running for Super Bowl drink. (Follow along during the game with the Twitter hashtag #superbowldrink
1. Every time Peyton Manning is mentioned or shown on television, drink.
Remember, there are actually three quarterbacks playing tomorrow.
2. When Al Michaels, the best announcer of his generation, utters a word that has an H, but the H is not pronounced drink.
The most common word you’ll notice this on is Houston. Since Houston is not playing, huge will probably be the most commonly mispronounced word.
Michaels: “This is a yewge game.”
3. Every time David Tyree’s catch in Super Bowl 42 is mentioned or a replay is shown, drink.
If David Tyree is shown in the crowd, finish your beer.
4. Every time an animal is the star of a Super Bowl commercial, drink.
If the animal is a honey badger, exclaim, “Oh. My. Goodness.” in honor of Verne Lundquist.
Then do a shot.
5. When the camera finds Gisele in a luxury suite, drink.
If you pause the television on your DVR to look closer at Gisele, drink anew.
If you don’t pause your DVR to look closer at Gisele, question your own heterosexuality.
6. Every time Rob Gronkowski’s high ankle sprain is discussed, drink.
If said discussion involves a slow-motion analysis of Gronkowski’s ankle mobility, drink again.
7. If the Manning family is shown awkwardly exchanging white man high fives after an Eli touchdown pass, finish your beer.
If the high five is accompanied by an awkward white man fist pump from Peyton, do a shot as well.
8. Thesis: Tom Brady is shown on the sideline more than any player ever.
Each time Brady is shown in a sideline reaction shot — even if he’s not reacting to anything — drink.
When a woman says, as she inevitably will, “You know he’s really hot. Not even athlete hot, like model hot,” everyone has to drink.
9. Be honest, when Bob Costas uses a word you can’t spell during one of his halftime soliloquies, drink.
If Costas uses the phrase, “rhythmic slap, slap, slapping,” you may regurgitate all alcohol thus far consumed.
10. Every time someone at your party points at Bill Belichick and asks, “Why does he have on a hoodie indoors?” drink.
The answer is simple, because Belichick will not be happy until his transformation into Emperor Palpatine is complete.
11. All networks promote their other shows during the Super Bowl, if a star or show is promoted who you have never heard of before, drink.
If it’s Whitney Cummings and she flashes her nipples, do two shots per visible nipple.
12. When the inevitable, New York vs. Boston sports rivalry graphic appears, drink.
If you root for a team from New York or Boston despite never having lived in either New York or Boston, your friends may assign you a shot of their choice at this time.
13. Each time Giants wide receiver Victor Cruz is described as being of Puerto Rican descent, drink.
If Cris Collinsworth attempts to salsa in the broadcast booth, finish your drink.
14. If Madonna has stronger looking arms than you, drink during the halftime show.
If there is disagreement on whether or not you have stronger looking arms than Madonna, your wife or girlfriend can decide.
If you have neither a wife nor a girlfriend then you definitely have weaker arms than Madonna. (But probably stronger forearms).
15. Every time Tim Tebow is mentioned, you must drink while Tebowing.
Yep, it’s Teboozing time.
For those of you who are in the Nashville area, you can come play #superbowldrink downtown in person at Rippy’s on Broadway.
We’ll have the 3HL crew and the entire upstairs reserved for a Super Bowl party.
And no matter where you are in the world, be sure to play along with the hashtag #superbowldrink