Strong Bones, Healthy Teeth, And Now Toronto Maple Leafs Brought To You By Milk

The Toronto Maple Leafs unveiled their new jersey sponsor and it's something most of us have in our refrigerators right now: milk.

So, technically, the Leafs' new jersey sponsor is Dairy Farmers of Ontario. They campaign to get people to consume more dairy products. Think the "Got Milk? ads of the late 1990s and early aughts. However, their slogan is "What can't milk do?"

This isn't a great slogan because we can all immediately think of a thousand things milk can't do.

It can't be used to powerwash your driveway. It's not a socially acceptable dinner party gift in place of a bottle of wine. It can't sit under your car seat for two weeks without going bad.

And so on, and so forth...

But you know what milk can do? It can grace an Original 6 teams sweater, dammit.

The Leafs' new patch will simply say "Milk" on both their home and away jerseys this season.

Jersey Ads Are Here Whether Fans Like It Or Not

Jersey sponsorships are now the reality in the National Hockey League, whether fans like it or not (a glance through some different parts of the internet indicates that, for the most part, they do not).

A little patch that says "Milk" is a long way from the NASCAR-looking uniforms seen over in Europe, but we'll get there at some point.

Thanks, Madison Avenue...

The Leafs join the Pittsburgh Penguins, Vegas Golden Knights, Arizona Coyotes, Columbus Blue Jackets, Minnesota Wild, Montreal Canadiens, St. Louis Blues, and Winnipeg Jets in adopting jersey sponsors.

According to ESPN, it's anticipated that most of the NHL's 32 teams will not have jersey sponsors this season.

The Leafs will start their 2022-23 season as one of the Stanley Cup favorites (which is preposterous, but that's for another time) and will open play against the Montreal Canadiens on Oct. 12.

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Matt is a University of Central Florida graduate and a long-suffering Philadelphia Flyers fan living in Orlando, Florida. He can usually be heard playing guitar, shoe-horning obscure quotes from The Simpsons into conversations, or giving dissertations to captive audiences on why Iron Maiden is the greatest band of all time.