As non-insane Americans, we hope that the little boy, Michael, who was left in tears after a far-Left Santa lectured him on Nerf guns, gets a toy gun for Christmas. We’re confident that his parents have taught him well and that he won’t shoot his eye out with Nerf darts.
“No toy guns,” the woke big guy demanded. His mother has since responded on Facebook:
My poor baby. This was the first year Michael was excited to go see Santa. It was supposed to be magical but instead I had to watch my sweet little boy fight back tears because Santa told him No because of his own personal beliefs. I had to think fast and explain to him that this Santa was just a helper and not the real guy. I just wanted to console my baby and get him out of there, flipping out on Santa would have only made it worse. His Elfie is going to bring him a Nerf gun directly from the North Pole, from the real Santa, tonight.
Luckily, The Blaze’s viral host Steven Crowder stepped in. On his YouTube page, which boasts a groundbreaking 5 million followers, Crowder dressed up as a Santa and spoke with Michael:
Crowder first apologized for the “unqualified helper,” ensuring he has “no association” with the “real” Santa.
“That’s not the real Santa!” Crowder hilariously explained. “He’s what your parents will teach you about when you get older. He’s what we call a Communist. We had to get rid of them at the North Pole!”
Awesome. A win for Michael. A win for Crowder. Another L for the miserable folks like that Santa, who probably did shoot himself in the eye with a Nerf gun when he was Michael’s age.
As always, get your kids Nerf guns for Christmas and enjoy time with your family while Woke Santa sits alone watching Chris Cuomo, Cari Champion, and Joy Reid on the DVR.