Steeplechase CatFight: Director's Cut

 Earlier today Outkick the Coverage brought you the Steeplechase catfight

Almost immediately, our servers buckled as you all rushed to view the video.

Since then y'all have inundated my Twitter feed with commentary. I don't remember the last time I laughed this much at your Tweets. Slowly, like a modern day version of the Hardy Boys and Nancy Drew put together, we've all put on our thinking caps to decipher this caper.  

First we found out that Vanderbilt center Joe Townsend, the heretofore anonymous man carrying a football as he broke up a catfight, was a hero. That's him pictured above via a Tweet sent to me from teammate Walker May -- "The catfight hero himself. Honored to be in his presence today."

Later we found out that a spontaneous USA chant had broken out, and that there appeared to a mysterious filmer who never moved as he leaned up against a truck in rolled up khakis boat shoes, the Steeplechase catfight's own mysterious grassy knoll.

Well, a few minutes ago the grassy knoller/truck leaner emailed.  

"Despite your observation I was quite comfortable posted up like captain Morgan on the truck," he wrote. 

He attached two film clips, which much like the discovery of the Rosetta Stone, completely expands and reimagines our comprehension of what we thought we knew.  

Now the Steeplechase catfight has the definitive director's cut that even Akira Kurosawa would be proud of. 

Behold, Nashville's own Rashomon.

The Steeplechase Cat Fight, director's edition.  

It appears that the pantieless combatant from the first video was initially a peacemaker. 

Until, like a tiger unleashed from a cage wearing cowboy boots, she suddenly storms the tent area. 

The hat toss is completely and totally absurd. 

And perfect for a Steeplechase catfight.

There are so many voices here it's hard to know exactly what's being said, but if someone breaks out the audio to this I feel like it would be exquisite, nearly as powerful as the first time Edison placed a phone call. Only featuring Southern girls wearing sundresses without underwear who are fighting at a charity horse race.  

So do we need to reassess our earlier beliefs from the first versions of the Steeplechase cat fight? 

Was the pink shirted man who was later punched three times actually breaking up the fight, or was he prolonging it? 

Were we too quick to cast aspersions upon our newest hero, the man who didn't move at all even as the catfight raged around him? While others clamored for his email address so they could have their own copy of his work of art, did he flinch? Did he buckle? Did he make any mistakes at all other than failing to turn his phone lengthwise?

No. 

It takes a crisis for heroes to emerge. 

And when the Nashville catfight needed heroes? 

We found them.

In spades.  

They came holding footballs in their right arms -- ball security! -- and wearing boat shoes leaning up against trucks.

Some people say those that stormed the beaches of Normandy and freed a continent from a mad man represent America's greatest generation.

I say -- hogwash.

Because this generation watched girls without underwear fight in sundresses at a charity horse race.

Beat that boys of Pointe du Hoc.   

...

The Steeplechase Cat Fight, Part One

(Props to commenter Richard Cox III, his real name, for being the first person to note that the truck leaning guy was filming all along.)

"Awkward leaning guy on the King Ranch truck is clearly videotaping the affair on his iPhone...you can't tell until the pink dress girl starts mumbling about her limo, and then he turns just the phone with his right hand to capture the interaction with the Fuzz."

What's next? One of the catfighters has now emailed to tell her side of the story.

Written by
Clay Travis is the founder of the fastest growing national multimedia platform, OutKick, that produces and distributes engaging content across sports and pop culture to millions of fans across the country. OutKick was created by Travis in 2011 and sold to the Fox Corporation in 2021. One of the most electrifying and outspoken personalities in the industry, Travis hosts OutKick The Show where he provides his unfiltered opinion on the most compelling headlines throughout sports, culture, and politics. He also makes regular appearances on FOX News Media as a contributor providing analysis on a variety of subjects ranging from sports news to the cultural landscape. Throughout the college football season, Travis is on Big Noon Kickoff for Fox Sports breaking down the game and the latest storylines. Additionally, Travis serves as a co-host of The Clay Travis and Buck Sexton Show, a three-hour conservative radio talk program syndicated across Premiere Networks radio stations nationwide. Previously, he launched OutKick The Coverage on Fox Sports Radio that included interviews and listener interactions and was on Fox Sports Bet for four years. Additionally, Travis started an iHeartRadio Original Podcast called Wins & Losses that featured in-depth conversations with the biggest names in sports. Travis is a graduate of George Washington University as well as Vanderbilt Law School. Based in Nashville, he is the author of Dixieland Delight, On Rocky Top, and Republicans Buy Sneakers Too.