Corey Feldman Appears To Murder Innocent Guitar Live On Stage

I don't know that there's anything in nature or science more perplexing than Corey Feldman's music career.

Seriously. Black holes, dark matter, and how time works; I think we have a better understanding of all of those than we do of how and why Corey Feldman is continuing to pursue a career in music with what certainly appears to be a complete lack of musical ability.  The man has more confidence than someone who studied at Berkley College of Music and knows musical inside out and backward.

It's awe-inspiring… and douche-chill-inducing.

I mean, who could forget hits like "Ascension Millennium" which he once performed at a State College Spikes minor league baseball game?

There's a part of me that thinks Feldman is pulling an Andy Kauffman on all of us, and I'm thinking that even more as the tour he's currently on with Limp Bizkit continues.

We knew Corey could (try) to sing. We knew he could (kind of) dance, but that wasn't enough for the Stand By Me star.

No. He said, "Give me that six-string and prepare to have your face melted… or more accurately, contorted into a Butt-Head-like expression of confusion and disgust."

That poor guitar got plucked off the wall at Guitar Center had no idea it was going to get pantsed and dragged around the high school track in front of a half-full amphitheater.

Corey Feldman may not even have the guitar chops of an 8-year-old who has taken one month of lessons, but he sure is confident. (Getty Images)

Corey Feldman Could Be The Most Bizarrely Confident Man On The Planet

Let's start with the positives. First, Corey has great taste in guitars. That's an EVH 5150 Deluxe which comes with a killswitch and a Floyd Rose tremolo with a special device called a D-Tuna on it (guitar dorks know what I'm talking about). It's a guitar built for shredding and made by EVH, which is the late Eddie Van Halen's guitar company. That model is a tip of the cap to the old Kramer guitars he played in the ‘80s but with some modern appointments. They’re awesome.

Although, had the legendary virtuoso been around to see this, he may have vetoed Corey's purchase. 

Secondly, Corey may not know how to play a single lick, but damn, he sure has the guitar faces down. I mean, if you put the video on mute and covered up the guitar you'd think, "Hey, that guy is good at playing guitar, or quite possibly has a fly that keeps landing on his face, but his hands are occupied so he can't bat it away and has to resort to exaggerated facial expressions to get it into leave him alone.

I do like at the end of the solo when Corey steps up to the mic and gives the crowd a hearty, "Thank you, very much."

That was classy as hell, because, if anything they should have been thanking him for having the sense to finally put that poor guitar out of its mercy and bring that shred-fest of his to a close.

Here's where my fascination kicks in: Corey Feldman told the professional musicians he hired to take a quick break while he attempts to play a minute-long guitar solo, despite quite clearly having no clue how to play guitar.

Can you imagine doing that?! That takes a quantity of unearned confidence that we mere mortals can't comprehend. 

Corey may be the most confident man on the planet, and I have to respect that.