Andy Reid Gets The Kansas City Royals Season Started With Sublime First Pitch

Happy MLB Opening Day everyone! 

Every year, I say to myself, "I'm going to follow baseball more closely this year."

Every year, I tumble off the wagon after about a week. There are just so many games it's hard to stay on top of it. They're like Marvel movies only slightly less woke. 

But do you know what I stay on top of? First pitches.

Ever since I threw out the first pitch at a Scranton Wilkes-Barre Red Barons game on my ninth birthday (I threw one pitch and the mascot for bargain outlet chain Ollie's threw the other… I wish that was a joke), I've loved first pitches.

The reason is, throwing out the first pitch is supposed to be a "Who cares?" fun thing, but there's a lot of pressure that comes with it.

You either wow the crowd like John Daly or become a GIF like 50 Cent:

The first major league first pitch of the year by my expert count (unless we count the one from Korean actress Jeon Jong-seo who had every Dodger contemplating risking it all. Va-va-voom!) belongs to the head coach of the back-to-back Super Bowl champion Kansas City Chiefs, Andy Reid (Va-va-voom!)

Reid strode out to the mound in a Kansas City Royals jersey ahead of the team's season opener against the Minnesota Twins with his walrus mustache on his lip and the Lombardi trophy in his hand; both of them glistening under the Missouri sun.

Picturesque.

Reid stood in front of the mound and lobbed a nice easy strike to George Brett who was behind the dish and dressed like the mayor from Jaws.

That was a more than respectable effort from Reid. It was nonchalant in the best way. 

Meanwhile, he was a real bro for not making Brett dig one out of the dirt in those nice pants of his. Also, if that pitch is a little outside, Brett was going to run the risk of ripping those pants, leaving him more red-faced than he was during the Pine Tar Incident.

We're off to a hot start on first pitches this year, let's keep it going.