Sport Never Dies

Videos by OutKick

By Loren Sanders

Today I bowled.

I traveled to the beach for work this week. Flight options kind of sucked for Friday, so the coworkers and I decided to have a fun afternoon at the beach.

Today, it’s 67 degrees and storming. Flash-flood-warning-storming.

So we bowled.
While the “Cha Cha Slide” and that catchy Hamster Dance song blared above my head, we bowled in lane 7. About two frames in, Earl came to bowl in lane 8. Earl, who is about three frames shy of 80 years old, and his wife Teresa set up shop next door to us.
Earl welcomed himself to lane 8 by kicking us off of his side of the shared table. He then proceeded to crack open his bowling backpack. The contents included his own black ball, which he proceeded to place on the rack beside our six neon balls, as well as his Dunlop bowling shoes, which looked incredibly similar to the old people white Rockports he was already sporting.
Teresa fetched her own community shoes and community neon orange ball. While she was off gallivanting through the arcade looking for a ball, Earl was stretching. The more I think about this, the more I begin to realize that this was probably necessary so Earl’s body didn’t fall apart in lane 8.
Earl wanted no part of our shenanigans in lane 7. Frankly, I was intimidated by Earl. In a completely straight-also-thirty-years-younger kind of way, Earl had some nice calves. He was definitely an athlete in his day.
Anyway, after stretching for the better part of 5 minutes, Earl and Teresa began bowling. He wasn’t spinning the ball PBA style (mostly because I think that any torque on a radius and ulna that old would result in a cloud of bone that resembled LeBron James pregame powder throw), but Earl was serious.
While our group of young professionals struggled to crack triple digits in lane 7, lane 8 was humming along at machine status. Their first game served one of two purposes: it was either a warm-up for Earl or a participation trophy for Teresa.
By the time we had reached frame 8, Earl was paying for a new game for him and Teresa. I’m not sure whose idea it was, but Teresa did not end up playing in game two.  What came next was, put simply, Earl kicking arthritis in the balls.
Bowling for two, the man was unfazed by the “Cupid Shuffle” and proceeded to smoke all 6 of the twenty-somethings in lane 7. We might not have known it was a competition, but Earl and “Teresa” crushed us. Ball game.
When it was all over, Teresa smiled at us and walked out. Earl? Well, Earl packed up his ball, put his white Rockports back on, and headed for the exit. Another day, another few hundred pins.

Written by Clay Travis

Clay Travis is the founder of the fastest growing national multimedia platform, OutKick, that produces and distributes engaging content across sports and pop culture to millions of fans across the country. OutKick was created by Travis in 2011 and sold to the Fox Corporation in 2021.

One of the most electrifying and outspoken personalities in the industry, Travis hosts OutKick The Show where he provides his unfiltered opinion on the most compelling headlines throughout sports, culture, and politics. He also makes regular appearances on FOX News Media as a contributor providing analysis on a variety of subjects ranging from sports news to the cultural landscape. Throughout the college football season, Travis is on Big Noon Kickoff for Fox Sports breaking down the game and the latest storylines.

Additionally, Travis serves as a co-host of The Clay Travis and Buck Sexton Show, a three-hour conservative radio talk program syndicated across Premiere Networks radio stations nationwide.

Previously, he launched OutKick The Coverage on Fox Sports Radio that included interviews and listener interactions and was on Fox Sports Bet for four years. Additionally, Travis started an iHeartRadio Original Podcast called Wins & Losses that featured in-depth conversations with the biggest names in sports.

Travis is a graduate of George Washington University as well as Vanderbilt Law School. Based in Nashville, he is the author of Dixieland Delight, On Rocky Top, and Republicans Buy Sneakers Too.