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Friday night I’m making my 9U managerial debut

My initial plan to be a full-time assistant baseball coach this season in the 9U division didn’t end up happening as planned as a head coach I planned to work with dropped down to coach his son’s 8U team and then with OutKick going through corporate restructuring, I thought it would be best to pump the brakes to make sure there wasn’t interference with my home life.

I’ve just been a baseball dad the last month sitting in my chair watching the kids get out to a 5-3 record, I think.

Saturday, after a practice, I was told by the coach, who does a tremendous job by the way, that he and the assistant would be out of town and they would have to cancel this Friday’s game if parents didn’t take over.

And he looked right into my eyes. Straight into my soul. My son’s standing there encouraging me to take over the responsibilities.

The choice was simple: I’ll do it. Are you kidding me? I’m not going to allow these kids to have a game canceled because I refused to help out. That’s some lower mentality stuff.

The mission is simple Friday night: FUN. We’ve all had a long week. Work has been kicking all of our asses. Many of the kids have been at STEM camp or some other camp their parents shipped them off to. The weather hasn’t been great.

We’re going to go out there and remember how many outs we have, what we’re going to do if the ball is hit my way and understand that the strike zone is expanded by the 15-year-old kid behind home plate.

Get up there, crush, run, slide, listen to the coaches. Win or lose, we’re going to have fun doing it. Low to no stress.

I just have to remember to hit the ATM to pay off the concession stand and bounties for great plays.

Anything I’m missing?


On Deshaun Watson and my ‘Horniest Massage Therapy Client Ever’ headline

• Chris B. in Houston writes:

What a great headline!

It’s funny how the media is trying to incriminate the Texans in this whole Deshaun Watson mess.  The organization has done plenty of dumb things, thats for sure, but giving their star QB a membership at a nice local club is not a big deal at all and I suspect many other professional sports organizations have done this for many of their players.  As a member at a nice club, what he did there is not on the Texans.  A single man booking suites at his club’s hotel, and having guests join him in his suite, surely is very customary.  What he apparently did in the privacy of those suites sounds wrong, but that’s on him.  

As for the Texans providing him with an NDA agreement, I suspect it is very common for all professional sports organizations to provide legal assistance / documents for their players.  They also provided him with presumably legitimate masseuses, but they could not tell him that he could not get other massages.

Sports story for the ages

• BT in Michigan writes:

If you’re looking for weird / fun fan stories to rehash for Outkick, suggest you look at two Univ of Michigan Hockey games from the early 2000s when the team was featuring a roster of future NHL all-stars and the fan base was the most rabid college fan base in a rickety old brick indoor track building converted into an ice arena…. 2002– “The Molly Game” in which a skating cheerleader remotely taunted an out of state hockey fanbase through a newspaper article that resulted in one of the greatest college hockey games ever from a play standpoint, and included a pre-game fight between a costumed skating mascot and a future Navy Seal-moonlighting-as-a-college-hockey-goon. 

2003’s NCAA regionals where a UM team got to host a regional on campus as a #3 seed, then beat the #2 seed Maine and the #1 seed Colorado College in consecutive nail biter games with controversies such as Colorado College kicking Michigan out of their lockers rooms since they were the #1 seed, a rumored buried lucky coin at center ice, and legitimate structural damage caused by volume of fan screaming to an arena. This is literally the weekend that caused the NCAA to move NCAA hockey regionals out of campus ice rinks due to “unfair advantage” due to crowd support. 

BT adds:

Reading screencaps this morning and seeing the Phil Mickelson photo, one thought immedaitely came into my mind…

WE HAVE GONE FULL EVIL MIRROR UNIVERSE / NWO PHIL. Goatee, black leather outfit, LIV vs. PGA. Waiting for the heavy handed trumpet music or screeching guitar music to start as Phil start going full heel in his walk up to tee #1.Waiting for 2-3 years from now when Phil makes his triumphant red n gold babyface return to the Senior PGA tour.  

Pics of Life

• Beau in Toledo asked to see daily life this summer from Screencaps readers, so here you go.

Eddie from Acworth writes from up 30A from Panama Beach:

A little respite for me and the fam at Rosemary Beach. Oh and the Dawgs are still national champions.

Near disaster

• Matt B., who appears to have been mowing on an off-night, writes:

Well we may have taken an aggressive line here during TNML??? looking for a bounce back performance. Keep calm and mow on!

Trimmer update – ‘Holy s–t’

• Beau in Toledo writes:

Had to update yesterday’s “well, poop” email, but mainly because it turned into this “Holy Sh*t!” email, and I feel it’s my duty to inform League Fam of this matter. It could be a money saving tip for the Guys and Gals (yeah, um, shut it lib-libs…show me the deoxyribonucleic acid test that shows the other, what are we up to now, 64 genders?!?) who work on their own gear. *Tips a beer in Pop’s direction, who laughed when I stole his tools to take apart my Tonka truck when I was 5*     **NEW SEGMENT: BEST DAD ADVICE!!**

Father’s Day is close… This could be an all-year long thing!  

“Figure it out”… and then He’d give me hints along the way, and Thank You Lord, He still does.

Back to the lecture at hand… The spark plug change on the trimmer was a warranted swap, but unfortunately did not fix the problem.  Dad taught me how to keep looking for the problem “upstream”.  I made a call to Mike, the @stihlusa certified tech at Howard T. Moriarty in Toledo, and described the issue.           

His answer was 3 simple words.  Spark Arrestor Screen.  Never heard of it before, but when he explained it, it made sense… any sparks that might come out of the combustion chamber during use will be blocked at the muffler by that screen (prevents grass fires and stuff), which is on most 2-stroke equipment.  Problem is, with 2-strokes, that screen gets clogged after long use. Think bananas and Eddie Murphy in BEVERLY HILLS COP.

Got said screen out, used a small torch and wire brush to clean it(Mike said so), and when I partially pulled the rope to realign the recoil face with the motor during reassembly, the FS 50C, and here’s the Holy Sh*T part, unexpectedly fired right up and ran like it was brand frickin’ new!      Mike saved me a boatload of money… calling him tomorrow to find out his favorite beer and delivering it to him personally, work rules be damned.     

Yup, just found out where that screen is at on my leaf blower and gonna tackle that this week as well.     Which reminds me… a mention on which order do Y’all do #TNML work…     Trim, Edge, Push whatever clippings back into the still uncut yard with the leaf blower, then bag clippings for compost(or mulch back into the yard with the @TheToroCopany #PersonalPace rig), and another run with the leaf blower for any strays if needed is how I roll.

{Rant after I paid $5.09 a gallon today}           

And for the “ultra anti-oil hippie” battery boys who I know are going to try to roast my needing to repair my #GasGear (not seeing many of them reading this article, though), I’ve attached some pics of lithium mines.  Also note that big trucks with big tires supporting big steel frameworks, as well as many plastic parts, all processed with and run on oil, are used to dig YUUUUGE holes in the Planet to support chi-comm lithium battery factories.  And hey, Kalifornians(who’s limiting water usage after shutting down a bigly desalination plant), look up the amount of water used to process the soil dug up to separate said lithium in the brine… be careful when you whine about your next forest fire.     Note: I employ both energy sources in my work and home Life where the benefits are most advantageous, so do not think me a hater. 

Not gonna go There’s Beans in Chili on this one (hey, didn’t Texas get their ass kicked by a freak snowstorm that shut down “renewable” energy there??  Yeah, um, shut it fake-texas libs… #RealTexansLivesMatter).     I do my best with what I can to conserve, up-cycle, and recycle, (any readers got vertical wind turbines?? i REALLY want one or 3), but damn.  Even commercials are trying to force me into this battery-only craze…batteries are ok for my #SurvivorStreamlight and the rail mount light on my .40 Springfield Armory ( , but unless I buy a bunch of forklift batteries and/or go all The Walking Dead! Zombie 222 Electric Mustang Tears Up Quarter Mile ( on the #FrankenMower, gas is better! 

Be Safe and Have a Great League Night!

I think the mowing strategy thing was covered quite well here:

That should do it for this morning. Before we go, I do need to mention that I’m happy to hear that areas around my hometown are OK after tornadoes rolled through last night. I’ve never seen so many crystal clear tornado videos posted by friends and family on Facebook in my life. It was like everyone on that app from back home had a clear footage.

Stay safe out there and let’s go attack the day.


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Written by Joe Kinsey

Joe Kinsey is the Senior Director of Content of OutKick and the editor of the Morning Screencaps column that examines a variety of stories taking place in real America.

Kinsey is also the founder of OutKick’s Thursday Night Mowing League, America’s largest virtual mowing league.

Kinsey graduated from University of Toledo.


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  1. Steve Kerr is softer than baby sheep’s wool. And you know what they say, “a team takes on their coach’s personality.” You can’t have Draymond out here kicking people in the dick and leading the league in techs (mostly due to language), then complain about language. Not to mention Kerr’s pearl clutching every time something happens in the world. Google “Steve Kerr cursing” and see how many results you get. Typical hypocritical super Lib. He’s making it hard to root for what used to be the most fun team in the league.

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