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The ultimate ‘I need a recovery beer’ story
I asked for your “I need a recovery beer” stories and it didn’t take long before a reader fired off a story I wasn’t expecting. Let’s dig in.
• Anonymous writes:
Truth bomb right here – I got out of Fed prison a few months ago. I needed a recovery beer…
To expand, I have been an OutKick reader for a long time. Have quite a few shirts (all high quality I might add!). When I was released a family member met me out front with a bag that had a change of clothes. I had packed it prior to my self-surrender for them to bring and packed the t-shirt I wanted to wear out of that place – it was my “Aloha Bitches” OutKick shirt. People who know me would not be surprised at all.
Once out, I had about a two-hour drive home. I was riding shotgun so I used the time to call my daughter and then my best friend. Then I downloaded the most recent Adam Carolla podcast, and got on the OutKick website to read the latest SC post.
The family member who picked me up knew to bring a cooler. And in the cooler was some Coke Zero (my fav), but I bypassed that for the treasure that was a 16oz, ice cold, glorious Busch Light. Sure, it was only 9am, but after 12 months, it was the ultimate recovery beer.
During my time down, I was a two-time passenger on the airline known as Con Air (it’s not at all like the movie – then again, I think we all knew that). I spent 14 days in quarantine with three other guys in a room with just one toilet in the middle with no door, and we were in there 23 hrs a day. Also spent 21 days in a tiny cell in quarantine with one other guy, except this one was 24 hours a day.
I have seen, heard, smelled, tasted, and touched things during that time that were less than ideal. If you ever watched “Orange is the New Black” then you can see how prison changed Piper. Some say for the better, some say for the worse. I’ll say that life is now just…different. My perspective on most things has changed for the better. Things that used to annoy me before prison seem so so so small in comparison.
With all that said – that was one helluva recovery beer.
Needless to say, I wasn’t expecting the very first recovery beer story to be from a federal prisoner getting out of the joint and sucking down a Busch Light, but as a content guy, I’m here for the stories.
Now I’m intrigued to have a reader on email speed dial to provide details on life inside the federal joints, especially since the prisoner is freshly out of the system.
Ever wanted to ask a federal prisoner a question? Fire away.
First up: Who gets to decide which football game is on the federal prison TV?
OHIO….YOU CAN START GAMBLING LEGALLY SUNDAY MORNING AT MIDNIGHT!
Clint from the OutKick Gambling Department sent a Slack message my way Wednesday as a heads up for those of you (us) in Ohio who are ready to start gambling on sports when the regulators flip the switch New Year’s morning.
Listen, if you’re going to gamble in Ohio, you might as well get the best offer I’ve seen and I’ve seen all of them because the gambling companies won’t stop advertising at me because I have an Ohio IP address.
• Clint writes:
Attention Ohio sports fans! Are you tired of sitting on the sidelines while everyone else is raking in the cash from sports betting? Well, wait no more, because PointsBet is launching in Ohio on January 1st! In fact, as a special welcome gift, they’re giving all new users up to $700 in bet credits just for signing up. That’s right, just create an account and boom – instant riches (or at least the chance to win some). So why wait? Sign up with PointsBet today and start living your best betting life.
Click this link right here!
Gauntlet last-place punishment help needed
• Nate W. writes:
First-time emailer, long-time reader.
We had our first Gauntlet league this year and it was a smashing success! Thank you and the original Screencapser for suggesting it.
The strength of the Gauntlet is it’s simplicity, however; I seem to recall an email or two where some leagues spiced things up (e.g. punishments for last place, etc.). Any help would be appreciated from you or the hive mind.
Thank you for all your hard work on this and other columns.
Merry Christmas and Happy New Years to you and your family.
What do you guys have for Nate? How should Nate’s league punish the owner who put together a terrible season picking four teams?
Southwest Airlines debacle
The email inbox lit up over this topic and I have a feeling we’re going to see plenty of emails as people get home, get some sleep, get three showers and sit down at a computer to jot down their emotions.
• First up, let’s hear from Anonymous from inside the company:
I really hope you look more into the Southwest embarrassment than just what the lib libs are saying. While the one guy who responded was not wrong about what he was saying, that is not the whole story of what happened in this situation. What he said was correct about most winter storms. Not a big deal. We deal with this every year with the snow, thunderstorms, hurricanes, tornados….insert any kind of weather. We just call that Tuesday.
What happened in this situation is just like any company that cares only about profits. When Herb left (some say forced out), our company took a turn, and the bean counter Gary Kelly took over. Before him, SWA was a great place to work. Everyone loved their job and knew the company had our backs.
We did what was right and did our damnedest to take care of our customers. Slowly over time, Gary just took all of that away. Short staff, “state of emergencies”, and, most importantly, keeping money in the shareholder’s pockets and not investing in our IT department.
And since they didn’t, this last week SWA had no idea where all their pilots and flight attendants were. Our own flight crews were left without hotels. Then, just like the public, when they called in to report, they were left on hold for hours on end. All of this lands squarely on Gary’s shoulders and his actions over the last 15 years. Bob Jordan will be the scapegoat in all of this but, this is all Gary’s doing. Not saying Bob is innocent. But, he’s just taking one spoonful at a time of the shit he was handed.
Look up SWAPA’s website. (Southwest Airlines Pilots Association) They posted where a 35-year pilot put it much more eloquently than I can. I’ve been at SWA for 21 years. 5 of which was as an elected union official and board member for TWU 555.
We represent the over 15,000 members that load your bags, take your boarding pass, accept the cargo, and most of all put the alcohol on the planes. I dealt with the shortcomings of SWA upper management and their scare tactics towards their employees on a daily basis.
With the Union stuff behind me, I still think I can speak for the front-line employees when I say, deep down we want our once-renowned airline back. We want to take care of our customers. But we would also like for our current board of directors and upper management to go back and study what our great founder Herb did to make our company what it once was.
I’ve only emailed you once before about some firearms stuff. I send you this email not to be posted with any kind of identifying information. What SWA means with their “LUV” bullshit in today’s world is, we LUV you until you give us a reason to fire you.
That’s why so many of our employees won’t speak out. I could tell you story after story of all the terminations SWA had over some petty bullshit that threatened their “brand”. Unfortunately, SWA has become a paycheck for the majority of our front-line people. Again, I speak for most of us, we are truly embarrassed by this last week and what our airline has become.
Saw someone on #Twitter say if you find bags at baggage claim off to the side, see if they have a phone number on them. Then text the number and let them know where their bag is.— Patrick Faerber (@PatrickFaerber) December 28, 2022
I got ~5 texts out before getting my bags. Looks like it helped someone! @ATLairport @SouthwestAir pic.twitter.com/7pgfxaPbwN
• Now let’s hear from Taters O’B, a great military member of the Screencaps community, who is caught up in the Southwest mess.
Merry Christmas and Happy New Year fearless leader! My family and I are in the middle of the Southwest Apocalypse so I thought I would relay our experience and observations from the front lines. We are from Tulsa and all the grandparents still live in the area. Since we are military we usually only make a trip at Christmas and in the summer.
We live about 45 minutes east of Palm Springs in the high desert and our original plan was to fly out of Palm Springs to Tulsa via Las Vegas. Monday afternoon, the day before our flight, our flight from Palm Springs to Vegas was canceled.
Wife and I continue packing and start calling Southwest. She spent 6.5 hours on hold and finally gave up. I called the rewards number line and was on hold for 3.5 hours before finally talking to a very nice lady with a very hoarse voice who had been working non-stop all day. Not much she could do for us so we made a new plan.
Since we are less than 4 hours from Vegas we decided we would leave early and drive to the airport to catch our connection, which was still showing “on time”. Slept a few hours, got up early on Tuesday and hit the road. Made it to the airport, got checked in, and went to the gate. All was still good.
There was an eerie sense of optimism at the gate, people were friendly and even joking with the gate agents. Fast forward about 4 hours, 12 announcements and numerous highs and lows….. canceled. Canceled because we were one flight attendant short. We had pilots, and we had a couple of flight attendants but still canceled. Pandemonium ensues.
My girls are 7 & 9, tears are flowing. My wife is 40 and she is trying to hold back the tears. We already know Southwest has stopped rebooking for the rest of the week in order to get back on track. I jump in line to talk to an agent. She gets us on the standby list for the same flight the following day.
Having crying kids next to me might have helped. So now we can stay in Vegas or drive home just to turn around and drive back. I’m no dummy. Vegas it is.
Wife gets us adjoining rooms at The Venetian which I’m sure Southwest will be all too happy to reimburse us for. Now I’ve never been to Vegas and I certainly didn’t expect to make my first trip with my children. But we make the best of it. We walked all over the giant ass mall they call the “Grand Shoppes” or something.
Decided to ride the outdoor gondola, it cost $156 for the four of us! Shortly before our gondola ride it starts to rain…..in Las Vegas, WTF?! Got my money back thankfully. So we ate dinner in one of the food courts and called it a night. Not the ideal first Vegas experience but credit to my wife and kiddos for being troopers.
We got up this morning, Wednesday, repacked our bags so we could stuff as much in our carry-on and backpacks as possible in case our bags go to Tulsa but we don’t get ticketed. I put on my green “Mow Like a Champion Today” shirt for luck.
Get to the airport, we are now on the shortlist for standby, numbers 2-5. Hope is building. Get thru TSA, but my wife forgot to empty her water bottle. So she is escorted back thru security by a TSA agent just in case she is a Nordic goddess-looking terrorist.
Finally make it to our gate. Go up to the gate agent and politely ask about our status, she says she just called our names and hands me four boarding passes. Pandemonium ensues. My daughters scream with joy. I look over my shoulder to make sure TSA isn’t coming to tackle us.
The next 30 minutes are spent in agony waiting to be told that we were delayed and/or canceled.
However, I am happy to report that I am currently writing this email from seat 12C on our flight to Tulsa! It was truly a roller coaster and quite an adventure. While stressful for us, it doesn’t compare to the thousands of folks who got stranded away from home and have long days ahead of them.
Hopefully, this story brought a small bit of levity to the conversation, after all, that’s what Screencaps does. It helps us find joy in the small things and recognize what we have in common. Love what we have here and love starting my day with Screencaps.
Best of luck to any Screencappers struggling with the airlines.
Happy New Year to all and looking forward to a fantastic 2023 for this community!
ESPN college football announcers
• John in SD is back and he’s fired up over ESPN’s announcers — again!
Sorry to beat a dead horse; here we go again, espin announcers compared a triple OT (Auto Zone) Liberty Bowl, Kansas/Arkansas, game to the World Cup penalty kick shootout. Tongue in cheek, not so sure, but a horrible comparison. I’m not a soccer fan, but comparing a somewhat “meaningless” bowl game to the world’s biggest sporting event is pretty poor.
At least we had the best college, if not football, duo calling the Oregon/UNC game with Joel Klatt and Gus Johnson. Great game!
Lane Kiffin out coached himself, 1 and 6 on fourth down conversions. sec, it just means less: 1-3 in bowl games so far! Ole Miss played hard through the finish, so congratulations to them. RIP Mike Leach; having Leach and Kiffin in the same conference and press conferences was setting up a legendary time in CFB.
Great bowl season so far with very good matchups. Are there too many bowl games? I don’t know, but I enjoy the opportunity to watch them. My biggest questions are the attendance and viewership numbers. Is this sustainable when some games have less than 5-10 thousand in attendance? Can a Screencaps reader explain the economics?
Happy early New Year. Keep up the great content during the peak Labor Day to Super Bowl period.
The difference in announcers between the Liberty Bowl and Holiday Bowl was astounding. Fox’s 1 crew isn’t within a light year of ESPN’s 5 or 6 crew (although I expect Mullen to be a top guy for ESPN very soon)— NoleHoopsAuthority (@HoopsNole) December 29, 2022
Greatest bands list snubs
• Jason DeM. in Michigan writes:
I can’t believe the snub that Fleetwood Mac is getting. Any 70’s/80’s/90’s greatest band list has to include them, right?
Also, how long until we get a biopic ala Bohemian Rhapsody and Rocketman on Fleetwood Mac? The drama surrounding this band in the making of “Rumours” alone would make for one hell of a movie.
Stevie Nicks and Lindsey Buckingham basically writing “eff you” songs to each other that they have to sing live in concert? Amazing.
Keep up the great work, 5 more months until Midwest patio season resumes!
Christopher Columbus is still a hero in Barcelona
• Mike T. reports on Cindy T.’s adventures in Barcelona. Remember, Mike T. is in France while Cindy T. gets out and about this winter to see some things while Mike T.’s at home chilling out drinking beer and watching sports (I think):
They still love Columbus in Spain!
Cindy T. also spotted Clay’s yacht, via that OutKick money, in Barcelona:
QVC’s Battery Daddy has upgrades
And that’s it for the final Thursday of 2022. Let’s get after it today. I’m sure there are a bunch of bowl games on TV. The wife is taking the kids out to the science center. We’re going to the Globetrotters later tonight. It’s going to be a full day around here.
Have a great one and go give 110% at whatever you have planned, including those of you crushing Keno and beers.
Numbers from :
The @DetroitRedWings are the first NHL team to be down 4-0 (or worse) after one period on the road and yet come back to win since the Flames did so at Toronto on January 26, 1987 (down 5-0, won 6-5 in OT).— OptaSTATS (@OptaSTATS) December 29, 2022
Stuff You Guys Sent In & Stuff I Like:
I had my chance and I took it #gobirds♬ original sound – Sigs Inside
Days between Tom Brady being Born & Being Drafted in the NFL: 8,292— Greg Harvey (@BetweenTheNums) December 28, 2022
Days between Tom Brady Being Drafted in the NFL & Today (Including Today): 8,292
Tom Brady has now been a part of the NFL for 50% of his entire lifetime ‼️
Congrats to the 🐐 @TomBrady pic.twitter.com/wd7F3NaoCU
our king 👑 pic.twitter.com/bRSyagw9qQ— Los Angeles Chargers (@chargers) December 28, 2022
Will this change in the next two weeks ❓ pic.twitter.com/cUcxX70g8X— NFL (@NFL) December 27, 2022
We just did a rendition of Take Me Out To The “Bowl” Game here at the @HolidayBowl midway thru the 3rd quarter. @PetcoPark is a baseball stadium after all & we’re right around the equivalent of the 7th inning stretch time ⚾️ pic.twitter.com/Y6faAzL7nu— CFBcampustour (@CFBcampustour) December 29, 2022
Listen,we know everyone has strong opinions about football games in baseball stadiums, but 🤩🤩🤩 pic.twitter.com/K3mT6RrXCV— SDCCU Holiday Bowl (@HolidayBowl) December 28, 2022
lost 5 of final 6 🔥🔥🔥— Bulldog Banter (@HailState4U) December 29, 2022
lost egg bowl 🔥🔥
embarrassed in bowl game 🔥 pic.twitter.com/GabtN7q3XP
thinking about him pic.twitter.com/SGeW5LdcmZ— no context college football (@nocontextcfb) December 29, 2022
Final sale price: $54,000 🥊— Goldin (@GoldinCo) December 29, 2022
Email firstname.lastname@example.org to consign your sealed video games for our upcoming auctions. 🤝 pic.twitter.com/9WKD260Sme
Final sale price: $13,200 💸 pic.twitter.com/wnG4oNg0AR— Goldin (@GoldinCo) December 29, 2022
Final sale price: $36,000 💸 https://t.co/pVRi0p4Fws— Goldin (@GoldinCo) December 29, 2022
Final sale price for this 1983 Jaws Factory-Sealed First Print VHS Tape: $11,852 💸— Goldin (@GoldinCo) December 29, 2022
Email email@example.com to consign your sealed VHS Tapes. 🤝📼 pic.twitter.com/aeI6Tul5Nr
Ever wondered where your luggage goes when it’s lost…?— Aviation (@ilove_aviation) December 28, 2022
📹: adventuresofcnelly pic.twitter.com/wCE6VJxF9F
Ozcar, a CBP AG K-9 in Chicago, alerted to a passenger’s bag who gave a negative verbal declaration & said she did not know what was in 2 of the bags because they belonged to her sister who was not traveling with her. CBP found 9lbs of beef and 4lbs of cow skin were discovered. pic.twitter.com/WzPwV56c85— CBP Chicago (@CBPChicago) December 28, 2022
Around 10 pm, Tuesday, #NDHP was dispatched to Fargo's Main Ave/I94 ramp due to a small dog running into traffic. With the help of an @NDDOTFargo plow driver, the dog was caught and given a ride to the Fargo PD pound, 3210 Main Ave. Hope the pup's owner can pick him up soon! pic.twitter.com/6rqahTJyCD— North Dakota Highway Patrol (@NDHighwayPatrol) December 28, 2022
Training the crew on steaks – they get to eat their homework. They did well. pic.twitter.com/kqmCqhjmIX— Chef Andrew Gruel (@ChefGruel) December 29, 2022