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Holy cow, it’s Tuesday again? Already?!
Well, you know what that means. I take the reins at Nightcaps and you have to wait until tomorrow for more screenshots of Instagram models.
But I know you love me for my personality.
So I’m filling you in on everything you need to know today. The cast of Ted Lasso went to the White House, and things got awkward. Joe Biden is now an ancient Iranian historian. Twitter is almost a legal adult, and your new favorite sport is making a comeback!
That’s great news if your team is already out of the NCAA Tournament. And let’s be real: We’ve all Nancy Pelosi-ed our brackets by now.
So grab yourself an adult beverage, kick back and tell your boss to shove it. It’s Nightcaps time.
(Don’t actually tell your boss to shove it. Eggs are $7 — you need a job.)
Slamball Is Back, Baby!
After more than 20 years, the world’s most entertaining sport is making a comeback!
For you youngins who don’t know, slamball is what happens when you mix basketball with football and play it on a trampoline. Just full contact, crazy-energy, high-flying madness.
Here’s a taste.
A fella named Mason Gordon originally started Slamball in 2002, and it ran for a couple seasons on Spike TV. For context, this is around the same time Spike TV also had “The Man Show,” which featured a regular segment where girls jumped on trampolines.
Now that I’m thinking about it, I guess Spike really had a thing for trampolines.
Anyway, they tried to bring back Slamball a few years later, but it didn’t really stick.
This time, though, they’ve raked up some big-money investors. To name a few: David Adelman (co-owner of the Philadelphia 76ers and New Jersey Devils), Michael Rubin (CEO of Fanatics) and NBA superstar Blake Griffin.
Gordon is also partnering with producer Mike Tollin — who most recently helped creates ESPN’s “The Last Dance” and “The Captain” — for a docuseries on the sport.
So get ready, kids. Slamball is about to take the country by storm! And it’s here to stay this time. As the great Coach Ted Lasso says, you just have to believe.
‘Ted Lasso’ Cast Visits White House And Chaos Ensues.
Speaking of “Ted Lasso,” what on God’s green earth was happening at the White House yesterday?
First, the cast of the massively popular Apple TV show piles into the press briefing room to stand behind Press Secretary Karine Jean-Pierre. Why? I do not know.
And apparently the reporters didn’t either.
That’s when all hell broke loose. Simon Ateba went nuclear on Jean-Pierre, telling her she was “making a mockery of the First Amendment” and she never takes his questions.
Roll the tape.
Spoilers incoming. Although if you haven’t watched “Ted Lasso” by now, are you really going to?
For the record, I’m not hating on “Lasso.” I, too, enjoyed the show at first.
But they kind of lost me when the 21-year-old star player started dating the TEAM OWNER. In the real world (and with genders reversed), that’s the kind of thing that gets a Celtics head coach suspended.
I digress — The shouting match between KJP and reporters while the TV stars awkwardly looked on was hilarious. But it just goes to show you how utterly tone deaf this White House is.
We like to keep things light here at Nightcaps, so I won’t get into the depressing details. But with everything going on in the country right now, who was the person that was like, “I got it! Let’s bring in Jason Sudeikis!”
Which, come to think of it, is kind of the entire plot of “Ted Lasso.” Just replace the United States with a soccer team.
OK, actually the visit makes perfect sense now.
Joe Biden Is a ‘Student’ Of The Persian Culture.
On the theme of the White House clown show, Joe Biden dropped another gem for us yesterday.
During Monday’s celebration of the Persian New Year, the pandering old coot really wanted to let us know that he thinks “the Persian culture is amazing.”
“As a student of Persian culture,” he said, “Not as a practitioner, but as a student, it’s incredible where the world is and where the world would have been without the Persian culture. I really mean it.”
I’m sure you do, Joe.
Aside from the fact that I am 400% certain Joe Biden can’t find Iran on a map, I really wish someone had asked him — specifically — what he adores about the Persian culture.
Jill probably told him they have nice rugs.
I, too, am a student of the Persian culture. As in, I Googled them just now.
Did you know these ancient Iranians invented the first refrigerator in 400 BC? It was called a Yakhchal and allowed them to store ice for long periods of time in the desert.
See, we’re educational here at Nightcaps, too.
So if you’re keeping track, Joe Biden is Irish, Black, Jewish, Puerto Rican, and now even Persian.
Truly our most diverse president of all time.
Happy Birthday, Twitter!
Head on over to your Yakhchal and grab another Miller Lite, y’all. It’s time to celebrate!
On March 21, 2006 — 17 years ago today for my mathematically challenged friends — Twitter founder Jack Dorsey sent out the very first tweet.
“just setting up my twttr”
And here we all were just dicking around on MySpace with no idea of the monster he had just created.
Now, we have a worldwide forum where we can all come together to discuss politics and culture. We have an accessible outlet for the free exchange of knowledge and ideas. We have a real-time source of information where we can broaden our horizons and learn new things every day.
And it’s a led by a genius visionary who will take us above and beyond what we ever though possible at the platform’s inception 17 years ago.
Just kidding, Twitter’s a shit show. And that’s why we love it.
Speaking of — Are you following me on Twitter yet? Tweet me at @TheAmberHarding and tell me what I should discuss in next week’s Nightcaps. Or email me at Amber.Harding@outkick.com if you’re old school.
OutKick Nightcaps is a daily column set to run Monday through Friday at 4 p.m.