Sex Toy Rocks Competitive Chess World

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There’s an unusual buzz surrounding the world of competitive chess. And sex toys may be to blame.

Earlier this month, 19-year-old American Hans Niemann upset Magnus Carlsen at the Sinquefield Cup, in St. Louis. The Sinquefield Cup is an invitational tournament on the World Chess Tour (as if you didn’t already know).

Niemann’s upset win was as shocking as they come. Think Buster Douglas KO-ing prime Mike Tyson.

Carlsen, a Norwegian, is a grandmaster and five-time World Chess Champion. Niemann was ranked 49th worldwide and Carlsen first, according to the International Chess Federation ratings. Prior to the Sinquefield Cup, Carlsen had a 53-game winning streak.

And now, some are speculating that Niemann received more than just a good luck kick in the pants prior to the match.

Vibrating anal beads to be exact.

Anal Beads And Chess – Who Said Date Night Was Boring?

Pro Gamer “@Babble” was amongst the first to suggest that Niemann may have had the seemingly uncomfortable assistance of anal beads to aid his upset. Speculation online proposes the idea that the anal beads in question (who thought I’d ever write that sentence and not work for HUSTLER?) could have been used to send Niemann messages about moves.

The sex toy was alleged to be controlled by someone other than Niemann and signaled to vibrate when a particular move should or should not be made. And just like that, the world of competitive chess and sex toys meet.

Hans Niemann
Hans Niemann. Photo c/o

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Joining the growing list of those who think something was up with (or inside of) Niemann, was Elon Musk, who tweeted his own suspicions.

“Talent hits a target no one else can hit, genius hits a target no one can see (cause it’s in ur butt),” Musk tweeted in response to @Babble last week.

Why do I feel like Bills Mafia had something to do with this?

In response to social media being up his ass about the sex toy, Niemann told KSDK-TV:

“I have never cheated in an over-the-board game. That is the worst thing I could do: cheat in a tournament with prize money.

“You know my dream came true. I lived my dream for a day beating Magnus, and then, all of this happened.” isn’t buying it. They’ve decided to ban Niemann from its Global Championship in Toronto, telling the Guardian: “We have invited Neimann to provide an explanation and response with the hope of finding a resolution where Neimann can again participate on”

The prize for winning the Global Championship is $1 million. So it would appear as if did what the anal beads couldn’t – hurt Niemann.

Follow along on Twitter: @OhioAF

Written by Anthony Farris

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