SEC Cupcake Saturday: Lambs to the Slaughter

Videos by OutKick

Have you glanced at this weekend’s college slate of games where these bastions of SEC academic excellence take time out from their rigorous scholarly pursuits and imbibe in a few hours of collegial athletic endeavors?

Well, after perusing the lines being hung at the best online sportsbooks found all in one tidy place at Sportsbook Review, it just so happens that the boys in the SEC won’t be breaking much more of a sweat than they do in the classrooms. Let’s take a look at who the top teams in the Southeastern Conference will be “battling” on Saturday as well as the accompanying point spreads on each.

The Citadel at No. 1 Alabama (-51) – In this matchup of football mayhem, the Southeastern Conference collides with the Southern Conference where the only thing these two have in common is geography. The Citadel Bulldogs will take aim at the Crimson Tide and if you enjoy car crashes and train wrecks then we suggest you buy your tickets because this one is sure to feature more carnage than Friday the 13th. Imagine for a moment, the pregame speech being delivered by Nick Saban to his young charges shortly before they take the turf at Tuscaloosa.

“Boys, we can’t take anything for granted. We’re No. 1 in the nation for a reason and that means we play the best because we are the best. Lining up across you will be a team of hungry ballplayers whose sole intent is to take the glory that is yours, mine, our families, and our friends. Yet we are charged with keeping what’s rightfully ours, preserving the sanctity of our house where legends are born. So I say to you here and now, that Citadel is not to be taken lightly and the task before you is to prove that any opponent entering Bryant-Denny Stadium does so at their own risk. So with that …. oh sh*t even I can’t fake this.”

Citadel has bested the likes of such legendary collegiate luminaries as Mercer, VMI, Western Carolina, and Samford this season. Therefore, if you believe for a moment that over 100,000 screaming, crimson-clad lunatics will daunt this young group of cadets then you’ve never seen morning roll call down in Charleston, South Carolina! In short, the only way the Tide don’t destroy the Bulldogs and crush the number is if Saban is regaled by a choir of angels singing Amazing Grace in the locker room and finds mercy in his soul. However, if this gets too ugly too fast then you may see the Alabama water boys and the Bama mascot suiting up to relieve the fourth-stringers in which a backdoor cover could be had by the sacrificial lambs from The Citadel. But don’t count on it.


Cupcakes for Bulldogs, Tigers, Bayou Bengals & Gators Too

Alabama is not the only SEC squad getting their fill of cupcakes this week as Georgia, Auburn, LSU and Florida all get a taste of lower-tier competition. Let’s surf on over again to Sportsbook Review to see what the best online sportsbooks in the business are hanging on these mismatches. Prepare yourself for the wonder that is Florida -39 ½ over visiting Idaho, Georgia -44 over their guests from UMass, Auburn -28 ½ entertaining the ladies of Liberty, and lastly LSU -43 ½ as they look to crush Rice within a minute.

It’s all there for our viewing pleasure, so while you’re sitting back, cracking open a cold one just remember there are trainers and medical personnel at all these SEC venues who will be putting their educations and institutional knowledge to good use by helping heal the physical wounds of these unwelcome guests. But whether the emotional scars will ever heal is anyone’s guess.

Written by SportsBook Review