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Screw It, Let’s Have A Drink! Minute Maid Beverages Contain Hardware

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Are you planning on crushing Tito’s and Minute Maid Berry Punch this holiday season? Be on the lookout for washers and bolts in your mugs and tumblers. Coca-Cola announced a recall on Minute Maid drinks after learning there was a “potential presence of foreign matter” which turned out to be metal bolts and washers, according to Food Safety News.

The drinks that may contain these bolts and washers were distributed to stores in Pennsylvania, New York, Maine, Virginia, Maryland, Connecticut, New Hampshire and North Carolina. 4,125 cases of Minute Maid Berry Punch were sent out with possible “foreign matter” contamination. 2,375 cases of Minute Maid Strawberry Lemonade and 975 cases of Minute Maid Fruit Punch made it out of production facilities before the “foreign matter” was discovered.

“We took this voluntary action because nothing is more important to us than providing safe, high-quality products to the people who drink our beverages,”  a Coca-Cola spokesperson said in a statement.

Bolts washers Minute Maid juice
Drinks recalled in eight states by the Coca-Cola Company / Minute Maid

Let this be a fair warning to those who think their buddy Bob is faking it when he’s choking after Brad’s stiff pour on a Minute Maid Hard Lemonade. Bob could have a bolt lodged in his throat. This isn’t some sort of sick joke where Bob’s pretending Brad went light on the lemonade.

He’s really choking on a bolt, you fools.

You need to be on high alert out there this holiday season when you see Minute Maid mixers on the bar at the neighbor’s house. Do you have a metal detector sitting around? You might want to carry it with you to all the parties and run it over top of your drinks after dipping a red Solo cup into a barrel of Hairy Buffalo.

One minute you’re Brad, thinking everything is great, the party is poppin’, and the next minute you’re Bob choking to death as a bolt is lodged in your throat and your friends think you’re faking it.

You’ve been warned. Stay vigilant out there.

Written by Joe Kinsey

I'm an Ohio guy, born in Dayton, who roots for Ohio State and can handle you guys destroying the Buckeyes, Urban Meyer and everything associated with Columbus.

One Comment

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  1. Minute Maid is a Woke-A-Cola product, a company from which I do not purchase anything, so I’m all good! And hey, Woke-A-Cola, while you’re segregating all of your employees based on the phenotypic expression of their genes, maybe sneak in some training on equipment maintenance.

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