Sasha Banks – Naomi Controversy Forces WWE To Pull Back The Curtain, Admit To ‘Scripted TV’

Spoiler alert: those Hulk Hogan – Andre the Giant matches had a predetermined winner and you really CAN see John Cena.

In a rare move for the vastly popular WWE, the wrestling titan admitted to the world that their shows are scripted. What’s next, a couple of elves slide down from the North Pole and tell us Santa isn’t real?

WWE’s unusual message was in direction response to a controversy that unfolded during last night’s Monday Night Raw. In the midst of the live taping, WWE women’s tag team champions, Sasha Banks and Naomi, walked out of a scheduled title bout moments before their match.

The champions were reportedly unhappy with a perceived lack of respect from WWE management and were unwilling to participate in what was scheduled to be Monday’s main event – a “Six-Pack Challenge,” featuring Banks, Naomi, Becky Lynch, Asuka, Nikki A.S.H. and Doudrop. The winner would earn the right to square off with Bianca Belair for her Raw women’s championship at a pay-per-view later this month.

Though the reason for their unhappiness is unclear, Banks and Naomi opted to leave the arena rather than participate.

What followed was an oddly truthful release from the clearly-heated WWE.

“During the broadcast, they walked into WWE Head of Talent Relations John Laurinaitis office with their suitcases in hand, placed their tag team championship belts on his desk and walked out,” said a late Monday statement released by the WWE.

“They claimed they weren’t respected enough as tag team champions. And even though they had eight hours to rehearse and construct their match, they claimed they were uncomfortable in the ring with two of their opponents even though they’d had matches with those individuals in the past with no consequence.

So help me God if they try and claim The Undertaker and Kane aren’t really half-brothers.

“Monday Night Raw is a scripted live TV show, whose characters are expected to perform the requirements of their contract.”

What? Now you want to try and tell me Milli Vanilli wasn’t actually singing?

Prior to revealing their secrets, the WWE was forced to change the main event while already on the air. The sports entertainment company quickly made the decision to announce to their audience that the tag champs had left the building and the Six-Pack Challenge would be scrapped in favor of a one-on-one match between Lynch and Asuka.

The post-Raw statement from WWE later added: “We regret we were unable to deliver, as advertised, tonight’s main event.”

Little do they know, they delivered plenty.

And regardless, it’s still real to me dammit!

 

 

Follow along on Twitter: @OhioAF

 

Written by Anthony Farris

Anthony is a former high school basketball intramural champion who played a leading role in creating two offspring. He spends his weekends hoping for an MTV Rock N' Jock revival.

Follow him on twitter @OhioAF

2 Comments

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  1. I would think that anyone with half a brain (sorry, Deadspin “writers”) would realize that professional wrestling is scripted. I mean, McMahon and Company have seemingly made that point clear for the last, oh, couple of decades.

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