Videos by OutKick
Hello and good Thursday afternoon from the chiropractor’s table, where I’m trying to get my back put back together ahead of a week-long vacation. No, I did not throw it out trying to keep up with Salma Hayek’s latest Instagram bender.
Yes, I most definitely DID throw it out by dealing with a toddler who is going through the clingy stage AND an 18-month sleep regression at the same time.
Shocking that spending half the night in a rocking chair from 1947 wouldn’t be great for your already bad back. Who would’ve thunk it?!
Whatever, I ain’t worried. We’ll get this bad boy all cracked out and I’ll bounce back like the semi-healthy 30-year-old I am.
In the meantime, we have plenty to discuss for my second-to-last class before I spend the next week sitting in a house with my head down and mouth closed while watching everyone be passively-aggressively annoyed at each other.
As Bart Scott once said, Can’t Wait!
Let’s see, what do we have on tap for today? Not Bud Light, that’s for sure!
We’ll get to Salma Hayek enjoying herself at the Cannes Film Festival in just a bit. We’ll also touch on another Patriots scandal, a WILD ride during this morning’s OutKick zoom call, Babe Ruth’s final home run and, oh yeah …
Epstein didn’t kill himself!
(Please don’t come after me, Clintons. It’s just a joke).
Cross ‘Patriots cheat’ off your 2023 Bingo cards
We’ll get to Jeffrey in a second assuming I make it that long.
First, though, we have to start up in New England, where the Patriots were caught cheating again in a true tradition unlike any other.
Hilarious. It’s amazing how smug Bill Belichick is, but it’s also why I love him. I LIVE for Belichick’s pressers during the season, and I’m a lifelong Dolphins fan.
Doesn’t matter, though. I respect the hell out of Bill, mainly because he’s a #contentmachine, and here he is again — cheating in May just to try and gain an edge.
I mean, you’re telling me THIS guy didn’t know the NFL’s offseason rules?
That, boys and girls, was a 10-minute diatribe by Bill Belichick on the evolution of long snappers. Insane.
Is this SpyGate or DeflateGate? Unfortunately, no. We also have no clue what the Pats did to piss off the NFLPA, because they won’t comment. Shocker. This also isn’t uncommon — I feel like teams get nabbed every year for an OTA violation.
That being said, the fact that it’s the Patriots makes it hilarious. Super Bowl BACK on in New England.
This morning’s OutKick zoom call was a rollercoaster
Death, taxes, the Pats cheating and David Hookstead being patriotic.
Those are the absolute certain things in life — that last one obviously being less well-known than the other three.
OutKick has two editorial zoom meetings a day, one in the morning and late afternoon. I’m one of the few lucky ones who gets to be on both. What a treat!
Anyway, as we were discussing the upcoming schedule for Memorial Day Monday, OutKick’s own David Hookstead blurted out that he’d be busy watching the old series Band of Brothers because he watches the ENTIRE series over the course of Memorial Day weekend every single year.
To which I responded, ‘least shocking news of the day.’ You can count on a good gun debate, some lawyer lingo, some Washington DC slander and something patriotic as hell from David Hookstead every single day.
Still, watching the same series from start to finish every single holiday is one of the craziest stats I’ve ever heard. Insane.
In another piece of shocking news, Hook will also have a Memorial Day tribute column sometime Monday morning. What an American.
What’s the best finale ever?
That was just Part 1 of this morning’s rollercoaster.
We also dove into Hayley Caronia doing the 75 Hard challenge, which Nightcaps talked about yesterday. I don’t wanna spend too much time on it since Anthony crushed it, but it’s the dumbest thing I’ve ever seen and I wouldn’t do one of these. Not one.
-Complete two 45-minute workouts, one indoor and one outdoor.
-Drink a gallon of water
-Follow a diet
-Consume NO alcohol
-Read 10 pages of a book
-Take a progress picture every day
Nope. No shot. As Doug Heffernan once told Arthur Spooner, I want to die happy.
Finally, we ended the meeting by talking about the best finales of all time with Succession’s swan song coming this weekend.
I believe we actually have a list coming out in a few days put together by maybe the unlikeliest OutKick duo of all time (you’ll see), but here’s mine — AKA the actual list.
- Breaking Bad (duh)
- The Office
- Sons of Anarchy
Side note: I haven’t finished Better Call Saul yet, so relax. I also haven’t watched Six Feet Under, so double relax.
Now, the worst!
- Game of Thrones (duh)
- Dexter (could be 1)
- How I Met Your Mother (what the hell was that?)
- Seinfeld (what are we doing here?)
Salma Hayek refuses to get old
I’d also argue Pretty Little Liars finale could go in there (yes, I watched PLL and I don’t care who knows it).
All right, let’s kick this sucker into high gear before I get wheeled out of here.
You’ve finally reached the Salma Hayek portion of the lesson, which is likely the reason you all came in the first place. Congrats on making it this far!
Your reward is a couple HEATERS from 56-year-old Salma during her trip overseas to the Cannes Film Festival.
The woman is unreal at her age. It’s truly an inspiration.
Happy anniversary, Babe Ruth!
The lady is unreal. What a career. Did her boobs fall out like Heidi Klum’s did at the same festival? No. But the day is still young!
Coupe quickies on the way out.
Bet you didn’t know today was the 88-year anniversary of Babe Ruth’s 714th and final big league home run. Time flies, doesn’t it?
And guess what else? Babe didn’t just hit No. 714 on May 25, 1935. He hit Nos. 712 and 713 then, too.
That’s right! The Babe hit THREE dongs and a double for the Boston Braves in a 11-7 loss to the Pirates. Ruth retired eight days later.
How’s that for a history lesson?
Finally, here’s the new leader in the clubhouse for best billboard of 2023. Forget Morgan and Morgan (for the people!), I’m officially #TeamParke!
Now let’s all go have one hell of a Thursday night. Go Panthers and Heat. Go DeSantis and GO Florida.
OutKick Nightcaps is a daily column set to run Monday through Friday at 4 p.m. (roughly, we’re not robots).
Is Salma Hayek the hottest 56-year-old on the planet? Email me at Zach.Dean@OutKick.com.
Here’s the other billboard y’all were talking about
by u/voluptuous_lime in vegas