Salma Hayek Celebrates Chinese New Year, Martha Stewart Backs Burrow & Clay’s Latest Hate Mail

It turns out my dad is back in Ohio and just might be here through the Super Bowl

Tuesday night, dad received a call from his Ohio neighbors who are tasked with keeping an eye on his house during the winter that there was a major issue: SEVEN INCHES OF WATER IN THE BASEMENT!

So dad and Kathy jumped on a plane Wednesday morning and rushed back to find what he believes is a sump float that got stuck, which led to the flooding, which led to shorting out his freezer — loaded with meat — and his beer fridge. The water was seven inches deep when he walked in Wednesday afternoon. You can guess what the scene looked like with a freezer that thawed.

I have to give my dad credit. He didn’t flip out during our call like a 45-year-old John would have. I think the Bengals winning the AFC Championship actually calmed him down and allowed him to see the brighter side of things….our Bengals are heading to the Super Bowl!

Yes, the basement is a mess and there will be some work for a restoration company. Yes, it prevents dad from jumping on his boat and enjoying a week of incredible SW Florida weather, but it could be worse.

I don’t know if this is the football gods at work here, but it sure feels like it. I know there was a massive push by Screencaps readers to make sure he and I headed to Los Angeles for Super Bowl week. Now I’m getting the feeling that the football gods are trying to tell me something here. It’s very possible they caused that sump float to stick — yes, he has a backup system that never kicked on — and for that basement to flood.

Like I’ve been saying, I’ll allow the football gods to show us the way over the next 10 days. If you want dad’s basement to flood, causing him to be around his fellow Bengals fans for the Super Bowl, then so be it. We’ll just go ahead with the plan.

• Jake H. at a Credit Union writes:

I inquired from our onsite HR professional and her recommendation, in terms of how it flows and what’d be best for your career going forward is a combination of your final options:

Senior Director of Content for Outkick and Screencaps Services

Keep up the great work!

• Bill C. suggests I use OutKick Senior Director of Content and Screencaps For Real America! (OutKick Copy Editor Dr. Cortney suggested the same thing and had some real-talk for me in the process: “Keep the exclamation point. Lose the punctuation, lose my vote. Sorry, not sorry. That’s where I stand.”)

Bill writes:

Now you need a title/name for the readers and contributors of content. Something like grinders or blue collars.

####

Great idea, Bill.

Dr. Cortney has to read this as part of her OutKick job, so maybe she can offer up some suggestions. What should we call Screencaps contributors? Fire away.

Email: joekinsey@gmail.com

• I have to apologize to Arthur in Atlanta. Wednesday I referenced him as Arthur in Alabama and he quickly corrected the record:

Thanks for publishing my email in today’s Screencaps, but it’s Arthur in Atlanta, not Arthur in Alabama! How dare you associate a Georgia Bulldawg with that damn state?! Kidding, of course, but feel free to correct if you want. Not a big deal either way.

For the record, I have to confess that I will probably be pulling for the Rams in the Super Bowl, as I- along with most Georgia fans- really want to see Matthew Stafford win a Super Bowl ring & cement his legacy in the NFL after having to endure over a decade in Detroit. Not to mention two other Dawgs (Leonard Floyd & Sony Michel) play big roles for the Rams, plus two of their offensive assistant coaches (Thomas Brown &Nick Jones) are UGA alums.

The Bengals used to have a ton of former Dawgs on their squad (AJ Green, Geno Atkins, Robert Geathers, Shawn Williams, Orson Charles, even back to Odell Thurman & David Pollock), but right now they’re down to reserve OL Trey Hill. So again, I’ll be overjoyed for you & all the long-suffering Bengals fans if you do pull it out, but I’ll be ever so slightly behind the Rams next Sunday. Sorry!

####

I get it, Arthur. Any other time, I’d be pulling for Stafford to win a ring. I met Matthew and Kelly, who has been a supporter of mine over the years, in L.A. a few years ago at a Gatorade media event and they’re very cordial and fun. I’ll never forget early in my Internet career when those two used to throw lake boat ragers. These two practically paid for the down payment on my house with all the content they produced during the offseason.

• Mike T. & Cindy T. from Idaho have slowed down with the taco photos from Mexico. Now they’ve moved on to blue skies and tropical water photos while it’s snowing here in Ohio. I have to believe the T.s walk the beach, stop for a beer, walk some more, stop for a taco, walk it off, stop for another beer, taco, beer, taco, limes, jalapeno salads, etc.

What a retirement.

However, that groundhog spoke on Wednesday and spring will be here before you know it. Mike T. will be back to mowing his yard and life will reset. Enjoy it while you can, retirees!

Mike writes:

Just checking in from Puerto Vallarta

• MJ writes:

Checking in from Westfield, IN for Snowmageddon 2022. Out grilling. Definitely an amateur griller, but it all tastes good. Hope the community in the path of the snow is staying safe.

• Mark W. knows what’s coming real soon. The snow fanatics are all giddy right now celebrating their big win as the snow piles up, but those of us who can see light at the end of the tunnel know that we’re mere weeks away from firing up the engines for the first time in 2022.

My five-year-old son keeps asking “Are the flowers growing yet?” SOON. REAL SOON, KID!

Mark writes:

It’s going to be here before you know it, Joe. Gotta get the pre-season training started now.

• Paul B. wants to answer a thought I threw out on Tuesday: “I’d like to know who’s going to buy all the houses going up in SW Florida when the white hairs start dying off in droves.”

Paul writes:

The answer to this is it’s just like Hydra in the Marvel movies. “Cut off one head, two more shall take its place.” Remove one white hair and two more shall take their place. It’s not just white hairs anymore either. Everybody is coming down to this oasis of freedom.

####

While I get Paul’s belief that the desire to Florida will continue to rise due to a variety of reasons including political leaders turning their states into shitholes, we’re still talking about a state that shines when the real estate market is booming and really bottoms out — like 2016 when the state led the nation with 56,000 foreclosures over a 12-month period.

I’m sure there’s an economist out there studying Florida and what will happen when the Baby Boomers die off and can provide a forecast for the future, but don’t forget we’re talking about a nation where the average citizen is falling further into https://www.cnbc.com/2022/01/11/amid-rising-prices-us-households-fall-deeper-in-debt.html debt and inflation is quickly catching up to U.S. household incomes.

According to a recent CNBC report, “The average U.S. household with debt now owes $155,622, or more than $15 trillion altogether, including debt from credit cards, mortgages, home equity lines of credit, auto loans, student loans and other household obligations — up 6.2% from a year ago.”

We shall see what happens when the Boomers die off. I’ll just be over here with cash waiting to see if I can snag a nice place to live in the winter. Fingers crossed.

• And with that, it’s time to get Thursday rolling along. I have some snow to shovel, a post to write on the Milwaukee cop who was shot — Bengals fan! — who will be heading to the Super Bowl and much more to cover throughout the day.

The weather is garbage. I’ll be right here pounding away at the keyboard.

Email: joekinsey@gmail.com

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Written by Joe Kinsey

I'm an Ohio guy, born in Dayton, who roots for Ohio State and can handle you guys destroying the Buckeyes, Urban Meyer and everything associated with Columbus.

One Comment

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  1. I am deeply offended by you and Paul B. refering to the elderly population as “White Hairs”. It’s blue hairs, not white. And blue is such a nice, race-neutral color. Unless you know of people that are blue. I don’t. Aside from drowning victims, but they’re not in a position to raise a stink, unless you let them sit around awhile in the Florida sun. And down here we prefer “birds” or “feathers”. And I love those blue hairs from New Yawk. They just bought my two rentals for twice what they cost me three years ago.

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