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In perhaps the most important update of the week, the most beautiful bearded man in all of sports has announced that he will never shave his iconic face mane.
That’s right, Washington Football Team quarterback Ryan Fitzpatrick’s brown Santa Claus is here to stay. Fitzpatrick confirmed as much during a press conference with reporters on Thursday.
“I don’t think I could ever shave again,” Fitzpatrick said. “They [Kelce and Johnson] look like different human beings.”
Fitzpatrick’s remarks come after Kansas City Chiefs tight end Travis Kelce and PGA major champion Dustin Johnson opted for a clean shaven look, and their drastic changes in appearance soon went viral on social media.
Fans even went so far to say that Johnson looks like a completely different person, comparing him to Clemson Tigers head football coach Dabo Swinney.
Fitzpatrick will look to fend off teammate Taylor Heinicke to remain Washington’s quarterback and Florida Panthers forward “Jumbo” Joe Thornton for best beard in all of sports. I mean, just look at this beauty that Thornton sports on the ice.
Now, only one question remains: How much more can FitzMagic’s beard grow? Could we be on the verge of a Tom Hanks a la Castaway in the making? Only time will tell.