Commanders Players Confirm That Acai Bowls Are Not A Form Of Soup In Perfectly Peculiar Video

Thu, 24 Aug 2023 17:35:51 -0400

The Washington Commanders social media team put out a video of a question they asked their players that got way more heated than you'd expect: Do acai bowls count as soup?

If you're unfamiliar, an acai bowl usually consists of smashed acai berries then topped with granola and various fruits.

It's a variation of the classic "Is a hot dog a sandwich?" question that has kept people awake at night and torn families apart for years. It seems the acai bowl question strikes a similar nerve.

We usually define "soup" the same way the Supreme Court Potter Stewart views obscenity: you know it when you see it.

Bisque? Soup.

Ice Cream? Not soup.

Gazpacho? Soup?

Cereal with milk? Not a soup.

Easy.

But, Acai Bowls? Well, that appears to be open for debate.

"Is an acai bowl a soup? Hell no," linebacker Cody Barton said. "What even defines a soup? It's not a soup. It's like an ice cream smoothie or something."

That's a good point, They are essentially smoothies out of a bowl with a spoon.

Punter Tress Way agreed with Barton, but he used a hypothetical situation to illustrate his take on the topic.

"Has anybody ever said, "Man, do you want to go get some soup?' and the other person goes, 'Yeah, let's go get acai bowls.'"

Uh... no?

"There's your friggin' answer," Way proclaimed.

He makes a compelling point, but I'd counter with the argument that no one has ever said, "Man, do you want to go get some soup?"

Cornelius Lucas dubbed the question "stupid," but it was unclear which camp he falls under. Will put him with the not soup guys.

Most other players took some position along the lines of acai bowls being in the smoothie or ice cream family, but some broke from the pack.

Defensive end Chase Young made an interesting argument that soups are hot, thus acai bowls cannot be a soup.

Sorry, Chase. We established up top that gazpacho — a chilled tomato soup — is exactly that: soup.

One eyebrow-raising argument came from newly-minted starting QB Sam Howell argued that once an acai bowl melts it's a soup. To me, Soup has to arrive on the scene in liquid form already. However, that's the kind of abstract thinking you want out of a quarterback. The dude earned that job.

However, no; there's no way in hell acai bowls are a soup.

Follow on X: @Matt_Reigle

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Commanders Players Confirm That Acai Bowls Are Not A Form Of Soup In Perfectly Peculiar Video