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Putin Vs. Musk Street Fight For Ownership Of Ukraine: Who You Got?

A weed-smoking tech nerd billionaire vs. a brutal KGB-trained Russian billionaire dictator street fight death match for ownership of Ukraine. Talk about just what 2022 needed. Tesla founder Elon Musk woke up Monday morning and decided today was the day he challenged Putin to a “single combat” that would once and for all end the war in Ukraine.

“Do you agree to this fight?” Musk wrote with a tag directed at the Kremlin’s Twitter account.

Talk about a generational fight we didn’t know we needed, but now this is one of the most intriguing fight promotions of all time as Putin completely levels a sovereign nation of 40 million people. But, is this a fight that favors Musk?

Let’s take a look at the intangibles here:

• Putin’s (allegedly) a judo blackbelt who (allegedly) co-authored the book “Judo: History, Theory, Practice”

• Putin’s pushing 70, but let’s keep in mind he’s (allegedly) wrestled bears and is a dominant hockey player who once put up eight goals in a single game

• Musk would have the reach advantage — he’s 6’2 and is (allegedly) trained in the art of Jiu-Jitsu

• While the age, height, weight, and reach favor Musk, the gambling experts believe the cagey veteran Putin still has the clear advantage in this fight for Ukraine because of his Judo background and his desire to put the Soviet Union back together one piece of land and one fight against a billionaire electric car company founder at a time.

Now, let’s talk pay-per-view buys. Floyd Mayweather Jr. and Manny Pacquiao’s 2017 “Fight of the Century” made $410 million on 4.6 million PPVs. Billionaires fighting over control of a massive eastern European country would clearly set PPV numbers unlike anything the world has seen before.

Could we see 300 million PPVs out of these two? Just think of the hype for this one. Weed-smoking Musk vs. Putin at the weigh-in would be intense. One guy who has ordered thousands of deaths vs. a billionaire who once released an auto-tuned tribute song to Harambe, the Cincinnati Zoo gorilla who was brutally murdered in 2016.

You’re damn right I’m all in on this fight.

Get on it, Don King. Yes, he’s still alive and he’s 90 and has to have one final fight promotion left in the tank.

Written by Joe Kinsey

I'm an Ohio guy, born in Dayton, who roots for Ohio State and can handle you guys destroying the Buckeyes, Urban Meyer and everything associated with Columbus.

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