Ultramarathoner Dean Karnazes, an insane guy who goes out on 150-mile runs for the fun of it, got a big surprise over the weekend when he came face-to-face with a coyote that wanted to rip off his fat-free melon.
Dean is such a maniac that he fired up his phone to film a reaction video with blood running down his face and a gash across his chin that seems to indicate the coyote was in the process of ripping off his head when Dean fought back.
“I just had something rather terrifying happen,” Dean said into the camera phone. “I got attacked by a coyote. That was a first.”
Ah, but it wasn’t his first near-death experience. We’re talking about a guy who once described running 135 miles across Death Valley as “the devil holding a blowtorch in your face” and was once attacked by a shark.
If Dean is shook over a coyote attack, then you know this is some serious stuff.
Thankfully, Dean had his ultramarathon running poles with him and they served as weapons as he “whacked” the coyote to end the assault.
“Kind of brutal,” Dean added. “Not sure what I’m gonna do. I guess I gotta keep going or else it’ll probably come back for me.”
Spoiler: Dean got the hell out of there.
As for why a coyote is attacking Dean on a 150-mile run, he believes it has to do with people feeding the coyotes in the Marin Headlands are of California. “This has got to stop,” he wrote on Instagram.
“Thank you. It’s best for everyone, coyotes included.”
Which one is more out of its mind:
• Dean for finding enjoyment in running 150 miles
• The coyote for trying to eat a guy who has minus-10% body fat?
If he thinks feeding the coyotes is the problem, wait until Dean hears about the situation up in Vancouver, Canada where coyote experts believe four attacks in 2021 could be attributed to opioids.
Coyotes on drugs. Coyotes being fed by humans.
Be careful out there, folks. Protect yourself at all times in coyote country.