Videos by OutKick
Meet Larry and Ric. They seem like a couple who used to love Portland, Oregon before it turned into a cesspool of drug addicts and criminals who have run Starbucks, Cracker Barrel, Walmart, and Applebees out of town.
Now these two, who are just trying to enjoy their retirement years, have to open their windows in their Portland high-rise to see drug addict squatters and wackos taking dumps across the Willamette River in front of their rudimentary tree houses built out of driftwood.
Larry and Ric are so fed up, they finally went to local TV station KOIN to get some i-Team results.
And because Portland is such a cesspool with so much cesspool activity going on, KOIN found out government agencies aren’t in the mood to stop the degenerates from taking dumps out Larry and Ric’s picture window. Sorry, fellas, those tax dollars you pay to live in bucolic Portland aren’t going to stop a damn thing.
It gets better, if you’re laughing at all this, or worse if you’re Larry and Ric.
The driftwood builder drug addict degens also have a million-dollar view of the city. How is this all possible? KOIN reports that there’s a very small piece of land along the river and Union Pacific’s railyard that nobody will claim as their own because then they might have to do something about the people who are living in structures described as “beaver dams.”
The retirees say after six years of complaining, enough is enough.
A spokesperson from the Oregon Department of State Lands has bad news for the guys: “The bad news is, at this point, it’s hard to say if we have a role. Where public ownership of the riverbed/bank ends and upland ownership begins is complicated.”
Ok, what about the Department of Environmental Quality and the Army Corps of Engineers? Nope, they’re staying out of this one.
Multnomah County? Eh, they’re not sure if their nonprofits have attempted to get people off the river banks.
What about the railroad?
“Under Ordinary High Water Mark common law, the boundary separating public land from private land is determined by natural fluctuations of the water, making it a legal gray area,” a spokesperson told KOIN.
The city has no idea what to do.
Meanwhile, another Portland coffee house says it is closing due to violence that left the owners no choice but to leave. Coava Coffee baristas told KGW-8 that extreme violence at its downtown business included a chair being thrown through a window.
According to a recent survey of 118 small business owners in Portland, 79% said the business had been burglarized or vandalized in 2022. Nearly 46% of the businesses say they were hit more than three times in 2022.
In other words, Larry and Ric aren’t going to get any action out of local government over the driftwood builder community. The city has things like cab drivers being killed to worry about, not whether River Rat Ronnie is taking a dump while Larry and Ric are enjoying avocado toast.
One CommentLeave a Reply
There’s a word for what they are…’sitting ducks’….but Portland is a 3rd world authoritarian hellhole so, no guns allowed!