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Porn Company Offers To Help Urban Meyer Stay Out Of Trouble

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Urban Meyer is in a bad spot after a blond took him hostage over the weekend at a Columbus, Ohio bar where the Jacksonville Jaguars head coach lost all control and ended up allowing the blond to hold him against his will during a grind session.

The married dad formally issued an apology Monday and told the media that it was all his fault. “It was stupid. I should have left,” Meyer said, adding, that he apologized to his players, the franchise and his family for becoming a distraction.

Enter adult website CamSoda. The company announced Monday that it was extending “an offer to him to enjoy some XXX entertainment from the comfort of his hotel room, without being a distraction to the team.”

It’s quite an offer for a guy who could be one more distraction away from heart problems and an eventual exit from Jacksonville where he was supposed to recharge this franchise. Urban is just four games into the NFL season and he’s already needing a release.

CamSoda knows it could be the key to saving this guy’s NFL career. They’re being problem-solvers here.

Dear Urban Meyer,

I saw the videos and pictures making the rounds on Twitter over the weekend of you out and about on the town partying and canoodling. I know you addressed everything in a press conference right now, saying you shouldn’t have put yourself in that kind of position.

I’d like to reach out and offer you a VIP Elite XXX membership to CamSoda – the world’s best live adult webcam platform – that you can take with you on the road. It will provide you free 24/7 access to a roster of beautiful cam models that you can webcam with in crisp 4K from the comfort of your hotel room.

I’d hate for you to get caught again and become a distraction. I know you have a pivotal showdown with the Titans this Sunday and your focus should be on getting your first win.

Take us up on our offer and we will send you a brand-new laptop so you can penetrate the hole, pound it in and score…off the field. 

Sincerely,

Daryn Parker

Vice President of CamSoda

Written by Joe Kinsey

I'm an Ohio guy, born in Dayton, who roots for Ohio State and can handle you guys destroying the Buckeyes, Urban Meyer and everything associated with Columbus.

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