COLUMBIA, MO – NOVEMBER 9: Tents remain on the Mel Carnahan quad on the campus of University of Missouri – Columbia on November 9, 2015 in Columbia, Missouri. University of Missouri System President Tim Wolfe resigned today amid protests over racial tensions at the university. (Photo by Michael B. Thomas/Getty Images) Michael B. Thomas Getty Images North America


We have a poopswastika update. (I haven’t been this excited to write a headline since the University of Alabama issued an official response to a teabagging in a Bourbon Street Krystal’s). You know the world has turned upside down when I awake to hundreds of Twitter mentions from social justice warriors that essentially all boil down to this: “Where’s your update on the poopswastika now? #racist”

I mean, this is real life, the pc bro culture is trumpeting the existence of a poop swastika like it’s their racism holy grail. 

After several days of silence, the University of Missouri has released an October 24th, 2015 police report on a poopswastika in a dorm room. There isn’t much information in the report, but you can read it here.

Proving that the Outkick comment section can actually be useful, a Mizzou janitor claims that she was the person who cleaned up the mess. It’s possible that her name is also in the report, but it’s redacted.

Because we are steadfast journalists Outkick has reached out to interview Lauren about the poopswastika and her recollections of feces on the dorm bathroom wall and we will update you with said interview if it happens. This, friends, is why I went to law school. 

So assuming that we now know a poopswastika exists, what does this change?

Not much. 

The police report says that an officer observed a poopswastika on the wall with feces beneath it. So someone took actual feces in their hand sometime after midnight and scrawled it on a bathroom wall in the shape of a swastika. We still don’t know the intent behind the poopswastika. That is, do you generally use feces to endorse a cause? Couldn’t the poopswastika just as easily have been an anti-swastika statement?

Most importantly, doesn’t the existence of a poopswastika just reinforce what I wrote yesterday in an article I’d still encourage you guys to read and share:

“And, by the way, if the poopswastika did exist, isn’t it evidence of a really deranged individual more than its evidence of a campus overrun by racism? Isn’t the first thing you think of when you hear of a poopswastika, who the hell put their hands in poop and used it to write on a bathroom wall? If it happened, which there’s no evidence that it did, isn’t that person who did it probably insane?” 

Of course it’s always possible that at two in the morning a totally sane individual thought: you know what I should do to begin my campus crusade to terrorize minorities? I should pull this feces out of the toilet, hold it in my hand, and draw a poopswastika on the wall. That will show them how serious my intentions are. Next stop, world domination.

I mean, that could totally be true.  

But isn’t it more likely that the person who did this is insane?

While I’ve got you here for the poopswastika news, we have another update on the hunger striker. Remember when he claimed to be hit by a car driven by Missouri’s president? That’s a claim that has been reinforced by countless media outlets across the country. 

Well, you have to watch this video. The multi-millionaire hunger striker is a huge liar. He didn’t get hit by a car. 

The point remains after all this attention, even assuming the lying hunger striker and his friends are telling the truth about their racism experiences — which we really can’t believe at this point — all of the tangible evidence of wrongdoing by Mizzou students is nonexistent. It’s people using mean words, neither of whom were students, only one of which was on campus, and poop on the wall. 

And two people lost their jobs for this. 

What a total and complete joke this protest is. 


Written by Clay Travis

OutKick founder, host and author. He's presently banned from appearing on both CNN and ESPN because he’s too honest for both.