Plant-Based Mogul Emma Hernan Shows Off A Salad, Peyton’s Bronzed Bust & Kevin Love Is Fed Up

There I was driving around and hitting scan on the radio when I came across Delilah giving advice

I went for a drive all by myself at the end of the day after mowing half the lawn because the 4-year-old demanded a trip to the park and wouldn’t allow me to get the back done before going to see the mother duck’s nest under the toddler playground equipment. The drive is my chance to decompress, take a look around town at landscaping projects and see what’s going on as people blow through stimmy money.

There I was, scanning through the radio, when I came across radio legend Delilah giving some woman advice on how to handle a bad marriage. Delilah said something about the woman taking back control of her life and then she dials up “Under the Bridge” by the Red Hot Chili Peppers. My god it hit me like a ton of bricks. Maybe I haven’t been paying attention, but we’re in a period where an early 1990s song — by a band who used to wear socks on their dongs — about pumping heroin into one’s body and the isolation associated with addiction is now used to illustrate the need to get out of a bad marriage.

Mind…blowing…stuff.

“I have this wonderful image of this lady washing the dishes in her little home in Kansas with her little tape deck,” Anthony Kiedis told Rolling Stone for a June 25, 1992 edition, “popping this in and taking off her clothing, running into the back yard and getting loosened up a bit.”

Well, Anthony, I’ll have you know that Delilah is now using your songs as sappy heartache songs for women in their 40s who need to escape marriages that have now lasted like 25-plus years. The timing couldn’t have been better for Delilah. Recording of “Under the Bridge” started 30 years ago this month. Let that sink in today while you’re sitting at work with time on your hands.

It’s absolutely wild to think (1.) it’s been that long (2.) how quickly 30 years can fly by, and (3.) how many times MTV played that video during the summer of 1992.

• While “Under the Bridge” was pumping through the speakers, I drove by a house where approximately eight guys in their late 40s and at least 30-40 pounds overweight were playing a half-court game of basketball on a blue-collar side of town where you’re more likely to see guys working on trucks than shooting jumpers. I did a double-take as a middle-aged dad checked in the ball at the top of the key and set the offense in motion. I’m not sure what the sign from god was last night, but it was like I was transported back to the early 1990s back in Dayton, Ohio.

• Think about that for a second. When was the last time you saw a group of dads playing pickup basketball amongst themselves in a driveway? I’m not talking urban hipsters playing driveway basketball for street cred. I’m talking guys named Jim, Chuck, Bob & Mike.

• Do you want Amazon to drop off your groceries in the garage? It’s now available in 5,000 cities nationwide. You’ll need a smart garage door opener — sold by Amazon — to get the delivery, and Amazon will have yet more data associated with your house. What could possibly go wrong here?

• Crocs are back. Sales are soaring, and some are even calling them the shoes of the pandemic. Get a pair for the boat, the pool and for walking around the yard while watering your plants.

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Written by Joe Kinsey

I'm an Ohio guy, born in Dayton, who roots for Ohio State and can handle you guys destroying the Buckeyes, Urban Meyer and everything associated with Columbus.

5 Comments

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  1. Joe, “take a look around town at landscaping projects” sounds like something Hank Hill would do. In other news, so many good caps today. Emma’s arm and hand looks like she’s a grey alien. I just lost respect for Mike Tyson-breaking bread with Don King, the man that bankrupted you. Cop calling LeBron is hilarious. Putin Bay just doesn’t seem right for Ohio.

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