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Paige VanZant Sets Thirst Traps, Justin Thomas vs. Fan & Nobody Wants Baker Mayfield

It’s that time of year when I watch two straight hours of YouTube videos on things like flagstone walkways & plant staging strategies

As promised, I got my ass straight out of the house after clocking out from another productive day of blogging — Monday’s edition of Screencaps is going to end up setting traffic records — and into the garden because it was 72 degrees and there’s zero chance I’m wasting an evening with those temps in March.

Monday was one of those days that pays off down the road as I’m already multiple steps ahead of the game in 2022. My major goal this year is to be ahead of schedule. Get the flagstone pathway project done before May. Get my cobblestone garden bed project completed before Memorial Day. Get things power washed immediately after the massive tree off our patio drops its annoying seeds.

In other words, I’m not as focused on the turf this year as I am on the ancillary projects. I know, I know…but you’re the TNML commissioner, and turf is supposed to be your life.

I’ve been watching so many lawn and garden inspirational videos that I’m starting to look at things as a total package. My mind is starting to understand that a beautiful garden bed perfectly loaded with plants will complement the luscious turf and vice-versa.

This yard needs to be a five-tool player. No more shortcuts to success this year. It’s time to crank it up and that starts with productive March evenings after work followed by film study (I like to see what that lady at Garden Answer is up to) that includes watching before/after garden videos like Bill Belichick studies white guys slot receivers.

2022 mowing season goals ranked:

  1. Complete the flagstone path
  2. Cobblestone garden bed project
  3. Relax more, stop sweating the small things that need to be done
  4. Mulch earlier, don’t sweat the tree seeds dropping into the beautiful mulch; it can be covered up by a light layer
  5. Impress the ladies walking by with their dogs
  6. Force the neighbors to up their lawn game; leave no doubt who put in the most work on the street
  7. Stay calm when the kids destroy the grass around the basketball hoop
  8. Stay on the mowing schedule: Thursdays and late Sunday night so I finish with plenty of time to enjoy the golden hour before thinking about going back to work

There’s something about waking up Monday morning and seeing those fresh lines. Trust me, it’ll shoot laser beam chills down your spine as you back the sled out of the garage and take a glance as you throw the Dodge Ram into drive on your way to work.

On instant replay, fertilizer and March Madness

• Mike McC in CT writes:

Hope all is well, just stocked up on fertilizer for the season (which apparently lasts for several years), can’t wait to get out there.

Writing about instant replay in college hoops, it has to go.  My 13-year-old daughter and I were watching Tennessee-Belmont tonight – she’s a basketball player and we just finished our last year together as player and coach before she goes to high school.   Pretty good game.  Then, the last 59 seconds of game time took 27 minutes.

Someone in a central location has 10 seconds to correct OBVIOUS errors off one view.  No zoom in.  Clock stays where it is unless likely off by more than 2 full seconds (these tenths are the same as human error).

Mathematically it arguably makes the game LESS fair – same play that is overturned late can’t be corrected earlier, and it randomly adds “free timeouts” to teams that may have used all of theirs.

Does anyone at the NCAA care about the product (mens and womens)?  Think about how brutal it is to be in the gym for something like that.  

P.S.  Can you imagine being NC State?  #1 seed put in a region where the #2 seed (UConn) has the regional in their home state?   So the worse seed gets the home game in the regional final?  Would the men’s game ever allow that?

####

  1. I can’t remember which emailer it was who said to stock up on fertilizer back in like January. I hope everyone beat the inflation on that stuff.
  2. Replay is WAY TOOOOOOO long. Mike’s correct. I like for my March Madness buzz to roll on without being killed off by a five minute replay session followed by a CBS TV timeout.
  3. For those who don’t know, the East region of the women’s tournament will be played in Bridgeport, Connecticut. UConn fans will have a brutal 78-mile drive from Storrs-Mansfield, CT down I-91 into Bridgeport to root on the No. 2 seed. Let’s be honest, NC State was screwed here, but I don’t invest too much of my energy (actually zero) on women’s basketball. I’m awfully busy.

On movies

• Greg S. writes:

Go see “Dog” with Channing Tatum. The best movie my wife and I have been to in a long time.

On mowing

• Beau in Toledo writes:

If anyone asks, it was NOT me! (I don’t have room in the shed)

On trucks

• Stuckey writes:

Can you find this driver and get the interview?

####

First off, we’re thinking about our Texas friends who went through this crazy weather on Monday. Next, I’ll do my best to see if we can find out who was driving that red truck in Burleson, Texas as the twister made things real interesting.

And finally, will electric truck Chevy commercials ever be as cool as the Bob Seger, “Like a Rock” commercials that made American men feel like they could drive through a tornado on their way to a lumber yard?

I say no.

This is a great topic: the pussification of the American male. Where do you see it? Which commercials are the worst? Which brands are the biggest offenders?

This isn’t some new phenomenon — George Carlin addressed it going way back in 1999 — but it continuously gets worse.

Will one of you guys admit and address why you allow your wife to dress you in personalized Disney shirts for the family vacation? WHY!?!

####

That’s a good way to get the day rolling. All it takes is a minute-thirty of Carlin and I’m ready to run through a virtual internet brick wall.

Let’s have a great day across this great country. Go out there and attack, attack, attack. I want you dominating that sales meeting. I want you selling six Dodge Rams in eight hours and setting a new record at your dealership. I want you crunching the numbers better than you’ve ever crunched numbers.

And we’re off and running.

Email: joekinsey@gmail.com

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Written by Joe Kinsey

I'm an Ohio guy, born in Dayton, who roots for Ohio State and can handle you guys destroying the Buckeyes, Urban Meyer and everything associated with Columbus.

2 Comments

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  1. To her credit, PVZ seems to be reducing her Skank Factor … but “girl next door” is probably not a realistic goal …
    .
    Does Christie Brinkley walk around “The Hamptons” wearing a “I USED TO BE CHRISTIE BRINKLEY” t-shirt?
    .
    How long before “The Tranys” try to take over Pickleball ? Only a matter of time … sigh.
    .

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