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Paige VanZant Continues Her Content Assault, The World’s Tallest Family & Scheffler’s Caddie Is Really Enjoying That Masters Win

Keep the suggestions rolling in

Wednesday, I asked for suggestions on events/places/experiences I need to report on for Screencaps readers, but I’m not looking for the typical suggestions. I need outside-the-box ideas and it didn’t take long for you guys to step up.

The first event that caught my attention was Eldora Speedway in tiny Rossburg, OH (pop. 248) which is about 45 minutes north of where I grew up. In early June, Eldora will host an event, the Eldora Million, where a dirt late model driver will win $1 million.

Which one of you guys will be camping at Eldora for that event? I want the full Eldora experience. Full immersion. I want to explore the campgrounds. I want to meet the people. I want to see dirt fly. I want to feel the emotions. And maybe have a beer or two with the real people of this country.

Eldora is exactly what I’m after.

Let me know if you’ll be there: joekinsey@gmail.com

Another suggestion that caught my eye was from Jess in Alabama who suggested the World Games that will be held in Birmingham where they’re supposed to have sumo wrestling.

Jess writes:

If you come, let me know, and my husband & I will meet up for some beers & bbq.

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Sumo wrestling? Are you kidding me? And I don’t have to go all the way to Japan to see the big dogs in the world of sumo? Let me check my schedule on that one.

Chris B. writes:

Hi, Joe — You may find it challenging to get tickets for the Bananas. Apparently they have a circa-1990-Redskins-level waiting list, so jump now.

If you can’t, I recommend The Boone Bigfoots (yes, not Bigfeet; their logo is the monster of legend). It’s where the hula ball pictures came from last summer. We’re likely going on 6/3 to see the Native American National Team (how cool is that?) and for the Saturday night game against the Disco Turkeys (another great logo). The same guy does the marketing for the Bananas. I talked to him on the concourse and he said “If you know the score, you’re missing the point of minor league ball.”

https://www.bigfootsbaseball.com/tickets

Sounds like you have a great summer coming up!

The marketing guy definitely understands why fans show up to minor league baseball.

Speaking of baseball, I was throwing around the idea of the Field of Dreams game in Iowa as a father-son trip. It’s on a Thursday and that’s my annual northern Michigan canoe weekend, so it would take some serious driving, but I’m not ruling out making that my big Fox News Corp. ask of the summer. I think that would be the ultimate father-son Screencaps moment of 2022.

Keep the suggestions rolling in. I think you have an idea of what I’m after here.

A TNML sticker request I can’t say ‘no’ to

• Andy F. in St. Louis writes:

Hi Joe, I’m an orthodontist in St Louis and have been reading screencaps every day for quite a while. I told my wife to check it out and after she did she was hooked. She does 99 % of our yard work while I man the grill and crush the drinks. Since we are a little older and our kids are grown we don’t have great stories to share now but I coached everything and have loved your reader comments about it. We are golfers and love Michigan as well. Keep up the great work and thanks. If you have another sticker her name is Kathy… …. ….

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I’m not joking that the sticker supply is nearly zero, and I was holding onto the remaining stock for special requests. Andy and Kathy just hit me in the sweet spot. As any smart marketer knows, you need to keep expanding your reach, and for TNML, that means including women who love to mow. Dana B. in Indiana was one of the innovators in that category. You might remember her as the bus driver who wears her TNML shirt to work because it’s incredibly comfortable and she loves to mow.

Now Kathy is in as well.

Don’t go thinking I’m changing up TNML and it’s going to go woke. Listen to what Andy is saying here — his wife is hooked on Screencaps, too! This is dream wife material for some of you guys.

Have I changed Screencaps as more women have started reading? NO! Yes, there have been a few shirtless, sweaty Troy Aikman photos here and there for the ladies, but those have been harmless.

Commissioner ruling: Kathy gets a sticker.

Remember Craig V.’s trip where he was trying to keep his kids off tablets for their trip to Florida?

• Craig V. sent in this report earlier in the week:

Greetings from the Hilton Garden Inn in Perrysburg. Appreciate you dialing up some good weather for my trip to NWOH. I had to give a shout-out to the screencaps community for the great suggestions for the family road trip last week. Everything went out without a hitch and the Dollar Store shopping spree paid huge dividends.

I had to share a story and some thoughts from the trip back. We made our only stop on the trip northbound in a town called Falkville, AL. I swear this Love’s truck stop had to have been the 5th or 6th most populous town in Alabama that day. Anyway, there were a couple of service members at the Subway grabbing lunch. And so many kids came up to them and thanked/admired them—mine included which was a super proud dad moment. And that gave me a little hope that the future is still bright.

So as we were back on the road and I was listening to Masters coverage, it got me thinking about things that are truly pure. So for the next couple hours I compiled a list in my head and I’m sure I’ve missed dozens if not hundreds of items. Here’s what I’ve got in no particular order:

  1. Kids interacting with service members or first responders
  2. Augusta National
  3. Participating in a mutually enjoyed hobby with your dad or just spending time with your dad
  4. A young kid’s laugh
  5. Talking about yards with your neighbor
  6. Holding your child for the first time

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Am I reading this right that Craig V. was just down the road from me staying at the outdoor mall? This area really is the Crossroads of America. I swear, there’s a Screencaps reader rolling through here at least once a week for some sort of trip. At this point, I could probably open up a Screencaps-themed hotel — Paige VanZant suite, the NY Strip suite, the PGA golf memes junior suite, the Clay Travis penthouse with plenty of hair product in the bathroom, etc. — and you guys would have it filled on a nightly basis.

While I’m spitballing, just think of how fun a Screencaps hotel lobby would be. I’m talking Golden Tee machines, Busch Light on draft in the ‘cook your own burger’ bar featuring Traegers and Blackstones. There wouldn’t be a labor shortage at the Screencaps hotel. You’d cook your own food with other fellow Screencaps readers and for fellow travelers because you actually enjoy cooking for others.

Need a keg changed? There are at least 1-2 Screencaps hotel guests at all times that know how to change out barrels.

The wake-up call is Clay railing on COVID.

North Dakota blizzard update:

• Matt R. in Dickinson, ND checks in:

Just a quick update on the spring storm. Day 2 has been worse than Day 1. With a grand total of 20+ inches of snow and 50mph wind gusts today has pretty much crippled the city. A Snow Emergency Declaration remains in effect and there will be no garbage route collections until Monday. School has been canceled for Thursday already for the third day in a row. Fellow Screencap readers in the area stay safe!

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I’m out, Matt. No way am I surviving that in April. That looks awesome for January, but I have to say it’s very nice to see green grass. God bless those who keep North Dakota humming along. You’re a special breed of Americans.

On battery-powered mowers

I wasn’t expecting to hear from my neighbor Mike that he has gone down the battery-powered mower rabbit hole, but that’s exactly what has happened.

Mike reports:

This mower takes two batteries. I cut my entire lawn and used 3/4 of one battery. And it’s self-propelled. Super quiet. I got 30% off in January. I think I paid $427 shipped. 25″ cut.

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While I’m not anti-battery-powered mowers, I was waiting for some early adopters to provide updates on how these things work, how long the battery lasts, how long until you’ll need to go to the store to buy new batteries, etc.

Any other users out there? I think we had one guy who bought a six-battery mower who wasn’t pleased. Let’s see some more reviews from the battery-powered community.

And with that, I’m out. It was an early morning writing on Elon Musk’s hostile takeover bid for Twitter, and now I need to get moving before his TED talk later this morning.

Get out there and have a great day across this great country. The sun is back out here in Ohio and the grass is on ARod PEDs right now. The turf is looking like McGwire circa 1998 and it’s Opening Day for my mowing season.

Take care.

Email: joekinsey@gmail.com

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Written by Joe Kinsey

I'm an Ohio guy, born in Dayton, who roots for Ohio State and can handle you guys destroying the Buckeyes, Urban Meyer and everything associated with Columbus.

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