Paige Spiranac Rates Sports By How Hard The Athletes Party

The world’s number one golf influencer and click machine Paige Spiranac fired up the content-creating machine Tuesday and decided to rank sports by how hard their athletes’ party.

This is why Paige is the content queen. She pumps out a one-minute, twenty-eight-second video, throws in a topic that guys will want to hear about — partying — shares a few memories of her partying days and we have a click-thru beast.

Working off a quote from the Presidents Cup, Paige-views went to work.

“Kevin Kisner said it was one of the most talented groups of guys he’s ever seen on the golf course and one of the worst groups of partiers that he’s ever been around,” Spiranac said. “So I’m going to rate each sport and how hard I think they party.”

Well then, let’s get after it girlfriend. I’m watching that video.

Basketball = 3.2

“They’re like reformed party girls. They used to get after it and now they like a nice glass of wine.”

Golf = 7.6

“I’m going to disagree with Kisner here. I’d like to see any athlete try to out-drink John Daly. It would not end well for them. And fun fact, Xander Schauffele and I went to the same college and he had the party house and your girl got white girl wasted maybe once or twice.”

Baseball = 8.2

“I have never seen someone throw back beers like I have some of these baseball players. It is quite impressive. And back in college, they had the best jungle juice around.

Football = 9

“They’re not quite professional partiers, but they like to have fun.

Hockey = 10

“Hockey players are just built different. These guys are absolutely insane. They will go into a game, get their two front teeth knocked out, and then get completely sh–faced and do it all over the next day. And the next day. They’re in a league of their own.”

I hate to disagree with Paige-views, but I have to push back a little bit on a couple of these ratings.

Golf seems high, especially professional golf. The partying scene out of these guys is light. Yes, you’ll get Fat Pat Perez crushing beers and Brooks Koepka will get drunk and dance on a yacht, but it feels like golf needs to be in the 5.5 range.

And if there are partiers in baseball, where are they at? I need evidence the sport has a pulse on the party scene. Mike Trout’s not partying. Where are the Mike Napolis in this sport? Baseball seems completely off the radar as far as partiers.

Baseball needs to be down in the 6.0 range.

Other than that, Paige-views is on target. Be careful if you ever decide to drink with hockey players. Keep in mind they’re shipped off from their Canadian homes at like 12 and they start partying while playing in the OHL.

Good work, Paige-views.

Written by Joe Kinsey

I'm an Ohio guy, born in Dayton, who roots for Ohio State and can handle you guys destroying the Buckeyes, Urban Meyer and everything associated with Columbus.

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