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Paige Spiranac March Madness Content, Clay & Lara Do Vegas & Ohio State’s Chris Holtmann Sends Sister Jean Home To Chicago

On March Madness

• The Indiana Hoosiers are out, but Mark P. in Indiana had his faith in college basketball restored. Mark writes:

Joe; thank you and the SC crew for the good vibes in getting the Hoosiers back on track and back on my watch list. Even though St Mary’s beat us up; i was glad we got that far. I may be sending you an email soon about the Reds so that the good vibes can be spread to them and if that works Powerball is next on my list for SC crew!!!

• Dana B. writes:

I love March Madness. Nothing like it. However, I have some things about the games that are annoying my husband and I. Wondering if fellow Screencaps community feels the same.

  • Masks on CHEERLEADERS. Masks on the BAND. Just…wow.
  • Slapping 5 with every teammate after every FT, make or miss. Weak.
  • The RIDICULOUS ORANGE SUPER BALLS being used. They bounce differently off the rim and spin off differently, too. They are so sticky, they stick in the net. Players know this is true. Hate the look, too.
  • Coach’s pullovers (most). Groce’s life preserver vest!!
  • Players always falling after a crappy, off-balance shot, hoping the refs will bail them out with a foul.
  • HAIR. New rule coaches should have. If you have to TOUCH, MOVE, OR BRUSH your hair while in the game, you are OUT, or get that shit cut. Your individuality is getting in the team’s way.  Man buns are absolutely Comical in 2022. Weaves falling off in games.
  • Announcers/Commentators trying too hard to carve their niche. 
  • The entire studio crew from Tru TV. 
  • Rex Chapman.

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I’m right there with Dana and her husband on pretty much everything she sent here. The masks thing is beyond ridiculous. I picture that lone holdout way up the chain of command who refuses to give up his/her power. What is the NCAA going to do if all the cheerleaders rip off their masks? Is there an official who’s willing to have the police kick out the team? Threaten them with jail time? Dumb, dumb, dumb.

I hadn’t thought of the basketballs being used, but I did see in the Wright State-Arizona game a jump shot hit off the rim and rocketed straight up higher than the backboard and straight down through the basket. She’s right, it was a kid slamming a superball into concrete and watching it launch.

Here’s my big beef with the tournament action so far: the lack of offensive creativity. The lack of pushing the ball, making the defense uncomfortable. I cannot for the life of me understand why some of these teams that score 40 points don’t push the damn ball. They clearly cannot score in an offensive set. Let’s get the ball up and down the court, into the lane and look for two foul shots.

Get a rebound? Move the damn ball. Gooooooooo! Outlet passes. Let’s move the ball, folks.

• Jason D. writes:

I know very few people care about Wright State but when you are reading Screencaps and see you have been given a trademarked title of Wright State Insider, you answer the call.  My Raiders kept within striking distance for 27 minutes but Arizona’s size was just too much to handle for a full 40. 35% shooting and getting outrebounded 50-30 is a recipe for disaster. It was a fun season that went from the 4 seed in our own league tournament to the First Four to a date with a #1 seed in the big dance. Those are sports memories to cherish, there is no telling how much time will pass before I get to experience it again.

The great thing about Screencaps is that even as my team was getting hammered, I couldn’t help but think about Britt T. and at least beating the 21.5 point spread.  Luckily Aizona missed a late three and a couple Wright State walk-ons went 3-4 from the free throw line in mop up minutes to bring the final score to 87-70. I hope you cashed in big on that bet Britt! Good luck to all the other Screencaps readers with teams still alive. 

You have built something great here Joe.

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I was rooting hard for the Raiders when they had Arizona’s lead down to eight early in the second half. That’s a damn good Arizona team and I have to say that Wright State was one of the more impressive 16-seeds. At least they weren’t boring.

• Jose R. writes:

First, condolences to Jason D, and all of Wright State nation.  Please note, there is plenty of room on the Arizona bandwagon as we finally made our return to March Madness.  Wright State put up a great effort in the first half, but just couldn’t match up with our size down low.  After years of darkness hanging over the program, it felt great to see Arizona having fun, running up and down the court, playing as a team, and not worrying about individual stats. 

Am I the only one who finds the humor in the Buick/NCAA commercial asking for equal coverage in women’s collegiate sports, while at the same time the NCAA celebrated a guy shattering women’s swimming records?  Please tell me I am not the only one.  The Nissan commercial that has the mascot from Tempe, a state school, driving the Duke mascot is hilarious.  Afterall, that is the only way that school’s mascot will ever go to the NCAA tournament, as a chauffeur.  Bear Down!!! and Go Arizona!!!

On brackets, ‘Don’t Blink’ and quality time with your kids

• Craig V. writes:

I don’t know if this is sacrilege or not, but with 75 and sun yesterday I elected to play golf in lieu of bingeing hoop all day. Even though the first two days of the tournament should be national holidays, I didn’t regret that decision one bit.

So to kind of come full circle on a ‘Caps topic and incorporating “don’t blink” into this year’s family bracket challenge, I had my 7 year old daughter and 5 year old son fill out brackets based solely upon mascots. I threw in $20, winner take all.

What I’ve found is that I can sit there and watch basketball and my kids don’t complain they can’t watch their shows on Netflix. They are dialed in because $20 to kids that age is a kings’ ransom. It’s essentially a cheat code to watch hoops and they want to root for whomever they picked.

After day 1, I’m man enough to admit I’m in DFL behind my wife, son, and daughter. But here’s the icing on the cake…my 5 year old asked me this morning before he goes to school, “hey dad, when I get home from school, will you watch hoop with me?” That’s not a yes, that’s a Stone Cold Steve Austin “HELL YEA.”

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That’s what I’m talkin’ about, Craig! I love this movement we have going on throughout the community where the kids are catching the fever and picking up on how awesome it is to have days full of crazy finishes — we could use more buzzer-beaters this year — and the emotional rollercoaster that comes with this tournament.

Now, it also helps that my kids know there’s going to be a popcorn snack bar for the game. A nice snack spread has been essential. Those massive bags of Skinny Pop or whatever it’s called from Costco seem to be a big hit through two nights.

On cleaning up the yard after another winter

• Gerard W. writes:

Roger C.’s lawn looks amazing!  Northern Illinois is several weeks away.  Spent yesterday morning removing the rocks from the yard left by the snow plow.  This “paddlewheel” is a lot easier than a rake….

On frustrations of spring

• Robert C. writes:

Good morning Joe,

I had shoulder surgery in February, can’t swing a golf club. My sarcastic wife agreed I should get new irons, but my doctor says no golf before May. She said that on purpose. Now all I can think about are these irons.

Lastly, I can get along with a fan of any team. I have trouble with those who don’t have a favorite team. I just don’t trust those people.

Keep speaking the truth Joe!

On dogs and goats who love the UPS driver

• I spent part of my Friday night, between TV timeouts during the Michigan State game, on the couch binge watching dogs, goats, pigs and swans hanging out with UPS drivers. I know it’s not the most outlandish Friday night, but after a very busy 36-hour period writing way too much about transgender swimming, I sure needed to see animals going nuts over their favorite delivery drivers.

On ice cream sundaes

• Jay J. writes:

I grew up outside of Muncie, IN, about 25 minutes from Upland, Indiana, home to Ivanhoes. It’s a wonderful ice cream parlor. I’m not sure I’d urge you to drive kids 6 hours to get ice cream, but if you’re ever within an hour of Ivanhoes, I’d recommend it. I attended Ball State, and we organized regular  ‘Hoes runs up there. Great memories!

If you try all 100 of their sundaes (or shakes), you can get a free t-shirt, and a little name plaque on the wall. After my Mom died in 2005, i took my Dad there, and he fell in love with the place. He’d go up 2-3x a week for ice cream. I told him to put getting his name on the wall a part of his bucket list, and he agreed. Our tradition was, after he had taken his first bite of his sundae was to tell him “Congratulations, you’re now one chocolate sundae closer to death”.

Sadly, he died before he finished his 100 card. So I started driving up there (90 minutes each way) to fill in the rest of his card. For the 100th sundae, I invited my siblings to to join me. Once up there I confessed I had finished the card for my deceased Dad. The woman behind the counter had a sad look on her face : “Our next truck doesn’t come in for two weeks, and all i got are 3X t-shirts.  Is that okay?  Sure!  My wife is gonna add it to a quit, so no worries. 

The only bad part is he died in 2009 and I didn’t finish the card until 2010, so some future anthropologist is gonna be confused.

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And with that, I’m out for the afternoon. It’s time to build a box for the basement receiver, cable box, and the wife’s video game consoles. It’s also time to get my eyes off a computer screen for several hours.

Let’s have a great day and great weekend across the country.

Email: joekinsey@gmail.com

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Written by Joe Kinsey

I'm an Ohio guy, born in Dayton, who roots for Ohio State and can handle you guys destroying the Buckeyes, Urban Meyer and everything associated with Columbus.

3 Comments

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  1. South Carolina beating up on a HBCU, a game in which the announcers took a moment of silence to show support for a bill that forbids teachers from discussing sexuality with elementary school students. Pretty nice sport you’ve got there. The only thing that can save womens basketball is about 100 dudes pulling a Lia Thomas

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