It’s time for the final football game of the 2014-15 season and that means it’s also time for Outkick’s final football drinking game of the year.
Wipe the tears from your eyes and stock up on your alcohol in time for Sunday’s game.
Here we go:
1. Any time it’s mentioned that this is Tom Brady and Bill Belichick’s sixth Super Bowl, drink.
If highlights of past Super Bowls are shown, drink until the highlights leave the screen. When highlights of the David Tyree catch are shown, drink to the count of 18, in honor of the Patriot wins that season.
2. When deflategate, the pressure of footballs, or the controversy surrounding the NFL’s investigation is mentioned, drink.
If the word “balls” is used in a manner that would have Michael Scott scream, “That’s what she said!” drink anew.
3. If someone in your house shushes you during the timeouts, but talks loudly during the actual game, you may assess penalty drinks.
The biggest challenge of Super Bowl parties is actual football fans have to interact with non-football fans.
So penalty drinks are allowed.
4. Al Michaels does not pronounce the letter H.
It’s incredible how good of a broadcaster he is considering he only uses 25 letters of the alphabet.
Every time he says a word that should have an H, but he pronounces without one — (h)uge is a great example — drink.
5. If Marshawn Lynch grabs his crotch, do a shot.
If he’s flagged for it, do a second shot.
6. Russell Wilson is under six feet tall. Every time his height is mentioned, drink.
If his height is mentioned in conjunction with his mobility, drink until the count of 12 in honor of the 12th man.
7. Any time Tom Brady is shown on the sideline and anyone, male or female, remarks on how damn attractive he is, drink.
Let’s be honest, even if you don’t say it out loud, you’re thinking it, so drink if Brady’s shown without his helmet on the sideline.
8. Did you know that Seattle fans are loud? Or that they’ve trademarked the 12th man?
Any time either of these are mentioned, drink.
9. Any time Gisele, Robert Kraft, or Jon Bon Jovi are shown on television, drink.
And now let’s pause for Victoria’s Secret’s Super Bowl commercial this year.
10. Marshawn Lynch is a beast.
Anytime beast, beast mode or Skittles is mentioned, drink. If Cris Collinsworth criticizes Lynch for not speaking to the media, drink while holding your crotch.
11. Katy Perry is performing at halftime.
If anyone makes a joke referencing her big balloons, drink.
12. If Rob Gronkowski spikes the football so hard, he sets off an earthquake, drink.
If he follows it up by dancing on the sideline, do a shot.
13. “Will Tom Brady challenge Richard Sherman?”
Every time Richard Sherman is shown on the screen announcers discuss whether he’ll be challenged. When a quarterback throws in his direction, announcers discuss the challenge. When this happens, drink.
14. Danny Amendola and Julian Edelman are both white wide receivers.
Any time they are described as “crafty,” “smart route runners,” “deceptively quick,” “sneaky athletic,” or any other phrase that is only used to describe white receivers, drink.
If you want to play along with Outkick readers feel free to add the hashtag #outkick to your Tweets or Facebook comments.