Orlando Shaw Has 22 Children By 14 Women
Orlando Shaw has 22 children by 14 different women.
The local Nashville CBS station caught up with him outside the Metro Courthouse and conducted an interview about how this could happen.
The result?
Interview gold.
You're going to want to watch again and again.
Because it is completely and totally spectacular.
There are so many amazing things about this video, but I want you to watch it before you read my breakdown.
Your Wednesday is about to be made.
NewsChannel5.com | Nashville News, Weather
Here are my favorite things about this video in chronological order:
1. Orlando Shaw's a wordsmith.
"These are my siblings, nobody elses," says an impassioned Shaw.
I know, shocking, the kind of guy who fathers 22 children by 14 women does not know what the word siblings means.
2. How many children do you have?
"Roughly 18."
Roughly!
And he missed four kids!
Do you think that's because he believes that having 18 kids sounds much better than having 22?
3. By how many mothers?
"17."
So he inflated the number of baby mommas by three while decreasing his kids by four.
Unless, and this is what I choose to believe, there are actually other baby mommas out there who haven't even bothered to attempt to get child support.
4. Are you able to pay child support?
"I can't pay no child support right now."
Double negative.
You sly devil, you.
(FYI, taxpayers are paying $7500 a month to support Shaw's 22 kids.)
5. Don't worry though, Shaw is mentoring children because he can't make his child support payments.
These mentoring sessions absolutely, positively, need to be televised.
6. Does Shaw want more kids?
"Don't want no more kids, I want to be fixed....I got kids now that are 15, 16, and 17 years old and they're a mess."
So you're telling me the teenage kids of a man with 22 kids ranging in age from 17 to infant twin daughters are not excelling?
7. Can you name all of your kids? (Ah, the Cromartie question).
An indignant Shaw rises to the challenge.
"All my boys names is Orlando. One of my boys names is Tyshawn, one of my boys names is Qualando. Then I've got Orlandria, Onesha, Omeeka. Okay, you get what I'm saying, I can name 'em. I got Miracle, I got Temeia, I got Will, I got 'em everywhere."
Will!
What odds would you have given me on Will after these first eight names?
FYI, Shaw has 22 children.
He named nine.
8. Orlando Shaw's life motto is quite profound.
"To be honest with you, don't nothing come to a dreamer, but....(long pause) a dream."
Well said, Orlando, well said.
9. Orlando has a criminal record and has spent time in jail.
So he's a felon with 14 baby mommas.
10. Can we please interview the baby mommas to find out what they were thinking?
I'd like to blame Orlando Shaw for the 22 kids, but he's clearly an idiot. And incapable of turning down sex. But what in the world are these women thinking? I'll give baby mommas one, two and three a pass. But how do you become the 4th, 5th, 6th, 7th, 8th, 9th, 10th, 11th, 12th, 13th and 14th different baby momma?
If you saw the guy was a deadbeat dad and already had 20 kids, even if you decided to sleep with him -- he must be hung like Ron Jeremy -- wouldn't you make him wear a condom?
11. What's Orlando's financial plan for the future?
"I play the hell out of the Tennessee lottery. I literally do, I play the number tickets, the scratch offs."
Awesome.
12. Brown says he still has a relationship with all of his baby mommas.
"Some of 'em are better than others."
Wait, some of them are good?
How in the world is this possible?
There are men reading this right now who have one wife and that wife hates them. And those men probably don't have babies with 13 other women.
This is amazing.
13. Will you be there for your kids?
"If don't nobody kill me or I don't die in a car wreck, I'm here."
Good to see Shaw is a realist.
14. But how can Shaw be a father to 22 kids at once?
"It's called cell phones."
Dr. Phil nods pensively.
15. What about kids visiting to his house how do you manage that?
"Rotate, rotate."
Ah.
16. Was contraception not an option?
"I was young. Ambitious. I was just young and ambitious and I loved women. Hey, you can't knock no man for loving women."
How about the sheer odds on getting 14 different women pregnant to deliver 22 babies.
Think about the amount of unprotected sex Shaw was having. Especially when you factor in the inevitable abortions and miscarriages.
Hell, think about the amount of sex Shaw could have if he actually had a job.
17. Question: "You're a handsome guy, the ladies like you?"
"The ladies love me. They don't like me, they love me."
At this point a large black woman walks by and rubs Shaw's arm.
Baby momma 15 is on the way.
Somewhere Travis Henry is shaking his head and thinking, "Bro, you need to control yourself."
...
Here's the actual interview that aired on News Channel 5 last night. Shaw's initial goal was 50 kids. Scroll down for the video.