Zach Dean
Videos by OutKick
Happy Cinco De Mayo from the great state of Florida, which is currently housing Olivia Dunne, the soon-to-be Stanley Cup champion Florida Panthers, and the best Hooters establishments in America.
Come for the sane politics, stay for the scenery!
Another week in the books here at Nightcaps, and what a week it’s been. We’ve got empty Bud Light lines at Fenway Park, Kevin Costner getting divorced and being accused of impregnating another woman and the WHO officially ending the pandemic!
We won’t get fooled again.
Everyone take your masks off, we’re free! It’s over! And for you normal folks who never wore a mask in the first place because they are and always have been useless … well, continue living your lives, I guess.
Not much is going to change for us.
I know everyone has Cinco De Mayo happy hours to get to and the clock is ticking, so I’ll be brief today. We’re gonna stick with what we know, which is Olivia Dunne in a bikini, Hooters girls celebrating the Panthers, crapping on Bud Light and more scandalous behavior at Alabama.
Dance with the partner you came with, right? No messing around today — we’re giving you the tried-and-true classics.
Give me just five minutes of your time and then we can all head over to Trump Tower and snag a taco bowl before getting weird tonight.
We love Hispanics!
Olivia Dunne starts summer vacation in her favorite bikini
That tweet still makes me laugh out loud to this day. One of the funniest Trump moments of all time. Like him or hate him, the I love Hispanics at the end is so on brand for Donald J. Trump. Hilarious.
OK, let’s allow Olivia Dunne to be our first Tequila shot of the afternoon, shall we? Head on a swivel, Breckie Hill, because Livvy’s enjoying a little summer vacation down in Hutchinson Island.
And she ain’t exactly be secretive about it on Snapchat.
Nothing like a little R&R for Olivia Dunne after a long year of making millions of dollars and becoming a Sports Illustrated model.
Combine that with LSU making a run to the championship AND constant attacks from Breckie Hill, and our girl here needs some down time in the Florida sun.
Welcome to my state, Livvy! Great place — unless you like lockdowns and biological men competing in women’s sports. If that’s the case, we’re probably not the right fit for you.
This HBO documentary on Alabama Rush looks insane
While Olivia Dunne is down in Florida sunbathing and getting rich, the girls over at rival Alabama are about to blow the damn lid off that school.
Oh, you thought hitting women and murdering people was gonna be the worst ‘Bama faced this year? Can I interest you in a little documentary with serious hazing and racism vibes?
I can’t, but HBO sure as hell can — and will!
Yep — there is ZERO shot the folks over at Alabama wanted this documentary to ever see the light of day. It looks insane, and I’m sure it will be.
What a way to cap what’s been just an awful year for Alabama. Jermaine Burton caught on camera hitting a female in October, the Brandon Miller situation in February and now this.
Could you imagine working in ‘Bama PR department right now? Is there a worse job on the planet? Maybe, maybe Bud Light’s PR person? Meghan Markle’s personal aid? The poor bastard who has to write game recaps for the 6-26 Oakland Athletics?
Yeah, it’s true … they’re really 6-26! How bad is that?
Anyway, I’m gonna be glued to this bad boy in a few weeks. Can’t wait. The content we get out of this documentary may carry OutKick right into football season.
The Univ of Alabama PR department pic.twitter.com/uFcmoNWFST
— Landon Beamon (@LandonBeamon11) May 4, 2023
— Jack Howard (@RollJackRoll) May 4, 2023
Drink a Modelo today for Bud Light
By the way, I realized right around here that I forgot to mention Alabama’s latest scandal with their Gamblin’ Man baseball coach, but chose to keep it here instead of rewriting the above portion just to show you how many scandals they’ve had this year.
I literally can’t keep count. Wild.
Anyway, Happy Cinco De Mayo to all those who celebrate! It’s an especially special holiday for Modelo Especial, and social media took this opportunity to make sure to stock up on that instead of Bud Light.
Now, I know what you’re all thinking: isn’t Modelo owned by Anheuser-Busch? Yes! You are correct. Except not in the US of A, baby!
Turns out, Modelo is owned by Anheuser-Busch InBev everywhere except the U.S., where it’s owned by the New York-based Constellation Brands. True story.
See, you learn things here at Nightcaps. We’re not all just Olivia Dunne and Breckie Hill, you know.
By the way, Modelo is a damn good beer, too. It’s the No. 2-selling beer in the country behind Bud Light, but experts this week warned it could take the top spot by year’s end if the boycott rages on through the summer months.
Buckle up!
Emptying the tank for a big weekend
It’s a Friday, it’s a holiday and it’s Kentucky Derby weekend — let’s empty the damn tank and get out of here.
Speaking of the Kentucky Derby, how about NFL Network’s Ian Rapoport having a horse in the race this year?
From Front Office Sports:
The NFL Insider is part owner of “Jace’s Road,” a three-year-old colt, along with Joy Taylor and Lindsay Czarniak of Fox Sports.
Rapoport, the bane of rival ESPN Insider Adam Schefter, will be on the scene in Churchill Downs for the 149th Annual Run for the Roses on May 6.
The Rapoports will be ready to enter the winner’s circle in Kentucky if Jace’s Road, a 50-1 longshot running out of post position 12, comes through.
50/1?? Not bad. We throwing a little money behind Ian, Joy and Lindsay tomorrow? Hell, I will — if anything just because he’s so much better than Adam Schefter.
And how about this little nugget from later in this interview:
Number of contacts in his phone: “Oh man, 5,000 or 6,000 probably. A lot.”
What do we think Ian’s screen time is? We all get that same notification every Sunday morning with the depressing rundown of how much screen time we used the past week, right? His must be insane.
While we’re on the topic of waking up to depressing news, how about this little whoopsie-daisy from one Morgan Wallen fan?
I know that video ain’t from a week ago, but it’s still funny and it’s still the first time I’m seeing it. And remember our No. 1 rule here at Nightcaps — if I’m just seeing something, it’s brand new.
Anyway, I had the same thought as this guy in the comments when I first saw Fake Morgan here:
If tiger king and Morgan Wallen had a baby, it would be this guy.
Yep, 100%. Spot on.
Finally, here’s something to make you cry while you’re buzzed and peeing in the dive bar bathroom tonight around 11.
Imagine going nearly a full year thinking your dog escaped and subsequently died, only to see Juice (Kardashian) here pop up on a random Facebook group.
What a rush. Dogs are the best. Cats suck. I wouldn’t drive to the neighboring county for a cat, much less 1,100 miles.
As OutKick’s David Hookstead once said, which would you rather “in the foxhole with you? A dog or a cat?”
Don’t know why he said that, but David’s a big military guy, if you couldn’t tell.
Hooters girls have Florida Panthers fever
Ok, that’s all I have for you today. You’re dismissed early for Cinco De Mayo!
Here are the South Florida Hooters girls enjoying this magical Panthers run on your way out.
Let’s have a damn night.
OutKick Nightcaps is a daily column set to run Monday through Friday at 4 p.m. (roughly, we’re not robots).
Did Olivia Dunne pick the right bathing suit? Email me at Zach.Dean@OutKick.com.
