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I made the mistake of watching Bill Simmons’ Woodstock ’99 documentary on HBO

Last night, I was in the mood for something other than the Olympics, Simone Biles debates & baseball so I gave Bill Simmons-led Woodstock ’99 documentary a chance. It turned out to be a trainwreck where Bill’s team of blue checkmark producers worked off a premise that Woodstock ’99 is a reflection of who we are as a nation today.

It worked off the notion that ’99 was the culmination of toxic masculinity and “white dudes” being white dudes. Big J deep-thinkers Maureen Callahan, who reported for Spin from the festival, and Wesley Morris, who spent his college years in the 1990s at Yale and later worked for Bill Simmons at Grantland, were brought in to be the cultural critics for this documentary.

It didn’t take long before Callahan and Morris started talking about Woodstock ’99 through a 2020 lens, and I think you can figure where it all went from there. Morris goes into a deep-thinking analysis of those “toxic” white guys taking the cue from Rapper DMX to yell “n—ga” during a step and repeat part of his song “For My Dogs” as if that wasn’t some common act out of those white guys in 1999.

Then we have Moby acting like he’s still miserable to this day for taking money to perform at a late-night rave at the festival. Moby sits there acting like he has survivor guilt. The moviemakers couldn’t have found a bigger list of woke, lib, BLM-loving people to act as the revisionists for this look back at 1999.

Were there sexual assaults at Woodstock ’99 as the film focuses on extensively? Yes, and there were 17 reported sexual assaults at a 2016 Swedish music festival that featured the likes of Mumford and Sons. Sexual assaults at festivals isn’t forever exclusive to Woodstock ’99. Maureen and Wesley want you to believe that it was the nu-metal that caused chaos at Woodstock ’99 while there are Mumford and Sons-type festivals that have had the same issues.

Add it all up and Simmons’ crew of wokes produced what they think will play to their woke friends in 2021. They played to political division. They played to those who hate white males. They played to those who hate Fred Durst and think he’s responsible for what Woodstock ’99 turned into.

At the end of the film, Simmons’ team wants you to believe that festivals have learned from Woodstock ’99 and have changed for the better. They want you to believe that Coachella, because of how woke and diverse it is, became the gold standard and then they fail to mention that a Teen Vogue reporter interviewed 54 women who reported being sexually harassed at the 2018 festival. There were seven reported rapes at the 2018 Coachella.

To put it bluntly, HBO’s Woodstock ’99 is the typical bullshit you’ve come to expect. Nothing more. Nothing less.

• Now, while I’m fired up today, let’s get to Simone Biles. Here’s the note I wrote down this morning: Biles hit the restart button on a video game then she blamed it all on her mental health.

The new way to get out of tough spots appears to be to hit the video game restart button and then play the Naomi Osaka card of blaming mental health because at that point it’s a defense shield that shall not be penetrated, according to the media elites. Doubters are not even allowed to question an athlete when they play the mental health card.

The new line from the elites is that “these women don’t owe us anything.” Have fun listening to that line across your social media channels and news outlets.

• Paul B. sent in a story that I encourage all of you to click on:

Hey Joe,

I play in a 40+ wood bat softball league.  It is awesome in that it allows some of us getting long in the tooth, (I am 52), to get out and get some scratch that competition itch in a “safer” format against like individuals.

Last week, we had 2 news stations come out and do a report on our 89yr old pitcher Dickie.  The man is an inspiration!  I know guys in the league that keep playing just because they do not want to get shown up by 89yr old Dickie!  I thought this might be good enough for some of your content on OutKick.

Go here to watch Dickie in action and then pray you can still do anything close to this at 89. This man is a true inspiration.

• I received my Thursday Night Mowing League hat on Tuesday. It goes without saying that it is immediately at the top of my hat rotation.

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Written by Joe Kinsey

Joe Kinsey is the Senior Director of Content of OutKick and the editor of the Morning Screencaps column that examines a variety of stories taking place in real America.

Kinsey is also the founder of OutKick’s Thursday Night Mowing League, America’s largest virtual mowing league.

Kinsey graduated from University of Toledo.


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  1. I would’ve really loved to see an actual Woodstock ‘99 documentary from a neutral perspective. Unfortunately, once I saw the trailer for this one you could tell exactly where it was headed.

  2. I remember when Bill Simmons was the “rebel”, the “outsider”. But just like Dan Patrick in his industry, and Howard Stern and David Letterman before him, they either die as an outsider, or live long enough to see themselves become the woke “man” they once fought against. Of course, this happens once they get paid.

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