The beauty of capitalism will forever lie in the ridiculous jobs it creates.
From professional mourners to the U.S. Secretary of Transportation, our great nation has granted people the liberty to follow their hearts and potentially make a buck along the way.
One of the more ridiculous roles that have sprung from being overly rich and lazy is the role of a “professional baby-namer.”
Based in New York, 33-year-old Taylor A. Humphrey is doing the Lord’s work by naming silver-spooned babies for $10,000 a pop.
In 2020, Humphrey made an estimated $150,000 from naming over a hundred babies, allegedly all from different mothers.
“If you look at the most popular baby names, it’s such a telltale sign of our cultural values and our aspiration,” said Humphrey.
Humphrey cites a background in marketing, branding and empathy as her north star for pinpointing the perfect baby name.
“Why not charge less?” you ask …
Well, four years at NYU didn’t come cheap.
Though her picks may often be unorthodox, Humphrey believes that her knack for nicknames has led to countless happy parents
“Sometimes you see a name like Brave on my list, and you think, ‘I’m just not going to name my kid Brave,'” Humphrey expressed, calling out cowardly children she’s named in the past.
“But it might be worth putting on a maybe list as a thought for a middle name.”
With booming inflation and the price of gas averaging $6 a gallon in LA, not everyone can afford Humphrey’s expertise … which is why OutKick will name your baby.
Send your request for a baby name to @AlejandroAveela
NOTICE: Newborns must be fully vaxxed and boostered to receive a name.
Adult names are priced at $15.