Mrs. Russia 2018 Visits Middle East, Jerry Jones Receives Necklace From Post Malone & Bad Umpiring
I think the Thursday Night Mowing League was formed last night
There I was, sitting on the front porch watching the sun slowly go down across suburbia while enjoying a Busch Light that had been in the garage fridge all winter when a tweet came in from Backwoods NY BBQ. He'd just finished up his Thursday night mowing session and sent the following photo showing off the scene at his backwoods retreat.
And just like that, I think the Thursday Night Mowing League was born. By now you guys get the gist of Thursday night mowing. You clearly understand it's our night to get the yard perfect for the weekend. The last thing you want to be doing on Friday night is mowing after a busy week of busting your ass at work. Saturday is for morning golf and then you return home to the perfect lawn, patio beers, and Yacht Rock.
I know there are new homeowners who read Morning Screencaps. Take it from guys like myself and Backwoods NY BBQ, who have been through the lawn wars over the years. Saturdays are for patio beers, tinkering with your garden, maybe snipping off a limb that's out of control, and maybe even busting out the chainsaw here and there. Don't let your newly-married ass get caught in a pattern where the bride wants to go out for dinner on Thursdays. Tell her that has to wait until the offseason. Now is your time to put the foot down. Make her understand the value of a fresh Thursday night cut.
How will I know you joined the Thursday Night Mowing League? You'll send me pics of your work via social. I need you guys to pose the mower. I need action shots (drinking and mowing?). I need photos of you and the neighbor coordinating your cut lengths so both yards are perfect by Saturday. To be completely honest, I need to see results. Then I'll work on getting some prizes for the TNML MVPs who go above and beyond for the league.
Deal?
And don't send me photos on Saturday claiming you cut on Thursday. You'll immediately be blackballed by the league commissioner.
• Imagine the horror this lady felt when she washed away a $26 million lottery ticket. I've washed away some football tickets I was going to put into a box to look at 20 years from now like Rovell, but never anything like what this lady went through. At least she can sleep at night knowing the $19.7 million one-time payout will go to the California school system instead of her bank account. Lesson learned.
• Here's something to keep on the radar this NFL season. Tom Brady needs to average 289.6 passing yards per game to break Drew Brees' all-time passing yards in Week 4 on the road at...New England. You'll probably hear this a few times over the summer. Just a hunch.
• This weekend's agenda: my wife wants to buy more river rock boulders for a border project. Nothing keeps the flame burning in an 11-year marriage like shopping for rocks. What's it like at 20 years? Is that when we start shopping for caskets? Burial plots? I figure by 30 years we'll be buying a trailer in Florida and Thursday night mowing will be over for good.
Have a great weekend!