Elizabeth Hurley Is Ready For The Weekend, Von Miller Runs Out Of Tat Space & Giants Fan Brings His Rabbit

My mom, the golf course starter, is here for a visit and I get to hear golf course stories

Mom was walking around the kitchen area this morning and saw my bottle of Fireball on a bar shelf and said, "Guys at the course take Fireball out with them," which leads to a conversation about how these guys in their early 60s at my mom's retiree park in Largo, Florida will play the nine-hole course twice and suck down some Fireballs along the way.

Last night, I got to hear about how some guy just barreled up to No. 1 in his golf cart without a tee time, and mom had to lecture him because she had people with a tee time reservation 10 minutes behind him. Of all the jobs my mom has had over her lifetime, I never thought she'd get into the golf course management business. I don't think she's ever picked up a club in her life, but here she is managing tee times, dealing with hoodlum retirees smuggling Fireball and COVID rules and regulations, which led to the story of the old lady who wants to play golf, but she needs a cart to do so. The problem? She doesn't have a cart, and she's not allowed to share a cart with someone else because the park has a strict COVID rule that there will be no cart sharing amongst those who don't reside in the same residence at the golf course.

Another story I heard last night was how the course maintenance director has been there for 20-plus years and treats that course as his baby. It's all he can think about. It's his life. From what I'm hearing, he's the anti-Miguel from the Club Pro Guy course.

Mom will be here a few days before going back to her life in the starter's shed, managing the old people who are now playing as early as possible so they don't get burnt up by the Florida sun. The course is down to half-days, as most of the white hairs have either holed up for the summer or driven north to escape the humidity. Florida 9-hole starters have officially entered the offseason.

• And just like that, $200 billion in Bitcoin has been wiped out as the crypto has dipped below $50,000/coin. Buy the dip? Is this the bottom? You guys have quite a bit to think about this afternoon at the 19th hole after scooting out of work at lunch.

• This is reassuring news. Consumer Reporters says Tesla's autopilot system is easily tricked into thinking someone is in the driver's seat. This comes after two men were killed in a Tesla crash where investigators said they're 100% certain the driver seat was empty when the car crashed. I guess someone has to die to make way for advancements in technology. RIP, fellas.

• How crazy is the card-grading world right now? Professional Sports Authenticator reports they're grading 20,000 cards a day to keep up with the volume that's coming in.

• As for the weekend to-do list, it appears there will be minimal projects since mom is here to visit. After the snow this week, it's probably time to get the mower out and prep for the 83 and sunny that's coming on Tuesday. Time to get ahead of the grass before it requires 2-3 cuts per week.

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Written by
Joe Kinsey is the Senior Director of Content of OutKick and the editor of the Morning Screencaps column that examines a variety of stories taking place in real America. Kinsey is also the founder of OutKick’s Thursday Night Mowing League, America’s largest virtual mowing league. Kinsey graduated from University of Toledo.