NBA Finals Drinking Game

Videos by OutKick

Y’all are clearly a bunch of drunken, desperate louts.

As I scrolled through Twitter last night, several of you were lamenting the fact that there was no drinking game for the NBA Finals on ABC.

Then this morning I woke up and the first email I received was from Vincent L. writing: “I was watching the awesome game last night & pounding 2-4-1 Bud Lights. I thought to myself the only way it could get better is if I were playing along with thousands of Twitter friends to a Clay Travis-inspired drinking game. Sure any drinking game that doesn’t involve Uncle Verne isn’t nearly as fun, but the matchup between the Heat and Thunder will surely leave America inebriated with your guidance. You are the czar of czars so I challenge you to make it happen.”

Your wish is my command.

Come Thursday night, we can all play along under the #nbadrink hashtag.

I’ll need an official scorekeeper. Hopefully our #cbsdrink scorekeeper Ashley, who is now an Atlanta Falcons cheerleader — congrats, will step up.

If not, the job demands to be filled.

Without further ado, here are 13 rules to get you and your friends drunk.

1. Each time LeBron James and Kevin Durant are compared via an on-screen graphic, drink. 

This is almost enough to get you drunk by itself.

2. Whenever Pat Riley is shown grimacing uncomfortably in the crowd, drink.

This will generally happen every time the Miami Heat run an offensive set that can best be described as, “The kind that would make you want to fire a girl’s 7th grade B-team coach.”

3. Each time Jeff Van Gundy or Mike Breen mentions the “restricted area” under the basket, drink.

If Van Gundy discusses injuries that will come from flops, drink anew.

Seriously, when I say, “restricted area,” you hear it in Van Gundy’s voice too, right?

4. Russell Westbrook is your friend who always claims he’s fine even when he’s about to get in a fight.

At least twice a game, OKC teammates have to calm down an irate, on the verge of popping Westbrook.


5. Shane Battier and James Harden draw a lot of charges. 

But they also flop. 

A ton. 

If either man draws a charge, drink. 

If, upon replay, it’s clear the charge is actually a flop, do a shot.  

6. Drink when the camera catches Erik Spoelstra “coaching” during a timeout and at least one of his starters is not in the huddle. 

Pay attention, this happens regularly.  

7. The volume works on our televisions meaning we can hear the crowd in OKC. 

Yet, every OKC home game it’s like announcers forget that technology exists. 

Every time the loudness of the OKC crowd is mentioned, drink.  

8. Anyone else think sideline reporter Doris Burke could take Mike Miller in a fight?

Whenever Miller stumbles along the sideline like a crippled man recently released from a Vietcong prison, drink.

9. Seattle is like the scorned lover of this beautiful Thunder and OKC union.

Drink each time the city of Seattle is mentioned.

10. Every time Connie Britton is advertised on the new drama “Nashville,” drink.

ABC is all in on this show.

Which means you’ll see these ads all the time during the finals.

If you pause your DVR to check out Hayden Panettiere naked in her bed sheets, drink again. (Not that I’ve ever done this).

Clear eyes, full hearts…

11. Drink after Westbrook’s good play scowls.

Westbrook has officially killed the good play scowl. 

You know, the face every NBA player makes after a good play? In most sports if you make a good play, you smile and act like you’re happy. 

In the NBA you act like you just disemboweled your foe in the gladiatorial arena of ancient Rome.  

Westbrook is the worst offender in the league.

You make tens of millions of dollars to play basketball, why are you so angry?

Drink after his good play scowls.

12. Udonis Haslem and Kevin Durant can’t keep their mouthpieces in their mouths.

Haslem goes with the bite on the side of the mouthpiece move and Durant constantly takes his mouthpiece off and on like you used to do when you wore a retainer in 6th grade.

Drink when this happens.

13. Derek Fisher is 198 years old.

Every time his “playoff experience,” “leadership,” or “big shot making — defined as any shot at all that he makes,” is discussed, drink.

These rules should be enough to get you very drunk.

Fortunately, what else are you doing in June?

Nobody is actually working now.

Play along starting Thursday with the Twitter hashtag #nbadrink

Remember, you’re not drinking alone, you’re drinking with your Internet friends.

Written by Clay Travis

Clay Travis is the founder of the fastest growing national multimedia platform, OutKick, that produces and distributes engaging content across sports and pop culture to millions of fans across the country. OutKick was created by Travis in 2011 and sold to the Fox Corporation in 2021.

One of the most electrifying and outspoken personalities in the industry, Travis hosts OutKick The Show where he provides his unfiltered opinion on the most compelling headlines throughout sports, culture, and politics. He also makes regular appearances on FOX News Media as a contributor providing analysis on a variety of subjects ranging from sports news to the cultural landscape. Throughout the college football season, Travis is on Big Noon Kickoff for Fox Sports breaking down the game and the latest storylines.

Additionally, Travis serves as a co-host of The Clay Travis and Buck Sexton Show, a three-hour conservative radio talk program syndicated across Premiere Networks radio stations nationwide.

Previously, he launched OutKick The Coverage on Fox Sports Radio that included interviews and listener interactions and was on Fox Sports Bet for four years. Additionally, Travis started an iHeartRadio Original Podcast called Wins & Losses that featured in-depth conversations with the biggest names in sports.

Travis is a graduate of George Washington University as well as Vanderbilt Law School. Based in Nashville, he is the author of Dixieland Delight, On Rocky Top, and Republicans Buy Sneakers Too.