Dan Patrick and Fred Segal, the face behind the acclaimed @OldTakesExposed Twitter account, unveiled the Mount Rushmore of Sports Hot Takers this week.
First, Patrick and Segal must apologize to ESPN analyst Jalen Rose. According to Rose, using the words “Mount Rushmore” as a measuring stick for greatness is offensive, and no one better use it while in his vicinity.
Second, here’s their list:
- Skip Bayless
- Colin Cowherd
- Mike Francesa
Why are there only three faces on the list? It’s not clear if Patrick and Segal failed their history course or just got sidetracked. Either way, it’s up to us to fill out a full Mount Rushmore of Sports Hot Takers.
Jim Rome is the George Washington of sports takes. Rome proved you didn’t have to know much about sports to make the conversation spicy. Had Rome never opened up the call lines for “takes that don’t suck,” baseless outrage would have remained exclusive to the political arena.
With all due respect to Patrick and Segal, forgetting Rome is as bad as forgetting there are four faces on Mount Rushmore.
Rome established the genre, but Skip Bayless takes hot takes to a higher degree. Consider Bayless the Abraham Lincoln to Rome’s Washington.
Bayless defines the art of cartoonish sports opinions. That’s not a knock on him. He makes $8 million a year. Far more people care about Bayless’ takes than Louis Riddick’s analysis.
Bayless and Rome—what a start.
Stephen A. Smith
Next to Bayless ought to be his former debate partner, Stephen A. Smith.
Delivering takes requires an innate degree of sensationalism. A take works only if people react strongly. And no one drums up more attention than Smith.
Even when he’s hot-taking topics he’s unqualified to discuss, like the NFL:
Not as dumb as Stephen A Smith complimenting how Hunter Henry played all season when he was injured all season and saying he was looking forward to his matchup with Derrick Johnson who wasn't even in the league https://t.co/hkXrYcYDld pic.twitter.com/OxZs1S4a4A
— Neon Boudeaux (@Carnage45__) September 11, 2021
Jalen Rose Chris “Mad Dog” Russo
Dan Patrick mistakenly put Chris “Mad Dog” Russo’s former vice president Mike Francesa on the mountain ahead of Russo.
Francesa is the guy trying to prove he’s smarter than the other subjects in the room, despite rarely being. Meanwhile, Russo enters the stage convinced the need is dire to teach whippersnappers about the likes of Bob Cousy, Otto Graham, and some baseball players there’s no record of existing.
Somewhere out there, someone is nodding along with Mad Dog saying, “He’s right. Bob Cousy IS the greatest point guard in the history of basketball.” pic.twitter.com/cWKleFk8Gu
— Korked Bats (@korkedbats) April 20, 2022
While I fear I may have offended Jalen Rose by participating in such an exercise, Patrick and Segal’s hot takes about the Mount Rushmore of Sports Hot Takers baited me into it.