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Mizzou Sells T-Shirt After Beating Kentucky

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Y’all know I loved everything about my trip to Mizzou.

Loved the fans, the town, the stadium atmosphere, everything about the new addition to the SEC.

But Mizzou’s football team has been bad this year. Not bad because they joined the SEC, just bad because the Tigers are a bad football team. I still believe that Mizzou will do well in future years in the SEC, but this year is a complete mess.

If you want to feel better about Mizzou’s football future, keep in mind that the Tigers will play four of the top eight teams in this week’s BCS standings. Losses to Alabama, South Carolina, Georgia, and Florida, coming this weekend, aren’t really that bad. Just about every team in the country is losing to these four teams.

The SEC East turned out to be much better than we anticipated and Mizzou was worse.

You also drew Texas A&M on the road for the third straight season, which would ordinarily be fine given the result the past two years except for the fact that Texas A&M is really damn good this year.

Granted, the Vandy loss was a bad one, but Vandy could win seven or eight games this year. Seriously, that really might happen. 

Plus, you’ll score a bunch of points on Tennessee next week and if you pulled off an upset over the Vols then the season wouldn’t be that bad.

You would have won one game that wasn’t expected and lost one game that wasn’t expected.

But, having said all that, you still can’t sell t-shirts after you beat Kentucky.

In football.

Unless, that is, you have an unbelievable collection of excuses to share with the rest of the SEC.

Hence, my top ten reasons Mizzou designed a t-shirt after beating Kentucky.

1. Our coeds are wearing the t-shirts as mini-skirts.

In this case, I will buy 100.

2. You think this t-shirt is bad, imagine having to burn the shirt design after we lost at home to Vanderbilt.

Am I the only one who would love to see the shirts that were prepared in advance of every other SEC game.

Did they even make one for Bama?

3. We have to pay for the $7,600 in Vegas strip club expenses somehow.

Let he whose credit card has not been rejected in a Vegas strip club throw the first stone.

Moving right along…

4. Gary Pinkel okayed this after two jumbo glasses of wine.

(By the way, great Mizzou costume idea? Pinkel’s jumbo glass of wine. Thank me later.)

5. Some people may be confused and think this is actually a shirt celebrating a basketball win.

I think I’d roll with this excuse.

6. The waitresses at Shiloh made us do it. 

Some of you think this is just an excuse to show a bunch of hot girls outside an awesome college bar.

The rest of you are crazy. 

7. The Big 12 made us do it. 

I would just roll with this one. 

8. Do you know how much money we’ve lost this year on the Dorial Green-Beckham jerseys?

Good point.

9. We got UK and KU mixed up.

This happened after the t-shirt guy got drunk celebrating Kansas’s collapse against Texas.

10. This guy demanded it and promised to wear a shirt. 

And we think he would bomb campus if we didn’t acquiesce to his demands. 

 

Written by Clay Travis

OutKick founder, host and author. He's presently banned from appearing on both CNN and ESPN because he’s too honest for both.